Still convinced my wife is pregnant after 3 negative tests

[monty1984]

Hi everyone. I'm a husband looking for advice from anyone who has experience or knowledge on the topic of conception.

I recently married my partner of 9 years, i'm 33 and shes 30. She was on the pill for years and stopped taking it in early 2017. Since then shes had a regular period which is usually "heavy" and lasts for 5 days. Shes had regular periods for atleast 6 months, and recently saw GP who says there's no reason why she shouldn't be able to conceive but stated both of us being 18st could make it more difficult.

We've been having unprotected vaginal sex a few times a week since April 2017, attempting to have sex around the time of her ovulation date. We had no reason to suspect she was pregnant until mid July 2017.

Bleeding starts around 5 days late of the time of her period, which is always regular, it lasts for 3-4 days but is very "light" for her. Minimal bleeding with spotting in the last 2 days. (Usually shes suffers from a "heavy" period and requires multiple pads and tampon per day).

In late July her on-off pregnancy symptoms included: nausea, headaches, leg aches, swollen breasts, fatigue, light bleeding/spotting at time of period (no further bleeding), period/bleeding was 5 days late, change in craving (for sugar - she usually she loves savory foods), bloating, raised temperature, weight gain and "felt different".

Urination is only increased if she drinks alot

She's taken 3 urine tests over the last 3 weeks, 2 clear blue and a first response. All have been negative, she claims she's followed the instructions correctly each time.

I'm rather confused as all symptoms have now stopped occurring except headache. Shes had no bleeding since or any evidence of miscarriage since the possible conception.

We were both convinced we would have had a positive urine test, that would indicate pregnancy.

I'm concerned she could have had a "phantom" pregnancy as we are both extremely keen to have children, and she is at higher risk of phantom pregnancy after having an abortion at 18, being sexually abused as a child and due to suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts/attempts in the past. But phantom only occurs in 1 in 22,000 pregnancies so i'm not sure.

My wife wont even discuss the topic anymore and is reluctant to bother a doctor only to get a 4th negative test.

If anyone has any helpful advice then i would be most grateful.

Thank you so much. Monty

Sorry but a dr won't give her a test as the ones you do at home are so accurate. Perhaps it was a biochemical pregnancy.
Keep trying is my advice!

Thanks for the advice

Have you actually seen the tests?
Drs don't do tests - you only use the at home ones
Her symptoms could also be hormone problems or uterus issues - she needs to be checked out by gp

It could be a chemical pregnancy but on the other hand if tests have all been negative it's unlikely. However I find that if you're looking out for symptoms you will find them! Also period symptoms are pretty similar to pregnancy symptoms if you do a bit of research - not something you're aware of until TTC and desperate to be pregnant. Similar thing for late periods.

It took around 8 months for my periods to stabilise after coming off the pill. In the months after I initially came off the pill they were as regular as clockwork, and then after 5 months of that they went a bit mad until they settled again 3 months later. So it could still be pill withdrawal?
On the flip side there are people who don't get positive urine pregnancy tests at all, or until much later in a pregnancy. When is her August period due?

I agree that if you want to be pregnant you can convince yourself that normal niggles are actually pregnancy symptoms. If she's getting consistently negative tests, she's not pregnant.

I don't like your use of "she claims she followed the instructions". Do you have reason to suspect she isn't capable of following instructions?

Hi.

My wife's next period is mid -late August. I'm just an impatient person. Monty

Hi.

My wife is more than capable of doing a urine test. I'm just pinning my hopes on the fact that the tests are either not accurate or that the test has become contaminated. Monty

I'm just pinning my hopes on the fact that the tests are either not accurate or that the test has become contaminated.

That's a waste of time though. You're better off focussing on maximising your chances this month.

I had a phantom pregnancy years ago, if she doesn't think she's pregnant then I think this is unlikely. I wouldn't believe negative urine or blood tests, it took my GP sending me for an ultrasound to convince me!

What I would say is that since starting TTC 16 months ago I have been much more aware of what my body is doing and notice loads of 'symptoms' that were probably there before but I wasn't looking. I manage to convince myself I'm pregnant every month unti AF arrives. I've also gone from having regular cycles to having all sorts of odd length cycles (the longest being 6 weeks late!) So once again this month I am spotting new 'symptoms' but am prepared that yet again I won't be pregnant.

Oh goodness Monty. Your angst is palpable. Just keep at it. If First Response is negative then she's almost certainly not pregnant. Pink dye tests are most reliable and First Response is the gold standard.

I highly recommend Clear Blue digital ovulation kit to help identify the right time to try and conceive.

Have you and your wife looked at losing weight? It'll improve the chances of conceiving and also be better for your wife if she becomes pregnant.

Look, if she's been on the pill for years that will have regulated her periods and symptoms somewhat. Just because they've always been predictable in the few months she's been off it didn't mean hers (or any woman's) periods symptoms would USUALLY be the same every month. It is frustrating, and even the times in my life I haven't been using hormonal contraception, you never notice how variable things are month to month until you're analysing them like a hawk! A weird period's usually just that, and weird symptoms the same. At least looking at it that way is about the only way to stay sane... Trust the tests!!

Thank you all for your advice. We will take your constructive comments onboard. All the best. Monty

It's extremely unlikely she's pregnant, you would have had positive tests and her symptoms would have strengthened, not stopped. She did actually have a period only a little bit late so I think it's likely her cycle is still settling somewhat post pill. Also being very overweight may affect her hormonal balance and cause irregular cycles and issues conceiving. Second PPs suggestion that a good thing would be to look at both of you losing weight, perhaps together so you can support each other.

It sounds she may have had a cycle where she does not ovulate. Perfectly normal. It could have messed with her hormones which would have caused the late period, light period and "symptoms" which all are exactly the same as normal period symptoms. At this stage you've only been TTC since April, it's now August and I'm guessing cycle 4/5? Normal healthy couples can take a year to fall pregnant, try to support each other and have fun in this process, you sound worried and honestly, you don't have any reason to at this stage. The dreaded r word relax and enjoy!! Good luck!!

False negatives are very rare. I know when TTCing I've had months where I've felt very very pregnant (it's my second), but still got a negative. The best thing you can do at this early stage is to not symptom spot or be too scientific about it. Just give it a good try for a few months, and if it doesn't work out then it's time to see a doctor.