I want to ttc but I am worried about these things - can anyone talk me down?

[Freezingwinter]

I have a beautiful 2.5 year old boy who was conceived after 10 months ttc.

We both are ready for another baby in the next year, but I am worried about so many things! I am a huge over thinker and a massive worrier. But..
I had a fairly easy pregnancy but was SO tired early on. How do people manage with the tiredness and morning sickness and a toddler?

I also breastfed for a year and the first few weeks I remember feeling just wiped out. How do people manage with the cluster feeding and a toddler who won't sit still?

He will be at nursery 3 days a week by the time a baby arrived if we were lucky enough to have another! I work two days a week as a nurse (was Fulltime first pregnancy)
My mom and husband work Fulltime but can ocasionally get days off to help.

I'm also worried it's going to take us ages to conceive again, resulting in a bigger age gap! I'd start ttc now, but the worries I have about coping are stopping me. When my son was about a year old we both caught a vomiting bug and no one could come help, and it was awful! And that's what I keep thinking of

So what to do? Can anyone convince me we should go for it and We'll all be fine?

I'm a SAHM (DH works long hours and no family near by). We have a 2.5 yo and I'm 5 months pregnant.
Weeks 7-10 were tough and we didn't do that much in those weeks. I napped when he slept in the afternoon and went to bed when he did at night. In the days I tried to set him up with activities that he could run around by himself and do; bubble machine, music to dance, wash his cars etc. There were also a couple of times I put peppa pig on my iPhone and cuddled him
In bed next to me.
I was lucky in that after week 10 I felt much better, not sure if I could have survived 9 months of feeling so rough.

Thanks for the reply! How are you finding it now ?

I have a 2 year old and a 7 week old.

I had a difficult pregnancy sickness wise the first time and the same again this time. The first trimester was hard. I think weeks 7 - 18 I felt the worst and we spent A LOT of time at home with DP picking up the slack in terms of housework. Some days I did nothing apart from just about looking after DS1. I won't lie, it wasn't the best time of my life and he watched too much TV, but it's very temporary. I napped when my son napped and went to bed the same time as him, and got through. Working 3 days a week alongside it all was tough, I'd be out of the house 8am - 6pm and retching/being sick all morning. Felt rather sorry for myself. Once the sickness improved it was much better. Like I say though it's a matter of weeks and even though I'm sure it was tiring for my partner that bit was over very quickly. I just did what I could and left the rest.

I'm breastfeeding too and intend to feed the same as my first ideally, about 18 months, though will supplement from about 10 months. It's actually been fine. My toddler does get a little frustrated sometimes but he can bring books to me that I can read him when I'm feeding, I can sing while feeding which he likes so he can dance... even if the wheels on the bloody bus is the dullest song ever at least he's happy... and I take him to the park so he can run about even I'm stuck on a park bench and cbeebies is always there for you.

It's easier having a baby and a toddler than being pregnant with a toddler but neither are awful! Go for it. When my toddler stokes the babies head and kisses him it's so worth it

I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant with dc2. DS is 3 next week.

Around 7-12 weeks I was incredibly tired. I had lots of lay ins and day time naps with DS. And also had lots of quiet/calm time, like reading, drawing, puzzles, tv and iPad . It really was ok. The tiredness wasn't as bad as first time. I was working full time back then, now just two days a week.

I had sickness with DS every day from about 7 weeks to 16 weeks but I have not had any yet this pregnancy. So you might not have any. I was very surprised (and very pleased!)

I don't feel tired or even feel pregnant yet tbh. Not struggling in any way yet with looking after DS and being pregnant. Obviously as I get bigger that will change but so far so good.

Can't advise on breastfeeding as didn't bf with DS and this one isn't here yet (and not breastfeeding this one either).

I would say start TTC ASAP. We put it off for one reason or another and then when we decided to start it took about 9 months to get a bfp. With DS it was the second month.
I wanted an age gap of 2.5 but it's now going to be almost 3.5.

I'm apprehensive of how things are going to be. How hard it's going to be. DS will be in nursery 5 mornings a week by then so I've got to get into a routine ASAP and be able to get up and out early and on time each day. Whereas DS and I would have lay ins and maternity leave was really chilled.

Also having another c-section so will find that difficult too.

But it'll all be ok. We'll get through it. It'll all just be a phase. Sometimes stressful but sometimes lovely. Lots of people have more children and cope, we can too!

I think what I found scary this time was the actually deciding to start TTC. 'Are we sure?' 'Shall we wait one more month?' We'd have a bad day with DS and go 'nononono not yet.' Then a lovely day and go 'oh how easy would a baby have fitted in today'. It was really tough to just say 'ok let's do it!' But I'm glad we did and just want baby to be here now.

Sorry have rambled on! Hopefully it makes some sense

I feel fine now thanks and have the same energy as pre pregnancy times (I've not hit the last trimester yet though!) The early stages when I felt rough felt like an eternity at the time, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't long at all. It wouldn't put me off going for a third.

Well, you've certainly given me something to think about! The likelihood I know is that I wouldn't feel too bad, for too long! I guess it's just a matter of getting through the rough times!

DS is 2.5 and I'm 38 weeks with DS2. I'm a SAHM too. Weeks 6-12 were hard. I barely left the house other then to visit family and it was all such a massive effort. I got through by doing anything I could sat or laid down. He also watched too much TV. He doesn't nap but I used to put us both in bed after dinner for an hour and give him my iPad. It's not the greatest parenting technique but you do what you have to! As soon as I felt better we went out all the time and it's been largely fine since. No idea yet what balancing two is like though!!

I would say to start TTC asap if you definitely want another. It unexpectedly took us much longer to conceive this one than our first!

To add to my post though I really love having too. When I'm watching DS1 on the park on his own I can't wait for DS2 to be big enough to join in with him. When I was pregnant a 2 year age gap felt really short (people regularly commented despite it being a very common gap) but now I'm really thankful we didn't wait longer. DS1 is getting more grown up by the day and I think I'd would have regretted a bigger gap.

That being said most people you ask love the age gap they have no matter what it is!

Two* autocorrect is determined to make me look stupid haha

Thanks so much for the replies! Dh is happy to start whenever.. The final decision as to when is down to me. I want to be pregnant, but the thought of being sick and tired with an energetic two year old scares me! But i probably won't get pregnant right away, and by the time I do he will be older.. Argh! What to do

I think when it's a second pg it's always that bit more challenging - whether you have a toddler or a pre-schooler or a kid just starting school, there's always something that is going to make you think 'this pg is going to be too hard'.

So actually, there's little point in trying to time it so you're out of the woods with DC1. If you want another dc, I would just go for it, honestly.

After reading these posts and some talking to friends, I think I might just start not preventing and see what happens. I am a bundle of nerves and excitement and there's a massive feeling of responsibility this time around as I already have a little one to take care of and think about.

Good luck!!

Good luck!

Thanks for the good luck wishes!!

We have started

Haha, well done! You'll be amazed at how fast you go from being nervous it might happen to being impatient when it doesn't!

Thank you!

I have mixed feelings and an bht scared and excited, I guess it's differrent second time around as there's another person in the equation! I have figured it might be hard on certain days but on the whole im feeling positive and slightly impatient haha!