Need a verbal hug ladies :-(

[Sshsecretenclosed]

Dear all,
I came off the pill on New Year's Eve after nine years of being on it. I have been fortunate that my periods have (so far) fallen each twenty eight days, with EWCM on days 14-16. Me and my husband have been consciously DTD during the middle (ish) window! I have sporadically used opks too but mainly in the first few months. I have had a lot on and I guess we could be being a little more proactive but this last month we have DTD lots and relaxed on hols. Today af started. I just feel deflated. I know eight months is no time compared to some but feel like I'm having a moment of realisation that it could take ages or never happen for us. I'm panicking. I need to just hear that others feel the same or have experienced this.

Hello. I can hug you.

I came off the pill and tried for 12 months regularly DTD. I was youngish at 26 when I first tried. Told to keep trying for another 6 months.

After 18 months given Clomid to raise more eggs as it looked like I was not releasing eggs every month.

Long story short..After 6 months on Clomid I conceived. New partner a few years later. Came off pill and fell within 3 months!

Not sure if my body started behaving or my mew partner now DH is super fertile!

Fingers crossed and go and talk to your doctor. The sooner you register a possible issue the better

Hugs... the most consistently low I felt was around the 10-13 month mark. Now I only freak out when we get even minutely bad news.

I find getting the news while my period starts and I'm low and posing anyway is the worst double whammy.

Be kind to yourself. Do something you enjoy. No need to worry yet!!

Just be aware following the previous poster that some gps can be real jerks so I wouldn't go while feeling weak and sad for myself.

Even after ttc for a year my gp had no sympathy and refused to help me... so he made me feel way worse when I was already barely keeping it together...

Thank you ladies. A friend who is a midwife has said to relax and at a year see a doc as the pill can stay in your system for six months! I have only a couple of close friends who know we are ttc and I already feel a bit awkward that it hasn't happened! I don't know whether to use opks next month or if that's putting pressure on us?

Hi Ssh verbal hug coming your way!

I'm currently 9dpo on cycle 8 so I totally understand your frustration. We started out in January feeling so excited but since around the 6 month mark it's got much harder to be positive. I have also had a few months where I did opks and bbt to check when I ov but it was always cd14 and a regular 29 day cycle so now I don't track and just try to relax. We've tried doing it every day, every other day, smep and none of it has been successful! I know if af turns up next week then I will be feeling deflated too.

I did see a gynae a couple of weeks ago about pre-af spotting and she said that we would be jumping the gun to start fertility testing at this point and that it's still likely to happen naturally. She has referred me for a u/s but that is more for the spotting (although she doesn't think that is affecting ttc anyway).

I don't have any helpful tips to add as I've not conceived either but I did want you to know that you're definitely not alone. I hope you have a fun weekend planned to make up for evil af arriving!

Oh bless you. Thank you. It's great to have somebody at exactly the same stage! I have had a couple of months where we barely DTD for one reason or another so maybe underneath I realise I'm jumping the gun with all the worry. I just feel like I'm noticing pregnant people everywhere.

Im with you OP. Have been TTC for 17 months now, have had a mc and a chemical in that time. AF got me this morning, was sure this was our ninth but clearly not. No words for how crap this all is, is there?

Hugs for you as well. Spend all these years avoiding getting pregnant and then actually it isn't quite so instant! Oh my.

Hugs. Ive been trying for 7 months now. I thought it would be alot easier so i didnt take any vitamins or anything.
Ive just started taking evening oill of primrose and pre pregnancy vitamins. Hope you get your bump soon. Its so nice to have somewhere to talk openly about this xxx

Sorry you're feeling so shit. I know what it's like and it's megapiss.

I don't know if you've used a Clearblue smiley fertility tester but if you haven't just get it. Expensive but worth it. But read the instructions first!

Good luck and throwing a hug your way

Oh I remember the hell of TTC. Four years later miracle baby number one and five years after that miracle baby two (just when we were fearing that IVF was the only option and were gearing up with closed). The heartache every month was flattening! Good luck, and don't loose heart.

So lovely to be able to discuss openly and honestly, with others who understand and get it. We are certainly in this together ladies. Me and my DH are so close but for some reason I feel awkward discussing it too much with him as he's a very laid back person and believes that it will happen. I'm far more instant! I have used the CB dual hormone opks but not the monitor. I used the CB opks initially in first three months then told myself to chill. Maybe in September I'll get back on those. I don't know if my heart (or head) can do that this next month. I liked it when somebody up above reminded me to look after myself. It's important ladies - we all need a reminder!

It really is. I dont really have anyone i can talk to. I feel the same with my other half. He just thinks it will happen when it happens. I was ok to begin with but now its geting me down. Ive changed my diet but i think i left it a bit long before i did.

I so need this post right now - been ttc #2 for 5 months now and i was gutted this morning when af turned up on time. Like u other ladies im not sure i can carry on going through the heartache of feeling like a failure month after month. Nobody knows we are ttc so i feel alone with it all and dh is very laid back that it will "just happen" so not really the right person to discuss my irrational/frustrated feelings with.

I hate that feeling totally sucks. Soo good to find people that understand. I kinda feel a bit lighter now. Thanks girls for giving me somewhere to talk xx

Lovely to hear that others feel awkward with DH. I almost feel annoyed with him when he tells me it will happen when it happens! Frustrates me. I already take the seven seas vitamins so will keep on. I think in September I might go back to opks. This month I'm going to give myself some head space xx

I can't speak with DH as much as I feel I need to, either. Not because he's not receptive to my feelings or knows how I am (not) coping; but because i feel I'm becoming a bore!! He talks to me sometimes and I always feel better for letting it out, but I do try to restrict myself.

After 18 months, I'm on the brink of giving up. We've agreed that if nothing has happened by October (6 months after miscarriage) im going back to the Dr to see what they can do but I'm not hopeful. I feel like I'm being punished for something.

Oh bless you. I feel like I don't want to worry my husband about me. Does that make any sense? I just feel like this weekend I've felt really low. A combination of returning from holiday, DH working late all weekend and af making an appearance when I truly felt in my heart, this was the month

I know what you mean - I keep it from DH a bit as I don't see the point in both of us being worried. I also don't want him to worry or it'll worry me more. His calmness keeps me sane at times! I know he is desperate to be a dad though and I really want to be able to give that to him. Pretty much resigned myself to this not being our month.

Like I say it's an odd one because me and DH usually tell each other everything. We need positive thinking but I know how it feels trying to keep that month after month. I'm in awe of ladies who are into years of this. Don't know how they do it