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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

When to start ttc?

15 replies

RDW1989 · 08/08/2017 17:10

Hi there,

New to mumsnet :) We have just gotten married and we would like to have a baby in the next couple of years. I'm currently on the pill (Yasmin).

For various work-related reasons (enabling me to get the most out of my maternity leave) it would make sense to have the baby between October and December. I realise that you cannot necessarily time these things, but I would like to at least try :)

My question is: when should I come off the pill and when should we start trying to conceive?

(P.S. If it helps, I will be 28 by then, and there is (to my knowledge) no history of fertility issues on either side of the family. I will also be a bridesmaid in July so don't want to be about to pop then!)

OP posts:

HoldTightPretendItsAPlan · 08/08/2017 17:21

I would say as soon as possible, and use condoms in the mean time, if you've been on the pill for a long time it can take a long time for your periods to get back to normal,

Original poster

RDW1989 · 08/08/2017 17:29

Thanks for your reply :) I've only been back on it for just under a year, so I'm hoping it won't take long to get back to normal.

If it were you, when would you stop using the condoms and actively try to conceive? I've been told to start early because it always takes a while (and we would like children soon), but I also don't want to be due in July at my best friend's wedding... so difficult!

OP posts:

Mrsjones17 · 08/08/2017 17:30

Try not to sandwich yourself into those specific dates. Hopefully you will be lucky and fall pregnant when you want however increasingly if you read on here things don't always happen that way...I was 'pill free' for two years before we started to TTC. Similar to you got all our ducks in a row and thought right this would be a good time to start....8 months down the line and not a peep! Similar to you I have a 'window' in my job where it would be best for a baby to be born but now I'm past caring and just hoping it happens at any point!! I really hope you are like my numerous friends that have life plans and the baby comes along when is best for you x

emvy · 08/08/2017 17:34

I would second as soon as possible. As hold says, it can take a while for the pill to work it's way out of your system. You'll also want to start taking folic acid about 6 months before.

I also used to think the same thing - that ideally, I'd like a baby between the months of September and April because that fit in well with my life. No history of family problems, although I was under no illusions that it would happen immediately, just within 6 months to a year would be nice. Turns out, it did happen immediately. I didn't think twice about the fact the pregnancy would end in a baby. Except it didn't. 2 miscarriages down and I've thrown all expectation of timings out the window.

I don't want to put a downer on things. You could have your baby exactly when you want it - plenty of people do. I hope you do. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself. Relax, have fun and give yourself lots of time. Best of luck to you x

hellomarshmallow · 08/08/2017 17:39

It doesn't always take a while; you could get pregnant first cycle trying, but you just don't know in advance. I would start ttc in December/January if the wedding is important to you.

londonfeather · 08/08/2017 17:44

Also no matter how well you plan.. babies pick their time to arrive too so even if you time your pregnancy for the right due date there is no guarantee they would come then..

Original poster

RDW1989 · 08/08/2017 18:09

Thank you everyone for your advice and best wishes :) I was also thinking December/January but anticipate that I will miss my work 'window' since it likely won't happen straight away. It's not the end of the world if I do, but it's nice to have a start date for ttc in my mind so that I can mentally prepare!

OP posts:

HoldTightPretendItsAPlan · 08/08/2017 18:14

Would you rather have a baby in September or January? That would influence my answer.

If Sept then start dec / jan but you would be 6 months by the wedding. If Man would be better probably jan/ feb.

I'd also start using an app to record your periods & think about temping or using opks to identify when you're ovulating for as long as possible.

It might not happen when you want it to, but you can do everything possible to try.

Sluttybartfast · 08/08/2017 18:15

If you and partner are both ready and want a baby, then FGS just start.

You don't know whether it will take your body over a year to re-normalise after the pill (not uncommon). You don't know whether you'll conceive straightaway or whether it will take months or not happen at all without medical help. You don't know whether you'll miscarry once or more. You don't know if baby will be early or late.

Babies just can't be planned into convenient windows in the year. If a baby happens, you work around it. If are generally ready, start.

HoldTightPretendItsAPlan · 08/08/2017 18:17

Also it's no more or less likely to happen on the first month than the 20th. All things being equal it's a 1 third chance every time.

Sluttybartfast · 08/08/2017 20:22

The thing you have to understand about ttc is that you are not in control. Babies can't be planned like holidays or weddings. The baby has YOU, when it fucking well feels like it, not the other way round.

GodIsDead · 08/08/2017 20:29

I wouldn't get your heart set on any specific time for the birth because it might not happen right away. It took us a year after I stopped taking Yasmin and the only thing I didn't want was a baby around Christmas and DS was born Jan 2nd.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 08/08/2017 20:36

While I have lots of sympathy with the 'you can't control it so start straight away' posts - I'm a year and three miscarriages down, not pregnant, and have also had to learn a lot about what I can and can't control - I don't think it's unreasonable of OP to want to try for her ideal time, in the knowledge it might not happen. The fact of the matter is, galling as it is for someone like me, lots of people do time their pregnancies like this and everything works out for them. I know someone who gave themselves a two month window to conceive; I thought this was total madness (I'd been trying to conceive for six months at this point without success) but she conceived first month and is due in October. OP doesn't know yet whether or not she'll find it hard; why not start trying at the 'right' time in the knowledge it might not happen then? I'd echo the advice to come off pill and use condoms ASAP, and then to start trying in December. Good luck and I hope it happens quickly for you!

Jamon · 08/08/2017 20:48

No fertility problems in our family and we've been trying 20 cycles with no success - it's been a complete shock to me that it didn't happen quickly and easily. I would say don't put it off - but then I've been unlucky.

crazychemist · 10/08/2017 14:07

I'd recommend coming off the pill and giving your body time to adjust. It will also mean you have time to get used to your cycle, which may not be the same as it used to be if you've been on hormonal contraception for a long time. While obviously you can't completely control when baby turns up, some people find it comforting to monitor temperature and cervical mucus for a few cycles so they know when they are at their most fertile and can "aim" for the right time to maximise their chances. Good luck with it, I hope it goes well!
(P.s. I was heavily pregnant at quite a few weddings, and it was actually quite fun and means I have photos of me with bump that I otherwise wouldn't have bothered with. The last one I went to was two weeks before baby was born, it didn't stop me enjoying it hugely)

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