Coping with baby showers when TTC

[catlover1987]

Just wondering if anyone has been to a baby shower and how they coped? We have now been TTC for a year and have just started having tests done. I've been referred to the infertility clinic this week and have a baby shower this Saturday, so it's shitty timing.

I can't not go. It is my best friend and to be honest, I haven't seen her much at all throughout the pregnancy as it's just been really hard for me. But I do worry I'll get really emotional and find it difficult to cope. Any advice?

It depends on the friend and who else will be there. I know you say you can't not go, but does she know about your appointment. Is she a sensitive friend?

It depends if you can keep it bright and breezy but there will be a lot of focus on pregnancy and babies. Maybe have a treat lined up for yourself for afterwards if you do go. If you get emotional can you say you're just so happy for her. But if you're likely to break down sobbing have a think if you want to put yourself through it.

I dislike the concept of baby showers anyway but so far have got through them okay. Good luck.

Tbh honest i think you should go. I think the whole point of friendship is that you support each other through the ups and downs. i understand your are TTCing (as am I), but your time will also come and you will want people to celebrate with you. If people ask you about your TTC, don't feel pressure to answer, perhaps you can politely tell them to buzz off or stop being so nosey. Honestly, if this is your best friend and you don't go, it sets you off on a really bad path. Does that mean you won't go to see her after the baby arrives too? You can do it OP, even if it means going for part of the day. All the best.

Hi cat, sorry you're having a tough time. I agree with Treacle and have been chatting thru similar with my sister as she is in same position as you regarding friends / new babies. I think it does depend on whether good / sensitive friend. But if you can manage it much better to go as Treacle says.

I did the opposite and didn't really support some friends as much as I might have done when their kids came in my early 30s and I desperately wanted same. Now mine are here I regret not being more present for others tho my happiness was still to come!

It does depend on the friend, how sensitive and kind they are, and circs. But this is a factor to bear in mind. Wishing you best for your appointment!!!

This is your best friend. I think that you should go. What are you going to do when the baby is born? Not visit?

As hard as it will be, you should go.

Op you'll get more understanding on the infertility board. I'd talk to your friend and see what she says. Does she know you've been having trouble conceiving?

You can still be a lovely, supportive friend without going to a baby shower.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm going to go. There was never really a question of not going, it was more just wondering how I would put on a brave face. I have made my friend a little maternity care package with nice toiletries , chocolates and a book so hopefully she'll like that. I haven't really spoken to any of my friends about TTC. They know that we're trying but I have never actually come out and told them we're having difficulties. I'm sure it will be fine. It's just shitty timing really as I've had my blood results back today and it's looking like there might be problems, so probably being a bit more sensitive than usual. Thanks again to all that commented.

Good on you OP. Your time will soon come. Fingers crossed for you x