2nd child too quick?

[chump1066]

So my DD is nearly 5 weeks old (first child) and I always planned to have more than one if I could. Not planning on anything right away but just wondering whether having your babies closer together takes its toll on your body quite a bit?

Had a long induction labour with forceps and episiotomy so just putting feelers out to see when people had their next baby after a similar experience? Am I naive to think I could easily do it again so quick?
Ty

Wow it took me 7 weeks to walk comfortably after my episiotomy 😂 Very brave. It took me a while to decide I wanted TTC again my son is 2.

It's entirely your choice if you think you could manage then go for it, I'm sure there's some advice to wait for your body to heal etc but plenty of people have got pregnant and had 2md children close together. X x

I'm pregnant at the moment with number 2 and there will be 13 months between them when this one arrives. Am only about half way through this pregnancy so can't tell you what it's going to be like, but so far it has been ok once I got past the initial exhaustion. I was worried about the toll it would take on my body but I think it's only a major concern if you've had a c section and then you're advised to wait a while before getting pregnant again. If you're breastfeeding, you may end up stopping sooner than you had planned if you get pregnant again.

I've come to the conclusion that there are pros and cons of both small and larger age gaps, and you just get on with things whatever way they work out for you.

Amongst a large (20+) group of mum friends, we have a huge variety. Some have kids spaces 3 or 4 years apart. The closest age gap is 16 months. I would say, from personal observation, that mums with kids and an age gap of less than 2 years really struggled. Have seen some health issues in 2nd kids (a 17 month age gap and 18 month age gap) and in a different family a very bad effect on mum's mental health having 2 under 19 months. Don't underestimate having 2 in nappies, both night waking at different times, 2 non-walkers or just walking and a newborn.
The effect isn't just guesswork - these are close friends who didn't think this through/didn't think they would get pregnant that quick.
The effect on their bodies hasn't been as obvious - yet - I would say it is more on their mental health and self esteem.

Sorry to sound so negative. But I have seen friends go thru this with 2 small ones close together. One of them said just the other week "number 1 was so perfect, we had another one, he hasn't slept through the night ever, I'm exhausted with a 2 and a 3 year old." Ip to you to consider pros and cons.

My 2 are 16 months apart and the first year was absolutely exhausting but DD2 is now 16 months (DD1 rapidly approaching 3) and I wouldn't change anything. You need to be very organised and be prepared to ask for help- I have fantastic parents who live nearby and have saved my sanity at times, but actually surely all of that applies to most people with little ones? My youngest is a non-sleeper and we are up frequently every night, oldest sleeps very well. Yes I'm tired a lot of the time but so are my friends who have one child or a bigger gap. on terms of the toll on my body, I put on a lot of weight with my second but that was mainly because I had bad morning sickness at the start and eating (crap) helped!

I think I needed to hear some of the wise advice above. I have a 7 month old and have been a little bit obsessed with having another one soon but can't because of some work commitments for next year. So the plan is to try and have a 2-2.5 year gap. I too have a very easy baby so think 'I could have another one like that no problem' but if I get a colicky, screamer who doesn't sleep I know I would lose my mind. Think I'll try and focus on the one that I have!

I had 2 close together then another 4.5 years later.
With the first two I was tired for sure but I don't think it affected my mental health especially. I just sort of accepted that these were 'the baby years' and I wouldn't really achieve much else at that time.
Going back to have the 3rd was harder. I was out of the way of babies, their needs were so different, what they were capable of was so different.
So there are pros and cons to both options really.

Mine have 18mths between them.. I must admit to many many "wtf have I done", a tantruming toddler and a baby that didn't sleep was harsh, but when the youngest was about 1.5 and the eldest was 3 it got easier, and they are the best of friends, company for each other, and are into the same things, organising days out are a breeze, so it's all good now

I have a 14 month gap. I think second pregnancy I was anaemic quite early on which I think was due to the two pregnancies. Other than that though it was fine - second birth etc much more straightforward and less of a shock!
It is tiring but DS1 is the worst sleeper so adding in DD2 who actually sleeps hasn't added much to the sleep deprivation.
I don't find two in nappies a problem I just change them at the same time (unless poo then that's immediately) it's easy enough.
All age gaps have pluses and minuses. Now they are nearly 2 and 3 they play together and have little chats. It's a lot easier than the early days. Trips and holidays etc are easier than with a bigger gap as the same things entertain both.

Do not underestimate the fighting though!

I have 16 months between my two. DD2's first year was the hardest. They're 6 and 7 now. I wouldn't change it now, days out are easier, they're so close, there's only 1 school year between them so they're pretty much at the same level (DD2 copies DD1's school work!) I have friends with bigger gaps that seems harder in a way with a newborn and a 5 or 6 year old. But no way is right, just what is right for you

17 months between mine. Long labour, intervention, episiotomy and forceps with my first.

My second child was an emergency c section, he had colic and it was tough but they're thick as thieves now at 8 and 9.

Jesus Christ, 5 weeks! The though of another baby would've made my blood run cold until DS was 2. He is 2y8m now so if all goes according to plan there might be about a 3 1/2 year gap. I'm okay with it - there's a 4 1/2 year gap between me and my sister and we are still close.

Mentally I would've found it very tough to have two so close and physically I didn't really feel back to normal til about a year - fanjo was fine (elective CS) but my neck and shoulders were constantly in pain from BFing and lugging the baby capsule.

Oh gosh!!!

I have DD who will be 2 in September, and her little brother is due in early November, hope there's lots of positives as I imagined

Sometimes though you just have to bite the bullet. My DD is 2 next month and I've been ttc since my periods returned last September. Even if she gets to 3 when she has a little sibling, chances are, because she has Down's Syndrome, I'll still have two in nappies, one non-mobile and a wobbly walker etc. But as I'm nearly 35 (and this ttc journey is a long drawn out process) I don't feel I have time on my side to delay....

Thank you for all your replies ladies, after reading I think we will probably ttc before this year is out so they're close in age but not as close as Irish twins

DS was born with an espisiotomy and forceps, I feel pregnant with DD when DS was 12 weeks old. The pregnancy was pretty tough, my pelvic floor wasn't back to normal so every time I was sick, I wet myself (nice!) and I had pretty bad siatica all the way through.

Labour with DD was brilliant though, no complications, a quick and pretty easy birth.

I wouldn't have two so close together again as it's hard work physically and mentally!

My two are 16.5 months apart and so great that I am (planned) pregnant again and will have around 17 months between this baby and the middle one. It's not sleepless nights and a struggle for everyone if you have them close together.

Fell not feel!

According to women's health research, the optimum time for your body is any time from a 2-5 year age gap (so starting 15 months after you give birth). Becoming pregnant very quickly after a pregnancy makes you more likely to have a huge number of complications, from pre-eclampsia to GD to SPD.