Broody but not the 'right time' help? :(

[user1499448426]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here so sorry if I've posted this in the wrong place. I'm just feeling completely down in the dumps and deflated and was hoping to get some non biased advice.

I'm 23 and am living with my boyfriend of coming up to two years (he's turning 24 soon). We have a good relationship, are in love, committed to one another and basically each other's best friend. We've always talked about a vague future plan and have agreed we'd like children in about 3 years or so once we've saved a little more money and had a few more childless life experiences I guess like holidays.

For some reason these past few days I have been horribly broody, to the point where it's all I can think about, dream about, talk about. I almost feel empty like I'm craving a child to love and care for and join our little family. I've always loved babies (I'm actually a full time newborn and baby photographer) but I've never felt like this before.

I've discussed it with my partner and he's a pretty broody guy also and has always been keen to have children and he has kind of said 'well what about next year'.

The problem is I don't know how to deal with this broodiness. Do I Listen to it or is it something that will go away after a few days? I mean there are so many reasons we should wait, we are still pretty young and I know we should enjoy our time to ourselves, plus being self employed it will really change things for me financially as I will have to cut down my hours a lot.

I don't even know what advice Im really asking other than, did you experience this crazy broody feeling before you were 'ready' and did it go away or did you listen to your body? :(

Thanks for your help!

If you keep waiting for the 'perfect' time it will never happen.

If you are financially stable enough to support a child, don't have anything either of you will regret not doing before the child is born then I don't get the big deal about waiting.

I'm a bit older than you, and was waiting for the right time too. It's still not here and if DP and I don't get a move on I'm worried we will never have kids. And to top it all now DP is saying he wishes we had kids younger so we could have a life after them whilst we are still young enough to enjoy it.

But everyone's thoughts on it varies. As long as you are happy and stable in finances and a relationship I see no issue with trying in the new year, or now if your DP agrees.

There isn't a 'perfect' time to have a baby. There will always be something which probably makes you think you should wait a bit longer.

If you want a baby, will be able to support and look after properly, then why not?

I had a baby at 18. Me and my OH only had one holiday before, didn't live together when I got pregnant, but things worked out and I think everything is perfect now. Everyone says I was too young and ruined everything but I have the rest of my life. I just did things different to my friends. I wouldn't change it for the world.

You still have your whole life. There is no point in trying to plan life, anything could happen at any time. If you feel happy and ready, go for it.

Actually I think there can be a perfect time. I've been broody pretty much my entire adult life but I wanted to be financially ready for a baby which meant being a homeowner and in a good job. So here I am, 33, married for 8 years and have been TTC 9 months. For me, it's taken a while to find my perfect time, granted I may have done it sooner knowing what I know now but really, I have no regrets about the life I've enjoyed upto now. A year isn't a long time to wait in the grand scheme of things and you're young too. Enjoy life with your partner, book a holiday, have something to look forward to. X

Sorry. I've been TTC for 11 months. Lol. See. Time flies!! 🙃

Must say though, my TTC journey has been nothing but smooth. I had a mmc in February at 10 weeks.

Well the thing is up until a few days ago, you both agreed to wait a few years, save some money and have some more like experience. It's a big decision, and I think it's fair enough of him to say how about next year- you've only felt broody for a couple of days.

You're probably just ovulating and that's making you broody! Honestly, I would wait a couple of years. You're so young - and there's no going back once you've had a baby. I fell pregnant at 25 and I feel I was too young, I wish I'd had a few more years of freedom. Have two more years of being carefree, and the rest of your life after that to be a mum.

When we were TTC #1 I didn't feel broody at all. It just felt like the natural thing to do after we got married. It was really odd.

I'm currently pregnant with DC#2 and I absolutely yearned for this baby. It took a long time to get my husband on board (almost a year) and during that time it almost physically hurt that I didn't have another baby and may potentially never due to DH's reluctance.

Yes you are young but there are a lot of advantages to having them young and I don't think being young should be a reason to not TTC if you are otherwise happy in your relationship.

Just talk openly with how you feel and take it from there.