Convincing hubby!

[Karpuzkiz]

Help ladies with your wise words! I have a little girl who will be 3 in September and I feel very ready to start trying for baby number 2.

My husband however seems not to be on the same page. He definitely wants another child but he feels worried about what we will do when returning to work with two children and how we will get our little girl to school when the time comes.

I've tried to explain that we are still going to have the problem of working out how to get her to school and somehow everything all works out, but he's still not convinced.

We both work full time and at the moment my daughter goes to a childminder 2 days a week, 2 days with my dad and 1 day with my mum, so he's also worried if we can expect my parents to look after another!

I don't really want to ask for 'permission' as such from my parents to try for another child where as I think that's what he wants!

Any advice on how I can convince him the right time to just go for it?! Otherwise I might have to just get him drunk (kidding of course!)

Xx

He does have a point about your parents, it isn't fair to just assume they'll take on another. 2 is a lot harder than one.
I think you need to figure out the logistics of how it will all work to get him on side. For example when our oldest starts school I'm changing my hours so I start early and finish early so I can do pick ups. DH will be able to drop offs. Or can you afford wrap around care? Your DD will be starting school before you know it so it's worth working it all out.

We would be able to afford childcare we would just have to make a few adjustments - I think I'm a bit more like we don't know what we will be able to do now and she won't start school for another 2 years so somehow we'll work it out. She will also get the 30 hours childcare from December too so she will go into a pre-school too so not so bad on my dad as he would only have half days then.

I just don't know how I feel about saying to my parents this is what we're thinking of trying for a baby as if they said anything negative I'd feel awful then!

I just really want another little baby and everyone seems to just be having them and there's me trying to think too much not having one.

He has a very good point about childcare - having a child and expecting someone else to look after it just isn't on.

My sister used my mom for childcare for DS1 and my mom really struggled. When my sister got pregnant with DC2 the first thing my mom said was, "Don't expect me to look after it!" My sister was shocked as obviously she'd just assumed my mom would carry on as before and it caused a lot of problems. Ultimately my mom did end up doing some of the childcare because there was no other option and it caused a lot of rifts and family resent.

I have a 3 year old and am pregnant with number two and I would never ask or expect a family member to provide regular childcare for them.

If you are expecting your family to look after another child for you then I absolutely think you have to involve them in the decision making. You can't make such decisions on their behalf and just expect them to go along with it.

Aside from that though....

It took me almost 12 months to convince DH that we should try for a second baby as he also had lots of reservations so I understand what it's like to feel that upset and frustration about potentially not having another child when you want one so much

If the main issue with your DH is the childcare aspect then you need to sit down together and try and find a solution that doesn't involve relying on family. I hope you do find an answer and that you get your wanted second baby