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Conception

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TTC anxiety

4 replies

karategirl · 25/06/2017 18:09

I feel like I'm going mad at the moment.

My husband and I have always planned to have children at some point, and I recently had my implant removed. At the moment, we're using condoms.

Since my implant was removed, I seem to have become more and more obsessed with starting to try to get pregnant. I'm noticing pregnant women everywhere, constantly calculating when our baby would be due if we fell pregnant this month, what if we have issues getting pregnant, or I miscarry. I'm stressing about what will happen when I go on maternity leave, since I'm the main earner, so I'll have to go back to work pretty quickly otherwise we won't be able to pay the mortgage. Also, how my career will affect my relationship with my children - and how will I balance the two. Whether my husband will give up work to be a SAHD, or will we use a childminder.

We're planning to build an extension and a new kitchen, and my husband is of the view that we shouldn't start TTC until it's been done. We don't have any solid plans yet, and we can't afford to do it at the moment so it could be another 2 years, if not more. I can see his point, but it feels like he's just trying to delay us starting our family.

I think he assumes that when we decide to go for it, I'll fall pregnant immediately, and I'm really worried that it won't. I'd like to have at least 3 children - and always have wanted a big family. I'm 28, and I feel like we've already left it too long, in case we do have issues.

This has all been made that much harder this week, since we discovered that both his step-brother and cousin are expecting babies in January.

I should add, that we've been together forever, he's super supportive, a truly modern guy who will be an amazing dad, and I know I can talk to him about anything, but I have a real habit of bottling things up.

I suppose I just needed to write this all down really, to acknowledge to myself that it's happening in my head. How do I discuss my anxiety with my husband, without sounding like a completely obsessed crazy person?!

OP posts:
Mrsjones17 · 25/06/2017 18:23

Ah yes everything you describe I would imagine most of the people on here would agree also have the same anxieties and worries and would tell you it's completely normal. However that doesn't make you feel better! I suggest trying to talk to him gently with one worry at a time if you can. My dh was convinced it would only take one shot...he didn't know you can only get pregnant at a certain time of the month etc however once we discussed it he was a lot better. He is always the relaxed on in the partnership, we are 7 cycles in of trying to TTC number 1 and he's been great. Always talk things through x

karategirl · 12/08/2017 16:13

I know it's been an age since I started this thread, so sorry for taking so long to reply. Thank you @MrsJones17 for your support. I managed to sit down and have a long chat with him a few weeks ago, and we've just started trying this month. Typically, this week is his annual volunteer week with a local charity, and happens to align exactly with when I'm ovulating! sigh Oh well. Hopefully it'll stick before the end of the year...

Loads of luck for a bfp for you very soon too!

OP posts:
Beckypea · 12/08/2017 17:17

Well katategirl I know exactly what you are going through. I am 33. Me and OH bought our first home almost two years ago. Starting talking babies last year which he started to freak out about a little, so we had a lot of long chats and I have kept on a bit... You know I'm 34 soon. So he has finally agreed we can start TTC. I want to start this month... He wants to start in October... But he won't tell me why, so I said meet me half way in September. Still going to try and and keep on for this month. My friend has also been TTC and went to her doctor as she is getting frustrated and there is a 7 month waiting list to see someone in our area.... So now I'm like freaking out even more.

Good luck to you both. Hope this will be the year for us!

Purpleiris89 · 12/08/2017 20:06

i feel your pain im the same over thinking everything. Its stressing me out which isnt helping. I just worry about everything. All i can think about is geting pregnant its taking over everything.

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