Total quandry

[Dolwar]

DH and I are TTC #1. Well...kind of.
I came off the pill in December, had a withdrawal bleed and only had 2 periods since, with cycles of 78 and 65 days.
In January and February we were actively TTC, but no BFP.
Then we had some awful news which has caused chaos in our lives and will not end until the end of July. So Feb-end of July we've barely DTD and not even TTC as it is all too stressful and we had enough on our plates. DH also took up smoking again due to the stress having quit in December as I refused to TTC whilst he was smoking (I appreciate not everyone will share my viewpoint, but that is it and it is completely irrelevant to this post).
DH is keen to start TTC again in August. I'm a little more hesistant for the following reasons:

1. We are in a huge amount of debt after the massive chaos
2. The way my both of our jobs work means a baby born in September/October/November is most ideal
3. I'd rather not have my child be the youngest in their year at school
4. My current job I am in until March involves radiation and it would be very obvious from Day 1 if I were pregnant even if I didn't want to tell anyone (my mum had 7 MCs so I'm rather nervous).
5. We live in the back of beyond on a farm so being heavily pregnant during February is not very practical

I know that if we started trying again in August, it might not happen until January. But then again it might. And if we put things off until January, things might not happen until July next year anyway.

I don't expect any answers. DH hasn't managed to quit smoking again yet anyway. I'll probably get abuse for trying to plan things too much, but only numbers 1 and 2 above are completely selfish reasons. I just needed to get it off my chest.

Gosh, that sounds very stressful. Sorry to hear you have had bad news.

I don't really have any practical advice, and as you already hint at TTC can take one month, six months, a year, 3 years etc. So its not really possible to plan with the amount of accuracy you are talking about here. I think you are saying you wouldn't want to plan for a baby born in July, August (for school reasons) or September, October, November for work reasons, and you don't want to be very pregnant in February (which you'd have to be for a baby born in February, March or April which are almost half of your "approved months"). In short, I think you are overthinking this part a little - I am not blaming you at all for this though, I have been doing the same!!

If everything is up in the air till July, I'd be tempted to give yourself a couple of months to relax/recover until TTC again. And also to try to pay off some of the debt? The debt would be the main worry for me.

I think it also depends what age you are, if you are 21 I'd say wait till after March when you've finished your current job, if you are 43 I'd say get cracking now!

Hope you work it all out x

Thanks. I know I'm over thinking it. Life is incredibly stressful at the moment and I kinda wanted a bit of time to relax before having to think about babies. But I'm in my early 30s so the clock is ticking. I also forgot to add I am the main earner, earning double what DH earns which adds to the financial stress of mat leave. A baby born in September- December is ok as it misses the worst of the winter and I could easily slot back into work the following September. I'm on a training programme that follows the school years you see.
I think it'll be unlikely to happen any time soon anyway as my cycles are still up the wall after coming off the pill. 78 and 65 days the first 2... third one now day 40 and no AF.
I guess I'll just have to see how it goes. Meanwhile Facebook is flooded with all our contemporaries and their children but for us the skips and builders arrive on Monday.