Why hasn't it happened yet? Feeling deflated

[MotherofBoy]

We are 26 and 28 ttc #2. Cycle 5 has arrived and I am still not pregnant. I know it can take some people many more months but I conceived DS on first attempt so was expecting to be pregnant by now at least! I don't understand why it hasn't happened? I am definitely ovulating as I chart and take opks. And we do dtd At the right time in the fw. Neither of us have any health problems and nothing in my chart suggests anything wrong. Just feeling very deflated as we are now into June! Two of my NCT friends are expecting babies in September/October after first attempt and an accident. Doesn't feel fair. I am worried why it hasn't happened as we are doing everything right. I have been very stressed lately but I thought that would only affect ovulation (it hasn't changed at all) and not conception. Sorry rant over.

Stop trying and just enjoy each other.
Dp and I tried for 10 years for #2 and I said enough was enough. I really started to relax and was happy in myself again (started having a life again) and then the impossible happened.
I know it's an "old wives tale" but it's not let anyone down yet. Enjoy life and make love spontaneously instead of charting and did.

Sorry DTD not did ...stupid phone

Easier said than done, but try not to worry. We conceived DS1 on our first month ttc. I assumed I would fall pregnant easily second time round but DS2 took 12 months. I was so busy with work and Christmassy stuff the month I got pregnant that I didn't really have time to worry about not being pregnant yet iyswim. Decided I'd ring the doctors just after Christmas as it had been a year; did a test just to be sure I wasn't pregnant and there was a line. Three days earlier there hadn't been so I was convinced it wasn't going to happen that month either.

Good luck to you

Ah it's tough isn't it :( ive just failed cycle 7 and planning cycle 8.

Unfortunately I can't do the lie back and relax thing but fingers crossed it'd work for you!

Don't even get me started on fair... ttc number 1 for 15 months. 2 chemical pregnancies...

I do hope it happens soon for you. Nothing about this process is easy or fair. My two chemicals - the only people I've known to fall pregnant while I've been ttc fell pregnant with very little effort within the same month!

Maybe a visit to the infertility thread would make you feel better by giving some perspective??

Dd was an unplanned surprise. It took me 9 months to conceive Ds. Everyone seemed to be getting pregnant all around me and we weren't. Decided to stop trying as it was getting to me and I promptly fell pregnant!

Try dtd every other day from the end of your period until you get your next one, or a bfp. Sometimes you just need to do it more!

Thanks kate - I do know that 5 months really isn't that long in scheme of things and I know I can conceive as I have DS. Do know I have a lot more than most.

I really am not the lying back and relaxing type. I am a constant planner and organiser I think which is why I find ttc so challenging as there is so little you can control! I did take it steady for first couple of months but then started temping etc. I think if I wasn't doing it I would feel much more frustrated and stressed as wouldn't know what was going on - knowledge is power and all that.

We do dtd a lot in fertile window (and obviously we dtd outside fertile window too!) we average 4/6 days of fertile window and always dtd on ov or day before. I don't think it's lack of dtd that is an issue at all!

More I think about it it is probably due to stress and everything else going on meaning optimum conditions are not met. I know I don't drink enough which can't be helping cm, I have been eating crap lately due to stress (though am not overweight or obese) and haven't been sleeping well due to it all and am sure all these contributory factors make a difference. Have vowed to drink more water, eat more healthily and hope for the best! I am also doing hypnotherapy tapes for the sleep which help. Dh has agreed to take vitamins if we get to 6 months with no luck.

Some of my stress should be easing now as I sat my last exam for professional qualifications on Friday. That definitely wasn't aiding a relaxed mindset!! But we are also trying to move house which is immensely stressful. I suppose I just have to hope that it will happen when it is the right time...

Thanks for all your replies though, it is nice to have some company when you are wallowing!

Hi Motherofaboy,

Do you have regular cycles and if so how long do they last? Because depending on that you may be ovulating at different times.

Because I have very short cycles which meant I got a little confused when first trying, about when I was actually ovulating. Despite the internet and countless people on forums telling me I couldn't get pregnant straight after my period, it was in fact straight after my period that I conceived (I must have ovulated maybe two or three days after my period) and the midwife agreed looking at the dates and calculating my cycles. Unlikel, yes...but possible? Also yes. But due to the fact everyone was telling me it was "impossible" to get pregnant close to after your period I actually wasn't bothered about sex for three to four days after I stopped a bleed when that was in fact my most fertile time!

If I was you I'd do a bit more digging to really get to know your body. Maybe try using OPKs to see when you're ovulating? And the best advice that I've seen a lot of women say on here is, enjoy yourselves and all the sex!

OP - the year we started ttc no 2 I was really stressed at work January to March. Then DS1 didn't get into our village primary school in April so I was stressed about his school place from April to June, when the appeal hearing was, which we lost. Then we put our house on the market in July and the process went on until we moved in the middle of November. I got pregnant in the December, when all the things which had been stressing me out all year had been sorted or had finished. And as the run up to Christmas was so busy (but not stressful busy) I didn't really have time to worry about it all that month. So stress is definitely a huge possibility! I also had a glass of wine or two almost every night in December, whereas I'd been really good in the preceding months and hardly had anything.

millie that sounds exactly like my life atm! Multiple stresses! Hopefully when the stress has gone baby will come :)

Thanks for replying jessy. I have regular 28 day cycles with ovulation on day 14/15. I know exactly when I ovulate as I use opks and chart my temperature as well as cm and cervical position. It's bang on time every month! So I know that timing isn't the issue here.

Even if both people are very healthy, it can take up to a year. You just need to accept that you can't control that. Or assume that just because you already have a DC, you won't encounter problems when ttc #2 ( obviously no reason whatsoever to suspect any problems).
Good luck finding patience and getting pregnant :)

Mother so sorry you're feeling down about it... just because you're ttc #2 it can be just as tough and you want it just as much. I started a new thread earlier hoping to chat to people also ttc #2 as it is a bit different for us I suppose, we are already so lucky, and it can be hard sometimes on the buses and other threads to say how you're feeling when you know there are some who are struggling ttc their first... good luck this month :)

X

Anyone ttc baby #2 in July?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2952287-anyone-ttc-baby-2-in-july