9 months of trying...

[Nala40]

This is the first time posting on here as we promised ourselves we weren't going to be that couple that spoke nonstop about 'trying'. I came off the pill 9 months ago and we have been TTC since then- but nothing. It's got to that point where i'm convincing myself we can't conceive or that there's a problem- any help? Advice?

My best friend has just conceived after 11 months of trying she was about to make her 2nd trip to the doctors to talk about tests etc. It can take a normal healthy couple between 6-12 months sometimes longer.

Are you temping or doing OPK's at all? Try not to worry just yet. Fx it happens for you soon x x

nala I agree with what sunshine says - I thinks it quite common for ttc to take a while, but people just don't tell you about it so you go round thinking 'when I have unprotected sex I will get upduffed' and clearly that's not quite true.
I've been trying for a while too and am on a ttc PMA thread (positive mental attitude to bfp) if you fancy joining us ... quite a few ladies on the thread took over 12 months and some have now got their bfp.
You'd be welcome to join us if you need some support xxx

Have you been tracking your ovulation and having lots of sex when the time is right? How old are you? Are you both healthy, i.e. No smoking, very little alcohol, healthy diet etc. If you're young and healthy, your cycles are very regular, there isn't random spotting etc, then I'd be tempted to do a test or two, e.g. Semen analysis + an ultrasound + some blood tests for yourself. If you're older or overweight or smoke etc, then getting pregnant can take a lot longer. Having said that, it might be worth doing some tests if only to confirm that you're ok and need to try for a little longer.

It took two years to conceive DS. We were actually on the verge of giving up for a time as it just wasn't happening and we get married this summer. However I now have a 9month old gorgeous lump of fun.

It's because you're told so much as youngsters that getting pregnant is so easy when you're not using contraception. It bloody isn't it appears. Postivity helps your state of mind, I spent too many months sobbing when AF turned up. It won't speed up the biology but it helps you cope.

Thanks everyone- its really reassuring to know that we're not on our own! I'm 28, husband is 31- both fit, healthy, probably drink a little more than we should at the weekend but we're not alcoholics! I'm not sure what PKS is...new to all this...did some ovulation tests but nothing came up and I freaked out- this month is the first month that AF has been exactly on time...every other month it has been 35/40 day cycles!

Ds took 4 years to conceive. We had totally given up hope after 3 years and then a year later I was sat on the floor trembling with a bfp in my hands. He's now 3 and I'm 20 weeks pregnant with ds2 who took 7 months to conceive. Like others have said, getting pregnant is not easy. We used the clearblue ovulation tests after six months of bfn. First cycle of using them I fell pregnant so I definitely recommend them! Good luck x

Your second post changes things a lot. If your cycles are that long, then you should go straight to the doctor's as you're likely to have some hormonal problems. Also, if ovulation tests haven't returned anything, you might not be ovulating regularly. If you don't ovulate, it is impossible to get pregnant. In addition, drinking more than 1-2 drinks in one go is very bad for conception and especially your husband's sperms would be affected. Given the info in your second post, it would be a good idea to cut right back on the booze and see a doctor.

@Nala40
How often are you having sex and when?

@Nala40
I used ovulation tests the first time I was ttc. The first month I used them, they were all negative but I actually got pregnant that month 🙄. Also a 35 day cycle might be a normal variation. You're 28, time is on your side and most people get pissed on the weekend.

When I last looked, 84% of people trying to conceive do so in the first year (and you've got a bit longer before you 'count'), and of the 16% who don't, half conceive in their second year of trying - the reason I know this is that it did take us longer than a year, but we didn't go for tests, knowing that there was a 50 % chance the second year - DD was conceived after 16 months.

Also, depending on which pill you've come off, it might take a while for things to settle down - I had been on Cerezette, and one nurse suggested it would take 2-3 months for things to return to normal, and it did indeed take about that long for me to get regular periods.

In short, don't worry just yet!

Perhaps try the Glow app for fertility tracking (or one of the many other fertility trackers). I found it really helpful for understanding when I was fertile.
I also second previous posters' advice to use OPKs. For someone who likes to feel in control of things they are really good. Don't freak our because you had difficulty getting a positive. Just buy loads of cheap test strips off Amazon - they do exactly the same as the expensive branded ones - and just start testing early in your cycle, then keep going until you get a positive. You might ovulate late or early, compared to other women.
If you find the testing stressful then don't bother though. There is a method out there that is designed to maximise the chance of conception. It's fairly simple - you start having sex every other day starting from the end of your period and then continue doing so until you're likely to have ovulated. There is a bit more detail to it, so looking it up online might be useful. Unfortunately I can't remember the name for the life of me, but maybe others can help out.

My DH and I were having sex every other day for about 9 months. Then, a friend of mine said "have sex everyday for 7-8 days after you period has finished. We had sex 10 times in 8 days and I am now 8 weeks! I was absolutely convinced I'd missed my ovulation too. We were knackered and vowed not to do it again! We are in our mid 30s

I'm nearly two years, no BFP yet. Don't loose hope, I haven't xx

I'm just at this stage now myself. Had a cry yesterday but picked myself up. Decided to buy "proper" clearblue ovulation tests, preseed lube and low dose aspirin for this month. Fuck it I'm going for it this month.

Does anyone oh/DP use supplements? Mine wants to see the evidence behind it before bothering 🙄 men....

We have sex every other day. I admire folk who can go everyday! Fair play to you @Thingymaboob

Hiya! @Hippychic18 hope you are well. Glad the PMA is going strong!

I've also picked up my exercise game, it's s fab distraction and I need to loose a stone ideally before getting pregnant.

Good luck everyone xxx

I ordered my DH to take supplements. Vitamin e and selenium are very effective at improving sperm motility and quality. There's a lot of research out there which shows an improvement. I did a lot of research and found the best all rounder was "ultra man" by holland and Barrett. It's got lots of everything. He started taking this and we got pregnant 3 months later...

Supplements are very helpful for sperm health. If he's interested in evidence get him to google it.

OP there is a support thread called TTC 10 months + if you'd like to join, we understand the tough parts of TTC for longer! I'm sure nobody will mind if you join after 9 months rather than exactly 10.

35-40 days isn't too bad for cycle times. 40 is a little longer than ideal, but not terrible and a variance of up to 5 days is normal.

What you may want to do is work out when you ovulate which you can either do by taking your temperature every morning before you get out of bed (google "basal body temperature" for more information) or by taking ovulation tests every day or twice a day from the tenth day after your period. It can be easy to miss the surge as it only lasts a few hours. BBT will only tell you in retrospect when you ovulate but if you do it for a few months you should see patterns emerging. Ovulation tests (OPKs) tell you in advance so you can make sure to have sex at the right time but can be less accurate.

Various apps around for tracking fertility but don't use Ovia if you're serious about wanting to know when you ovulate as it doesn't calculate it very well.

Hey emh and skipper xxx

We will get there ladies xxx

Thanks @Thingymaboob I'll get him those. He's not great at taking any sort of medication but he will try this as it's important to me, even if he's not 100% convinced :)

Hope you are doing ok @Nala40 :) lazy Sunday here!