Is it ever the right time?

[MrsB65]

Hi all,

I've been lingering for a while and finally plucked up the courage to start a thread.

I'm 27, husband will be 29 this year. Been married for 2.5 years and recently moved to a family sized home.

We've been talking for a few months about starting a family. Husband is super keen however I'm more hesitant. I'm worried that now just isn't the right time but also question whether there is ever a right time.

I'm also very low in confidence as I've never really been around babies and young children however my husband has (he has 9 nieces and nephews!). We were at my BIL's last night (has a 2 week old) and my husband was talking to them about measurements for milk and best way to feed from a bottle- I LITERALLY had no idea what they were talking about. Is there a lot of support out there for first time mums with no clue of how to look after a baby?

I can't work out whether my whole "issue" with starting a family is really a confidence thing and not really to do with it about being in the right time. Any advice out there? I would massively appreciate it!

TIA x

From talking to friends with children it's never the right time, I always wish I could have a happy accident and have the decision taken out of my hands.

You will grow as a parent as your child grows don't worry about not knowing anything your maternal instinct will kick in.

It's never the right time! Whenever you have a baby it will change your life.

But also, it doesn't matter how many babies you have been around and how many books you have read. You ALWAYS learn how to do things for the first time when it's you having the baby. And every baby is different! Parenting is all about learning on the job. You can't learn any other way. It is the most terrifying exciting yet wonderful thing. And you do have 9 months to get used to the idea first NCT and other antenatal groups are great for learning the basics. Places like mothercare hold expectant parent events with talks on baby safety, car seats, sleep etc. There's lots out there if you look

No not at all. Do you actually want a baby though? I can't tell reading you're OP. I was like you, I had never even held a baby until I had DS. Didn't have a clue what I was doing. Day 2 my midwife asked if I had brothers and sisters I said yes 4 and she said ah, you can tell you're a natural. Only, they are all older than me!

Posted too soon.

As for support your HV will come round quite a bit when the baby's first born. You'll be fine.

Thank you so much all.

Had a long conversation with the husband tonight which, along with your advice has reassured me. I have to keep telling myself that millions of woman have children having no idea how to look after them but still manage to be amazing mothers!!

Also if you have that many nieces and nephews, then there must be pretty knowledge people in your family. Hopefully, they'd be able to offer some advice. It would be good to work out whether you are ready otherwise, though, as you don't sound that convinced...

When I realised I wanted a baby, I was 30 and I wanted one BADLY. At 27 I had no interest at all. How's your career at the moment? Are you thinking that it might be better to wait because of that?

It's never a right time.. getting pregnant might take a while and there is nothing worse than not being able to have one when the time is right.
I don't have kids yet and I have no idea what to do with babies, but I know my baby would be completely different to me than others and I hope I will be a good mother. Relax and try it naturally, it'll all turn out good and you will know what to do.