How do you...

[Sharl2017]

Deal with other people's pregnancy announcements?
I'm struggling at the minute, as in February I lost my pregnancy early on and as a result the doctors found I have a large ovarian cyst which I need to have surgery for next month.
A colleague has now announced her pregnancy, she's twelve weeks and it works out to roughly when I got my BFP.
AIBU thinking I should be the one to announce my pregnancy and not be the one waiting for surgery to remove a cyst from my ovary? I dont wish any ill on her, and wouldnt wish this cyst or any of its symptoms on anyone.... i guess im just jealous and need somewhere to vent.

Hi. I had a miscarriage in February too after trying for 2 years. I still have my bad days and I do find it hard seeing other people's announcements. My partners sister got pregnant accidentally shortly after I lost my baby and I found out a few weeks ago. I broke down crying when I heard but not because I'm angry at her but because I feel so sad for myself. I feel sad for the future that will never be, for the planning etc. So yeah I do understand how you feel.

For a second, on first reading I thought I had written the original post!

Sharl I am in a similar position. I had MC early March and they found a large cyst. As the weeks go on I'm finding it harder to cope with and the symptoms from the cyst are getting worse. I don't know about you, but I feel like it's made the MC so much more difficult to overcome.
I'm glad you're having surgery so soon. I haven't even had my appointment with gynaecology yet so I have no idea how long I'll be waiting for surgery (average wait in my area is 22 weeks!).

As for handling peoples pregnancy announcements, I don't think there is an easy answer. It's shit. I smile through gritted teeth and then rant to my dh. I don't even feel bad for my feelings. I'm very jealous of those who are lucky enough to conceive easily and have a straight forward pregnancy. But then I look at other areas in my life that I'm happy with, and know that some of my friends would love to have what I have - and that helps me deal with some of the pain. In some ways i'm very fortunate x

That's exactly it. I'm not jealous of her as such. It's the thought that it should be me aswell.. It's doesn't help that with my cyst I look pregnant half the time too
I'm hopeful our time will come, it's probably annoying me more because my consultant told me to stop ttc until after my operation when actually all I want to do is carry on!
Sorry for your loss rainbow

forever hopeful It's mainly because when I get the looks of 'are you pregnant' looks I'm thinking 'Well I'm meant to be' ha... then yesterday I also found out the pregnant girl wasn't actually ttc either so I just sat there smiling trying to conceal everything going through my head. 🙄

Omg that is such a long wait! Hope they don't keep you waiting too long and you get good news at your next appointment

Do you mind sharing how big your cyst is? I feel like mine is massive, but at every scan that shows it's growing, no one seems concerned!
I have a 10.5cm dermoid on one ovary and a 2cm endo on the other ovary. Feel like I'm carrying around a bowling ball! Not slept properly in weeks either as can't get comfortable.

I was told at first scan that I had to stop ttc as I'd likely need surgery - i found this heartbreaking. But my GP said to carry on. Oddly the news has not made me feel as happy as I thought it would ...I'm just not sure my body is in a very good place right now. Not only that but I'm so so bloated and my abdomen is so big that I can't see how a baby would fit in there.

Just think, next month you'll have had your op and by July you'll be in a much better place for it. xx

Does this mean that you will handle your future announcement differently to make sure you do not hurt anyones feelings?

Just wondering, been ttc for ages and to be honest if my time comes I'm going to shout it from the roof! Till then every announcement someone else makes fills me with dread slthough I'm happy for them.

Really weird feeling, isn't it?

forever mines 9cm in every dimension. Since they found it it hasn't grown... but also hasnt shrunk but the nurse and doctors where saying they tend to become concerned if it's over 6cm.. I waited about 8 weeks between scans but when they found it was the same size they decided to book the surgery which is about 8 weeks from that scan to the surgery date.
I feel huge with it. I can only wear leggings now but was even struggling with them yesterday. I've raided charity shops to get baggy tops so I can avoid the awkward glances. Most people know I'm having the operation now so it's not so bad but it's when it's someone you don't know or speak to much sees it 🙈

I did some reading on TTC with a cyst and it just said it might take longer so maybe the doctor was just trying to save me some heartache knowing that as each months passes by I'll be getting more and more frustrated with myself but afterwards I can get right back to it and have healthy ovaries which will make it easier. Like you with the size of it I'm not sure how a baby could grow and fit without the cyst bursting.

chinny I like to think so but noone knew I was TTC and obviously not many people tell anyone so as much as it would be nice to be sensitive I'll probably be joining you on that roof top haha.
It is weird. The girl who told me yesterday, I don't even get on with that well but instantly I was so so excited for her.. then went back to sulk ha.
Very weird feeling.