Coping with the disappointment

[StaringAndSquinting]

Hoping to find some people here who can relate and maybe give me some advice. I know some of what I'm feeling is probably irrational. This month I was convinced I was pregnant. I had what I thought were some very faint positives but must have been wrong. AF arrived today. I had got so excited in my head and was imagining telling people etc.

Each month it doesn't happen I feel a wave of sadness and panic that something is wrong with me. When I told DH AF was here I thought he sounded disappointed. I wonder if he is privately wondering if there is something wrong with me. I am tracking ovulation etc. This was cycle 7 of trying.

Each month I'm taking early tests, getting my hopes up, symptom spotting, thinking about it all the time. I need to get some perspective. I feel scared of needing tests and intervention and I feel like I'm letting people down.

I don't know what else to say really just wanted somewhere I can talk honestly as I am keeping a brave face on in RL and we haven't told anyone else we are trying.

I think a lot of people share this with you. TTC is tough, and I don't think at all you are being irrational (I am still furious that the idea I was given in sex education was that first time you had sex you would get pregnant!).

8 months is very early still, but could you start to gently have tests so you start to feel more in control of the situation? That is helping me.

Good luck, and be kind to yourself x

@StaringAndSquinting You are definitely not alone in your thoughts. We have been trying for a second child for 3 years, I had a MMC early this year at 12 weeks and my periods have only just returned. I have been referred for scans and blood tests etc and they have found cysts which could potentially mean something but then again could not. Now i know i can have children but the worry like you is there. I would suggest going to your Dr and they will start you off with blood tests etc That way you will feel like you are doing something about it and could get some answers rather than blaming yourself (when actually nothing could be wrong) Try and go easy on yourself x

I understand how you feel OP. I'm a proper symptom spotter and have convinced my self each month I am but after coming off the pill 7 mths ago, nothing has happened. I always prepare myself for AF but secretly hope I won't have to deal with it but then it comes as expected and I'm really disappointed.

I've also felt pressure (purely put on by myself) as my DM makes no secret that my DD only had to drop his trousers (tmi!) And my sil also got pg vv quickly so feel I've let the side down which is silly I know. Then I feel bad as I know it's still no time and there are people that have been trying much longer or suffered the pain of MC and I'm moaning about waiting 7 mths.

Not exactly sure what my point is here. Just a fellow poster who feels similar and wishes you good luck for a bfp v soon. My only advice would be to relax and stop worrying so much and also that im sure your DH is not thinking there is anything wrong with you. He is prob just looking forward to the time you tell him AF has not come as much as you are x

Thank you all it helps to know I'm not alone in this. I know there are many people out there who have been trying longer too and I'm trying to stay positive but finding it tough. I have two friends who have had accidental pregnancies recently. DTD once and they're pregnant. One said to me that maybe not getting pregnant is just because some people's bodies "aren't designed for that" which I found quite hurtful.

I just don't understand how we are having so much unprotected sex and doing everything right and nothing is happening! Thank you for your support. Does anyone know of any supplements are good to aid fertility?

Hi - I've been ttc for 6months and completely understand your frustration and feelings ... there's no denying that this journey can be a lot tougher for some people than others. I know it's hard but trying to relax about it is the best thing you can do - at the very least it keeps you sane. People can be very insensitive and although they may not mean it, their remarks can be very cutting. Don't let this become your problem - their rudeness is their problem. I've been on mn a while now and for every bfp I see on someone's first month of trying I also see stories like yours where people are doing everything they can and it's still taking a while. I also see ladies on here who return after long periods of time to report bfps after difficult journeys and the thing they all have in common is that they never gave up hope even when the journey got tough. I take Nutri advanced pregnancy multi vitamin which has folic in it, zinc, and fish oil tablet, my dp takes a Nutri advanced men multi vit, zinc and fish oil . If you get supplements get good quality ones. And I also do acupuncture which is helping keep me calm.
Good luck and if you need some support feel free to join thread Pma to bfp ... I'm on it and I'm bias - but there's some lovely ladies on there - some of whom have been trying for 6+ months xxxx

@StaringAndSquinting You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. Ttc isn't what I thought it was going to be like! I've been ttc for just over 2 years. I am only 24 and my partner is 26. We are attending a fertility clinic and so far all tests and surgery for me have came back absolutely fine. I got pregnant on my own January this year and miscarried at 7 weeks. I'm now scheduled for IUI in the summer. However I am 8 days late this cycle, I'm never late! I've had 2 faint positives so gonna see how that turns out in a few days. Keep your chin up and try not to worry that you might have a problem as that isn't the case all the time x