Am I mad or does anyone else feel this way?

[oliali7]

New to this so bear with me! have 9 yr old twins D & S and wanted another for years. For me, I feel almost cheated because loved being pregnant, couldn't do all the 'normal' things new mums can do becasue always needed 2 pairs of hands eg. swimming. I always wanted 4.
For D & S - have always been together, so sharing not issue, but have no conception of giving another, new person, love, attention etc etc - they love babies and I feel they are missing out.
From DH view - frightened of having twins again, monetary aspect of 3 and keeps going on about having to split whatever we leave between 3 rather than 2 (that really irritates me - live for today!).
Anyway clock is ticking v.fast and almost out to be honest (41) but my question is am I mad to feel like this - do others feel this way - is it the onset of the menopause! would I be mad to go back to sleepless nights etc
Views greatly appreciated

have you actually discussed having another one serioulsy with your DH to see if he is adamant about not wanting one?

I left it until my dd's were 13 and 11 and had another one. She has brought sunshine into all our lives..and i have just got bfp last week, so looks like no.4 is on the way.

I would recommend it - babies are lovely!

Oh yes - discussed at great length - he thinks i'm being selfish - he suggested that I ask my M &D what they thought. He did find the baby stage very hard - but twins! it wasn't sharing and enjoying it was both doing - so he's thinking back to that. also i had pre-eclamp (fairly normal with twins) and he worries about that. nothing positive comes out really - but I just love your view which is how I see another child. thanks - any suggestions

Still trying for #1 but all I can say is please don't hold back just beacuse their "inheritance" may be split 3 ways.
Most people don't have anythign to leave children and it wouldn't harm them at all.

oliali - your twins ae old enough to be able to help out...they would get the joy of being older brother and sister to a baby...

I guess your hubby (and especially you) had it hard first time round, but that doesn't mean it would be like that again.

Try and think of all the pro's and cons and sit him down again...tell him you really want to have talked it out before time is up...

Good Luck!

FC2007 - good luck on 1st - I should feel lucky to have been doubly blessed with twins already - I am - I just need more and agree with what you say.
Mto3 - agree with all you say - i think I will do a pro/con sheet so I don't forget all the pro's. Thanks - I suppose I'm getting myself in a state because of the time issue and start feeling resentful - but then again is that childish - i sort of feel like I'm stamping my feet to get my own way

oliali, i am sorry to hear how your husband feels about babies especially if you are brooding the way you seem to be.I think he is selfish, as after all he is not the one who will be looking after them.Maybe if you persist try to talk to him, he may change his mind?

i had number four after a gap eldest was 10.5 youngest 6 and he has brought sunshine love and laughter into our lives
since had another and love the differing ages
its so much easier with subsequent babies

I had dd 12 years after ds (2nd relationship)
She is WONDERFUL, and it wasn't at all difficult when she was very little.

Babies are wonderful, and when you know it's your last you can just enjoy them so much. Think of that new baby smell........

I had dd 12 years after ds (2nd relationship)
She is WONDERFUL, and it wasn't at all difficult when she was very little.

Babies are wonderful, and when you know it's your last you can just enjoy them so much. Think of that new baby smell........

Thank you

all very reassuring - did anyone watch the pogramme last night on 10 and more children?? DH came in half way through and by end he was saying he felt rather silly dithering over a 3rd - we'll see how silly he feels ... it certainly made me feel better as did all comments from you lot

You are totally normal! I have alwys had assisted conception and had a gap of 2 1/2 years between child one and child two. Emergency caesarians both time. Managed to presuade hubby to let us try for number three, the gap this time was a further 6 years! I loved being back with a baby again! It felt so special and was good for him too. You have more time to give, because the others are older, and they also help out! Later they can play with the baby. Of course you might have risk of twins, if you had before and you would need to know and chat about all possibilities, but I can really recommend it! Especially as you get older, I think you are calmer, after all you have done it all before!
To be honest I would like another (youngest is now 5)
I wish you luck!