TTC 9 months and very disheartened

[Trickymiss14]

Hi all

I'm sure many many of you will have been trying much longer and are rolling your eyes at me now but My partner and I have been trying for a baby since July last year and I have several factors that are likely affecting my fertility (endometriosis, PCOS and a bicornuate uterus) and it seems like since we've started TTC the world and his wife just think about having a baby and are pregnant. A work friend told me today that she is pregnant and I burst into tears and had to explain myself.. I felt so bad because I was really happy for her but felt awful for myself.. I have turned into some selfish baby crazy monster and I hate it. My brother is also having a baby and he and his wife keep complaining about how awful the pregnancy is.. And as I haven't told anyone other than the poor work friend today I feel so lonely and isolated... Even, to some extent with my partner as we have had a semen analysis done and that has come back completely normal, so I feel completely useless and like I am letting us both down.. sorry to vent but I really feel like I have no one to talk to x

I'm sorry you feel so crap atm tricky. I have been ttc since July too but have had a nightmare coming off the pill. It's taking ages for my hormones to sort themselves out.

I find talking on the threads here really help as I don't want to be midering DH all the time.
I'm still trying to relax about it all and thinking it will happen when it's meant to be but it's always at the back of my mind, what if there's something really wrong.

It seems everyone is able to conceive really easily but I guess people just don't talk about it if they can't irl.

Keep strong my love and vent on the threads here if you need them as everyone is really supportive of each otherxxx

It's awful Tricky, I understand exactly how you feel (((hugs))) We're in Cycle 6 now of TTC #1 and I just feel completely hopeless, every month is heartbreaking.
Even though this month I'm currently so gassy, have heartburn, horrendously sore boobs and extreme thirst I'm still convinced I'm out as I've had 'symptoms' every single cycle and it never happens.
My 39th Birthday is next month and I'm dreading it as I can't bear the thought of being another year older.
Also my bestie at work is pregnant (she started trying the same month as us) and has her scan on Wednesday then will be telling everyone else at work and even though I'm so so happy for her, she's gorgeous and lovely and going to be a great mam...I still feel absolute dread at the next 6mths being all about her pregnancy every day at work which makes me feel like a horrible horrible person. She's so low key about it too and I know it's probably because she knows we're struggling and that makes me feel worse because she deserves to be excited and shouting it from the rooftop. My only saving grace is outwardly I've always presented the very excited and happy side of me for her - just need to hold it together next week! Xx

Tricky Miss, have you spoken to a fertility specialist to check if you have much chance conceiving naturally?

Im 8 cycles ttc now and totally feeling disheartened by the fact we haven't caught yet tricky.

I know that we are early in out journey but it definitely feels like its never going to happen. Have you tried talking to your doctor about it all?

Would you like a 9 months TTC happy ending story, or would that make things worse for you right now?

Hi tricky sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. As JoJo said have you seen a fertility specialist? We have been trying ttc #1 for more than 15 months and went to see our GP after about 6 months of trying to get referrals. It's slow but I finally feel like something is happening and we are in with a real chance. I have low ovarian reserve and time is running out. I'm currently on clomid to help me ovulate but still no BFP I know exactly how you feel about everyone around you getting pregnant. Since we've started this journey friends and colleagues who weren't even ttc have already had their babies and we're still ttc! Big hugs and sending lots of babydust xx

Thank you lovelies for your kind replies. Have been to see my dr and had the day 21 blood test (that due to my long and irregular cycles was more like day 30) back in October and it showed I ovulated that month, which is good, went back to see him this week and discovered that unfortunately I can't be referred to a fertility specialist until 2 years of TTC because of the county I live in which took me back a bit as that literally means (as far as I understand) no clomid or anything until then unless I go private which I can't really afford.. He has referred me for a 'lap and dye' test to look for blockages but due to my endo I've already had 2 laparoscopys and really don't want a 3rd so I'm hoping they'll just do a hysterosalpingogram instead. A 9m TTC happy ending story would be wonderful to hear please xxx

I know exactly how you are feeling. We started trying last April, in between then and now DH has been seriously ill and I've been ill and even the months we havent been trying I've managed to convince myself it could possibly be that month. I've had 9 friends announce pregnancies since Christmas and just found out SIL is pregnant. I'm really excited for them but feel shit myself, especially hard as I've just had another birthday, my medication has made my cycles irregular, I'm not even convinced I'm ovulating at all now and DHs medication causes problems in the bedroom too. Just feels like everything is conspiring against us having a baby right now.

Well, we TTC for 8 months before I decided to give up, and on the 9th month, I got pregnant. I'd started a brand new job and we'd moved to a one bedroom flat, which I believe is called Sod's Law. Perhaps you need to invoke that somehow? Oh and the 9th month gave us an EDD of 25/12, which was just great

Second time TTC and I expected things to take a long time again, so went for the minimum age gap I could cope with. Very half-hearted DTD (twice in a month, I think?) and it happened straight away what's that all about?

I don't know what the moral of the story is, but I do know how you're feeling right now. 9 months feels like an absolute lifetime when you're desperate, so much so that it's hard to imagine having to wait any longer, as so many people sadly have to.

I hope you can take heart from my happy ending, despite the awkward circumstances!

Hi,

I have a 3 1/2 year later happy ending if helps!l?! I absolutely get how you feel right now. It took us 3 1/2 years, numerous tests and a diagnosis of 'unexplained infertility', 3 round of IUI and a failed IVF before we conceived our DD naturally.

It's such a hard process at times and every other person seems to get pregnant just by looking at their partner. But I'm a living example of the fact that it can sometimes just take a bloody long time. I'm sure it won't be the case for you but wanted to share that even when it seems that there's no hope, there's still a bit and it can all turn out for the best in the end. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't change things because of course I wish we hadn't been through such heartache but our dd means everything to us and she is only who she is because she was born when she was. It's hard right now but try and stay positive x

It's nice to hear some positive stories, I keep telling myself that it will happen when the time is right, but every month is hard. Just thought of a positive of DB and SIL having a baby first, potential hand me downs in the future! Doesn't make me feel much better but will keep trying to cheer myself up.

I'm 18 months now (21 cycles). I found the 9-12 month mark extremely difficult emotionally. I feel a lot calmer and patient now, probably because I have to be, and I'm fortunate in that I have friends and family who haven't got pregnant in the time I've been TTC. I should imagine that is pretty hard though.

It will get better for you, and remember most people do conceive within a year - you might just be the tail end of it. Don't feel useless, there just isn't enough known about female fertility unfortunately - it's shocking.

I get it. Hit the 12 month mark yesterday. Went to the gp feeling really unwell because of my second chemical a few weeks ago. I was hoping they'd offer some sort of test, maybe to check for low progesterone. He told me I'd have to have another miscarriage or wait another twelve months to get help... so I get it!

SIL already has two bearing secondary school, forgot one pill and got upduffed just after my first cp. she's due in a month or so. I'm finding that really difficult!

Ttc is shit. I've become a bitter and twisted cow. The gp tried to give me antidepressants instead of help me with a sodding blood test.

I get it.

Thats rubbish kate, my GP told me I mustn't ttc on my ADs, which incidentaly are whats messed up my cycles too. I did a literature review and found no evidence of any risk in early pregnancy though. Meh.

tricky why don't you join us on PCOS support xx we're a lovely bunch of girls. I've been TTC since 2012. Only started Clomid last year and still no BFP there are plenty of us on there that can offer you a guided hand xx

I was prescribed sertraline but only took it for a day... decided I'd rather try to change my life to make me happier. Changed jobs. Hasn't fixed me. I'm still not happy that we are still ttc... but I'm trying to just carry on! Planning events for the future (trips) has helped and really not helped. Gives me something to look forward to but also leaves me sad that we can actually go on them!! If that makes sense!

Sertraline is safe to TTC on. I've been through two pregnancies and breastfed on it, no ill effects.