TTC for the first time, I am already obsessing! Help!

[Jessybear90]

Hi all

I'm new to the forum and looking for advice. A little bit about me. I'm 27 years old and my partner is 30. We moved in together a year ago (rented) and we are just buying our first house. Now I've always known that I wanted children, but wanted to live my life a bit first and make sure I was with the right man. As soon as I met my current partner (after a history of nasty exes!) pretty much straight away I started to have these maternal urges. Early on in the relationship he said he wanted a family too. Then his brothers girlfriend got pregnant and that just threw things into overdrive for me and I started to really want one (buying baby stuff for her just made me feel deflated and teary). I have been on the pill for years and although I began to feel this huge urge I still carried on taking it until my partner was ready because he wanted to buy the house first. To my shock in the middle of January we were in bed and he asked me if I wanted to stop taking my pill, even thought we haven't got the house yet because he just said it felt right for him and he knew it was what I wanted too. I was over the moon and jumped at the chance and was very happy that I never had to ask him/pressure him at all. I've been on the pill for the best part of ten years and I have heard it can take a while to get out of your system. But I stopped taking it right away anyway. We took a really romantic trip over Valentine's and on the last day before going home my period made an appearance. I'm aware that it can take even healthy couples up to a year to conceive but so many women I know only have to miss one pill and boom, they're pregnant! I couldn't hide my dissapointment. The problem is, if I'm already like this only a few weeks in to TTC how am I going to cope further down the line?! Partner is a bit sore due to us being overly active in bed and has now said that he needs a week off sex which I completely respect but this has devastated me further as I was willing the week to go fast the week I was on my period and now this is the week I will be most fertile and we won't be having any sex which means it's very likely I'll see my old friend aunt flow again in the middle of next month, another month of disappointment!

I'm just freaking out a bit, as I don't know what's going on with me and my hormones, I'm just crazy about my partner and so in love with him, I just want to have his babies asap I know it's not a race but when you're TTC it seems everyone around you is pregnant. How long did it take you ladies to conceive? And has anyone got any tips on how to calm down and relax about it? We haven't bothered with charts/ovulation tests yet as I'm trying to save this for if we do actually struggle to get pregnant, for now I just want to keep it fun and have regular sex as we both enjoy sex anyway hehe. Thanks for advice ladies xxx

Hi Jessy, just wondering how you're working out your most fertile time? Totally understand not wanting to turn the whole thing into a sterile science project, but just on the off chance you're not ovulating when you think you are?

Hi RosieCat79

Thank you for your reply. Well I'm not 100% sure when I ovulate as I have been on the pill for years and the only time I think I've ever ovulated is when I have like a thick, clear, stringy discharge in my pants (sorry for the too much info!) sounds a bit tack but it's clear, and odourless and I can stretch it between my fingers and I've read that this is a mucus that is created to help sperm find the egg. I should mention though that I have ONLY ever experienced it the rare few times in the past when I've either forgotten or missed a few pills and once last year when I came off the pill for a few weeks and now again that I am off the pill for good. I have never experienced this while taking the pill solidly. I also have a very increased sex drive shortly after my period. I have a cycle of about 24/26 days, it feels quite short. I've only had one period since been off the pill as I've only been off for about a month. I believe it is called a "withdrawal bleed" however it came exactly the time my period was due, lasted about six days and to all intents and purposes did feel/look/arrive at the time to be just like a natural period which I'm hoping is a good sign things are working as they should be. Since day one of starting my period I have been regular and on time and I'm still regular while on the pill and nothing has changed now that I've come off. X

Hello. I am similar to you in age and situation. I came off the pill on Xmas, and had a withdraw bleed then a 34 day cycle... I ovulated on approx day 18. I used the ovulation sticks and temp readings. Only thing ill say about these is they show your hormone surge but doesnt mean a egg will be released.. Its the hormone that gives you the stringy discharge too but again, doesnt guarantee a egg! Not releasing a egg is quite normal, esp after birth control. Im currently going into cycle 3. Cycle 2 was 27 days with possible ovulation on day 13. I know its hard not to overthink and stress when TTC but just take the time to get to know your body. I was told to just go with the flow for 6-12months and gather some data (temps etc) while my body got itself up and running xx

I'll just add on to what Nature has written above and say that actually Temping is the only thing (other than the blood test your GP can do) that can tell you if you've ovulated. Whilst OPKS give you an indication that it's going to happen it's not a definite that it will happen, however if you get a thermal shift and sustained higher temperatures that is evidence that the egg has been released and the corpus luteum is producing progesterone.

I am on my third month TTC and I have decided to stop temping and doing opks as it was turning me in to a crazy obsessed woman and affecting my sleep. I already feel much better since stopping and my sleep has returned to normal. So whilst they are really useful tools to help you work out your cycle just be mindful of how much you are letting it take over your life. At the end of the day all you need to do to get pregnant is have lots of sex!

Hiya! Welcome!

I know this is so easy to say but try not to symptom spot or become obsessed! Would recommend getting to know your cycle a bit for the next few months learning what your ovulation signs may be (period trackers can be useful) and don't worry about DTD at the right times! I got pregnant when both me and DH were feeling rough and full of cold it wasn't bang on when it should have been in my mine and I really think it helped that I wasn't completely absorbed by ttc cos I was convinced it wasn't our month! And that was after 15 months of trying and very medicines and tests and also being certain I'd done it at the right time each month before that!

Good luck!

Echo others, just get to know your body. Stressing will make it hard for what could be a long journey.

I came off the pill on 5th Dec 2016, i had a 64day cycle before a 4 day AF which was frustrating! I am now on cycle 2, currently CD20 and not even a hint of positive on an OPK yet but then this cycle could be a long one too - who knows!

I can't temp, i get up very early but i always wake suddenly (sit up and scramble for alarm so i dont wake DP) when my alarm goes off and you are supposed to not move when you wake up. I also wake up and move a lot in the night which effects the results

Thanks ladies! This forum is such a great support network

It's so very hard not to be obsessive! My and OH are both healthy and happy so I'm hoping with regular sex it will happen faster for us.

I did warn OH that after coming off the pill (Milinette) that it would probably take my body at the very least 4 months get back to normal.

My periods are regular from the day I started and even now I've come off the pill, my period came at the normal time that it was due even though I didn't finish the full pack of pills for that month.

I'm going to make an attempt at enjoying this because it is very exciting! I should just count myself lucky that it was OH that asked me to come off the pill and he wants it as much as me.

Thanks for advice ladies you're all so lovely and make this all a much more positive experience

More than welcome, and good luck! Enjoy it ! 😉

Natures,

That's exactly what I should be doing, just enjoying it! I enjoyed alone time with OH anyway so really nothing should have changed for us at all, except the fact that I am no longer taking a pill every morning! I wish I could relax more!