Can't ever imagine it...

[GimmeSomeLuck]

Am I the only one who can't ever imagine being pregnant?

When I was young I imagined growing up, having a relationship, having a home & decorating, having a car, having a job... I imagined having kids but I couldn't then & can't now imagine being pregnant

I can't imagine what it's like to have an ultrasound.
Feel the baby move or kick.
Even labour...

I just feel like it will never happen & perhaps my brain knows that & that's why I can't imagine it.

I wonder if I'm the only one?

I've been trying for:

18 cycles altogether.
11 of those definitely ovulating.

I'm on CD 6 & every night since my AF this cycle I've cried.

It all feels pointless & hopeless.

Wondered if anyone else feels the same?

Hi hun. Please don't be sad. It's not just you who finds it hard to imagine all those things. He found it hard to imagine what it would be like holding my baby even when I was heavily pregnant. Doesn't mean you don't want it or its never gonna happen. Have you been to the Dr's to find out if there is a reason you haven't conceived? To check everything is OK with both you and Oh? Sorry I can't be of much help. I know that my mum and dad were trying for 10 years before they had any children and had been to docs etc and could find nothing wrong and then mum had 4 of us in 6 years so it can sometimes take a long time for no particular reason.

I've actually had the opposite to this OP, and it's just as devastating. I can clearly imagine a baby bump, having DH hold my hand in labour etc. But we have had fertility treatment with no luck and it hurts.

I think the feeling hopeless is 'normal' in this situation as you've been trying for a year and a half (assuming 28-31 day cycles) and the ups and downs are exhausting.

Have you had any tests etc?

The only advice I can give is to let the feelings out (cry / vent / excercise) because keeping it in is too hard (if it helps, I used to have hot baths and sob in them or walk the dogs stomp around in the rain like a crazy person until I felt calmer)

💐🍹🍷🍫🍩

Hi Emma & IsIt, thank you both for replying.

Yes, we have both been for tests - all normal. I'm not sure if that makes it easier (because everything was fine - always great news) or harder (because sometimes if there is a problem then there is sometimes an answer to the problem & a solution) at the moment I just feel in limbo.

IsIt, I'm sorry to hear you have been through unsuccessful Fertility Treatment - I hope that in time things do work out for you though it is a hard horrible time to go through & I thought it would be so full of joy.

But your idea of having a cry is exactly what I do - I sit in a hot bath & just have a me moment.

Thank you both