AF arrival rant....

[Millie9019]

I don't know if this belongs in the conception page but I need to rant and get stuff off my chest...
I came off the pill about 4 years ago and we were trying but its only been the last 2 years DH and I have been living together and trying. we had the wedding last year which was quite stressful at times so maybe not the best circumstances to try but we did anyway.
we used conceive plus for the first time last month and I had hoped that my period being 4 days late was a good sign, even with a negative test... I had my fingers crossed.... and then today....
my hopes are shattered once again....
and to top it off... AF is being the biggest bitch and I'm in pain. so much so, I'm off my work again with the risk of another disciplinary... (too many absences over 6 months)
I crumble every time she arrives... my DH says 'hopefully next time' but I don't know how many next times I can have.
I am scared of going to the drs... I don't think I could handle there being something wrong that cant be fixed (sounds so stupid I know but if there is something wrong that cant be fixed... I don't want either of us to blame the other or ourselves)
he already has a DS which means ivf is pretty much out of the question... we cant afford to go through it without winning a lump sum or something similar.
I just needed to rant as I keep seeing pregnancy announcements and ppl wont stop asking when we are having kids and its all getting a bit too much today....
typing this has helped me calm down a little and the heat from the laptop is helping my pain....
thank you for the voice mumsnet!
(ps... I type fast and I m rubbish at reading it back so I hope some of it makes sense....)

Aw so sorry you're feeling this way but feel free to rant away!! It's heartbreaking trying every month with no success. DH and I tried for 3.5 years to have DD. We were diagnosed with 'unexplained infertility' which I think I found harder than there being something wrong as there was no 'cure' for unexplained infertility. We went through one unsuccessful ivf cycle before conceiving naturally our DD the month after the ivf failed. So I guess what I am saying is don't give up hope even when it feels all hope is lost.

I know the tests are scary but I still think you're better off knowing what you're up against (if anything at all). I don't have any words of wisdom other than to say that I totally get how you're feeling and to say that a trip to the gp despite your nervousness might be a good next step. But at the same time I'm proof that there can be nothing wrong but it can sometimes just take forever.

Xx

Thank you for replying
I know theres so many success stories after 'unexplained infertility' and they give me hope...
I feel quite lonely at times as I don't have many friends and my family are a bit distant with this type of thing.
I know you are right about going to the gp... I just need to buck up I guess...
thank you.
(the rant helped me... more ppl should rant)

That was a great rant btw! You probably articulated very well how many women are feeling right now. Why is it that af is also more physically painful as well as emotionally when ttc? Always wonder about that one. Anyway, the long and short of it is this, you really need to get yourself to the GP. Chances are it may be nothing, something that can be easily rectified or something that needs a little intervention. Either way, you can't keep putting yourself through the not knowing what's going on every month. As welshmammy said you're better off knowing what, if anything, you're dealing with so you can take steps to reach your goal. This is tough love for you! Good luck, be brave, make the call!

I'm sorry you're having such a shit time at the moment. I echo what others have said about going to the Dr's as it may well be something they can sort... and at least you know where you stand. Also... AF is a stupid vile ugly bitch and I hope she fucks off for at least 9 months for you x