I swore I'd never do this, but faaaaark!

[GreedyDuck]

Is it a line? First proper cycle since mmc at Christmas. Could it be? I feel like af imminent, incredibly bloated, and thinking about it that's how I usually feel. Af not even due until Friday. Don't want to tell dp yet as it's his dad's funeral on Thursday and he's got enough on his plate.

Oh greedyduck that is the best news ever! Wonderful happy news. I don't know if you'll remember me but you helped me through my dark time during my MC in December too in fact so did you Littlemiss and Hullaballoo . Lovely to see you all here on this part of mumsnet :). I'm now in my dreaded 2WW, fingers crossed for all xxx

Aww I remember you apple You were all great support to me too, literally could not have got through that horrific time without you lovely people. How are doing?! Xxx

Littlemiss I am doing really well, feeling great and excited at the prospect of TTC again :) How are things with you? I'm on CD 22 and going to wait out till the 24th to test, fingers crossed.

I said the same to my husband too, if it wasn't for you wonderful women I would have been totally lost and falling, just wanted to say 'thank you' . xxx.

I have my fingers crossed for you apple. Really hope this is your month.
I tested this morning but it was negative, pretty sure I'm out this month xx

I believe the saying in these parts is that 'you're not out until af shows up', but if you are, then I hope that next month is your month Littlemiss.

Thank you appleseed I do remember you! December was rubbish really wasn't it. I couldn't have got through it without all of you either.

I had another squinter on a Superdrug pink dye test this morning. I have managed to convince myself that this is going to be a chemical (I had one in October as well, the month before my proper bfp).

Overall though I feel surprisingly calm. What will be, will be. I'm going to hold off testing again for a few days as I know obsessive testing makes no difference to the end result really.

Littlemiss sorry it's not worked out this month but fingers and all the luck for next. I just remind myself that I've been pregnant before. There's hope in that

Greedy I really hope it's a sticky bean. Definitely hold off a couple of days. Hopefully the lines will be darker next time and I agree. Obsessive testing actually I find makes it more nerve racking. Well done for keeping calm

It's just 'lucky' that my fil has just died and so I have something else to focus on, otherwise I'd be looting every Superdrug and Boots preg test shelf in a five mile radius.

I spent about £30 on bloody tests in November, I was obsessed with seeing those lines/crosses/weeks, and it was all for nothing in the end. If it sticks, it sticks, nine months goes slowly enough, without finding out early.

Why yes, I am trying to convince myself I won't be poas at 5am tomorrow morning!

I'm ploughing on, swinging erratically between thinking I can just let ttc alone and be content with my lot, to becoming demented in the 2ww.

It's great to hear you have got preggers again and I really hope that after all the heartache, this is your happy ending!

Thank you Greedy and Apple, I will keep plodding on. Af still not here yet, I just want it to come and go so I can move on to next month xx

Line! Congratulations mummy!

Hey greedy, little miss and apple, so grateful for your support over December, could not have gotten through it all without you all. I'm still quite fragile strangely. Not actively TTC really,I'm lurking here. 🙂DH still unsure about wanting another now... 😭 He feels pressured that I want another and he's the deciding factor... So I'm not checking cycle days, not have ovulation sticks or anything... Drinking caffeine.... But we dtd without protection this week and without him stopping to say...mm I'm not sure, so I'm a little more hopeful that we may join the TTC train. Having mmc had almost made me feel more calm as if... What will be, will be.... Fate will decide and made me less controlling in it all iyswim.. Super sticky vibes for you greedy xx

Aww it's nice to hear from you Hula. It has all been such a rollercoaster of emotions hasn't it. One day at a time though. Hopefully your dp will come round when he's ready.
One mn user I do remember from our mmc thread in December was whyhastherum gone, but I haven't noticed any posts from her for a while. I hope she's doing ok.
Cd29 and still waiting for af xx

Hi Greedy been thinking of you and really hope you get a strong BFP soon :) You're also totally right about testing early. It's doesn't change anything and gets expensive very quickly.

Littlemiss just to let you know that the last time I was pregnant I waited till CD 30 to test and got the faintest of BFP's, I tested 3 days later and got a strong BFP. So it can still take some time to show up, in case you're still waiting for AF.

Hulaballoo I hope you're feeling a little better today I think you're approach to everything is inspiring and like littlemiss says I too hope your DH will come round too when he's ready. Definitely I have adopted the same mantra of 'What will be will be' since the mmc. There's genuinely no reason to test early or even get early scans for that matter. I hope that made sense?

I'm cd 31 and still waiting for af apple. I think I've already convinced myself that I haven't conceived this month :/ xx

Thanks appleseed. I did another test this morning as I think af was actually due today, and there's a nice strong line. I'm in a weird place though. I still haven't said anything to dp, I've come close, but keep thinking 'if I get to five weeks, then I'll say something, or could I even keep my mouth shut until 7 weeks and (hopefully) just present him with a scan pic?'. Unfortunately it's my birthday in three weeks, so getting an early scan will coincide with that and having to explain my sudden uncharacteristic teetotallisn will ring alarm bells.

I just feel that while he's still processing his father's death and supporting his sisters and their mum, I don't want him worrying about me or whether this one will stick.

Otoh it's a very lonely place to be as I don't even feel that can tell my mum or my best friend before I've told dp. MN is currently my only outlet. I've also got a stinking cold/cough which is making me feel a bit sorry for myself!

The thing about not telling anyone is that I could start bleeding next week and I'll be the only person who will ever have known. That makes me feel a bit sad.

Anyway, 'for today I am pregnant'. It's a good mantra.

Sorry to hear that you're struggling a bit hula, I was in a pretty bad place a few weeks ago, had convinced myself that it wasn't going to happen again. I even left my old mn fb group from when I had dd, as all the pics of new baby siblings and bumps were killing me. It would have been my 20 week scan next week, which sucks. Much rather be halfway there than barely off the starting blocks. DD has just started playing up a bit too, and although she's very funny and cute I was beginning to question the wisdom of having another at my age.

Thank you MrsBob, keep buggering on, I am thinking of you all. X

(((littlemiss)))

Littlemiss I may well be joining you. Try not to worry, I remind myself that I've been pregnant before and I can be pregnant again. Half the battle for some is to even get to that stage. I count myself lucky for that.

Greedy that's very sensitive and thoughtful of you to wait but remember although there are worries this is still wonderful happy news. How did you feel when you first got you BFP for this a couple of days ago? Elated I hope! I feel you should let you DP know sooner than later, obviously I'm sure you'll know and judge your situation far better than me but it's wonderful news to share. Also your concerns of the possibility of unfortunate things happening again you need that love, support and acknowledgement, I know I would want it but try not to worry about this, stress is not a great factor. Whether you chose to tell soon or later you've always got us and definitely have me to lean on here :) Take each day as it comes, this is wonderful happy news after a MMC. xx

Thank you appleseed, that's such a kind post. I know, but I think because my last mmc is so recent, I am trying to manage my own expectations too. The next two weeks are just going to fly by!

If it weren't for his dad I would have told him straight away, but part of me also likes the idea of telling him on my birthday over a nice dinner (the last three announcements have always been in a stunned voice at 6am or by text message!)

It's annoying from a work perspective tho as I'm gunning for a promotion, having just got my head back in the game after having my daughter, so two mcs in quick succession or, fx, an mc and more maternity leave really aren't helpful. Roll on first EPU appointment! I just wish I could fast forward and know if it's going to work out or not. I'm not known for my patience at the best of times.

Af has finally arrived...yay! I knew it would eventually because I didn't 'feel' pregnant this month so I'm just glad I can start a new month and no more wondering when af will turn up xx