Thread 25. TTC #1 - February Fertility Fighters on the FRONTLINE

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We've ditched the Gregorian calendar in favour of the TTC Cycle Day calendar, and we don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

We have a new Grad's Thread. We recently lost a whole load of ttc veterans to the good side and we're absolutely desperate to join in the fun! May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

pyjamas no more spotting. Still some cramps. Main one is constant low level of nausea - feel like I need to be eating all the time. However my boobs are not remotely sore/sensitive/tingly which was the main sign for me last time with my CP. I'm meant to be testing weds at 13 dpo but might try Sunday 10dpo if still feel like this.

Very interesting Harriet - I would be suspicious if I had that as well! Don't blame you for testing. I'm waiting until next Saturday so will be 16dpo - am giving AF every chance in the world to show up!

Thanks for the luck kaydee 😊 Don't know why, but I'm just not optimistic this month - I've probably gone into self-preservation mode.

Jam - don't give up Jam, you will get there eventually I promise you. It's just not the easy journey you would of hoped. It's easy to say, I know I'll be a quivering wreck when AF arrives and I'm not one of those people who gets a BFP from a HSG. But it is what it is. PM me if you want to chat privately about anything, I'll be a sounding board for your anxiety and frustration. Xxx

sorry about painful AF jam hope it eases up soon, take care.

alexia you might still be in you I never know what with having irregular cycle lengths and so on...fx for you

Kathrino is right Jam, I think we were all routing for you. I'm so so sorry! Keep up the pma though, I really admire you for that.

Alexia - you're not out yet, try and keep positive. A few more days could give you that BFP you want.

I woke up this morning feeling queasy and also with a slight feeling like I get before AF in my abdomen. Fingers crossed I'm not in for another short cycle! Let's hope for BFPs all round in the next couple of weeks!

alexia my temp seems to be all over the place I don't know if it's because of this darn cold or what but I'm taking it each day when I wake its gone from 36.10 to 36.93 and now it's 36.64 I'm guessing it's the cold possibly who knows

You never know pyjamas, a lot seem to get their BFP when they least expect it / aren't optimistic!!

jam I really do not know why it has to be this hard every step of this journey feels so precarious and so damn hard! (((Mahoosive hug)))

Ranting is good macs... better out than in!!!

miranda actually have been quite effective this morning and got some lingering jobs done - must be that Friday feeling!! Although now I feel like going home early and having a schnooze... 😴 but shall persevere... at least have nice dinner to look forward to with cuz.
Also am going to see Rent tomorrow in Eastbourne!!! My social life is either famine or feast!

alexia I must have missed your BFN - still LSFX for you!!!

Okay back to the grindstone - still have 18 appraisals to write...

So sorry jam , know exactly how you feel, hang in there xx

What's really helped me is putting a longer term goal on it. ... ie aiming for bfp before Christmas as opposed to next month.

Winging - oh there is absolutely no question that we will have our BFPS by Christmas.

jam crying doesn't mean you're not strong. You are strong. Let yourself cry if you need it, there's no weakness in that.

So sorry for your BFN this morning alexia. Is this longer than your usual LP now? That's a positive to focus on if so (I know it might not feel like it right now.)

FX for all upcoming testers and LSFX for those in FW!

Thanks so much for your support girls it really means an awful lot. I come on here and see these messages and I feel this huge amount of warmth from all of you caring people and I don't feel so alone in this.

Wishing all of you onto BFP s

Just wanted to say thank you all for your kind messages. The support you show me means so much I know I'm prematurely breaking down but I feel out already. It's my birthday next week too and that's affecting me thinking straight. Last year I got AF at 10am on my birthday and nothing has changed since. There's nothing to celebrate once again.

I've been talking/crying my eyes out on the phone to my mum for most of the afternoon. She now truly understands how upset I am about this and how much this has beaten me down for the last 2 years. She wants me to see the Dr and get antidepressants on Monday.

Music yes my luteal phase has extended as I'm 11dpo today but I feel out already so it doesn't help much. We did everything perfectly this cycle. Loads of sex, softcups, Femara. I have a triphasic chart so I know my progesterone/egg was good. I'm just totally fed up.

Thinking of you Jam - this is so shit

Love to everyone else Sorry for being so dramatic. I might step back for a bit until I'm feeling better xxx

Alexia it's not dramatic at all, this is how it is and it's the hardest thing. It's tested me more than anything and at times I question if I can keep doing it. I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad please take care of yourself and know we are here for you 💙🌷🌹🌸🌺💐🌼

Thank you Jam, you're such a sweetheart. It is the hardest thing I've ever done and it eats away at me every day. I feel like a failure. I broke down last month with the CP but managed to pick myself back up by focusing on this cycle being successful. Being pregnant for my birthday and having an October anniversary due date. It's was bound to come crashing down.

I feel like that too. I'm giving myself until June (because I can't miss these crucial good schooling months) and then I'm 100% taking a break. Loads of love to you. Hope your DH treats you this weekend to help put a smile back on your face ❤️😙💜

alexia you're not definitely out though are you? Really sorry that you're feeling so down and don't mean to get your hopes up, but isn't there still a chance as AF hasn't arrived?

I'm trying to talk myself out of testing tomorrow at 9dpo even though the clearblue test says it could work...(with 65% accuracy). Tell me to back away!

My heart goes out to you both Alexia and Jam. Nobody would deny for a second how hard this whole process is and how much it destroys your belief in yourself and makes you question everything in your life. I doubt there's anything I can say that will make either of you feel any better but I hope, if nothing else, that this has shown you how immensely strong you both are and how you can face one of the worst things in the world and still come out fighting. That's something to be incredibly proud of

Oh jam I'm so so sorry. Cry if you need too, it's not weak at all.

Alexia I'm sorry about your bfn. I can understand the feeling of doing everything perfectly and still not getting the result you want. I usually say that women's instincts are usually right and we know when something hadn't worked, but I really do hope that they are wrong on this occasion and AF stays away.

Ladies, this process is so damn hard and tests us to our absolute limits, but I'm certain that one day we will get our babies, whatever route we have to take. So much love to you both. ❤❤

harriet your symptoms sound promising!

Out of the blue I have developed a chesty cough. And now I'm wondering if that is affecting my temps as again it dipped this morning. Or egg is just not a good one this month.

Help, I'm surrounded by small children! Can anyone come rescue me please?

So sorry jam and Alexia that your bfn's.
Can't rescue you skipper!

As some of you know, I distract myself in the waiting phases of the cycle by coniuous attempts to progress of the c25k..... W5r3 completed! My first 20min run!!!!! Slightly offset by the onset of bladder weakness at the end .....

Now enjoying a nice glass of white wine....

Sorry you're both feeling so down Alexia and Jam - I hope you realise how strong and inspirational you both are. You cannot give up, you just can't. Don't. Let. It. Beat. You. You both deserve this.

Alexia - if you are feeling this down, best to see a GP and maybe get some therapy. Anchor therapy may be quite good, so when you're feeling heightened emotion (anger, stress, depression) you train your brain to instantly focus on personal anchors that trigger happy memories, images and smells. I use it, it's not always perfect but it does help me through every failed cycle and my anxiety of hospitals.

Hep - well done, I have no idea how you find the motivation for a 20 min run, especially in the cold and dark. Hope you enjoyed your well deserved glass of vino.

Right, kids are gone...was not expecting that. Kids are always drawn to me like a flame, I don't always like other people's kids but today was an exception. Made some lego, played with an elastic band shooter and caught a few Pokemon on my phone (I now have no Pokeballs left!) Knackered now, don't know how people do kids full time

Sending everyone good thoughts and vibes for the current cycle. Very sorry for the losses, lack of answers, and BFNs. Onward, we can do this.

Starfish, are you testing tomorrow? Sorry if I missed an update.

Sorry to hear about the rough time you're both going through jam and Alexia. This business can knock us for six sometimes and it can feel very bleak. You're both strong and you will do this. Big hugs to you both xxx

How's my HSG buddy Skipper and cycle buddy Harriet doing? Did you test in the end Harriet?

I went out last night for a massive pizza last night with DH ☺️ Usually I'd be in the pub and I would've woken up with a hangover today, but I'm feeling full of beans 😁

9dpo and still no symptoms really - I seem to be bloaty and gassy but I've had that before so not reading into it. I'll be watching my mood quite carefully over the next few days - I turn into a fire breathing 🐉 a few days before AF!

Was hoping for some non-ttc dtd with DH this weekend, but his dad/dog is here which ruins the mood somewhat! No way we'll dtd during the week and will either have AF or BFP next weekend. Given total lack of any symptoms - I suspect AF.

alexia yes go speak to doc about how you are feeling. Talking therapies might help. Not sure about meds as my doc suggested not taking them if I was thinking of becoming preg because a lot of them you can't take when preg and if I conceived I'd have to come off them and cope naturally anyway...I'm not a doc obvs but that's just what mine said. A lot of the time I just wish he'd given me some though because I have days when I really struggle. It's not easy xxxx

Pyjamas - I'm absolutely fine but I can't believe I have to wait a whole more 7 days to find out either way. I've stopped getting those twinges and am now completely symptomless too. What day is your AF due?