lets have some success stories please, feeling depressed:(

[wishing1]

38 ttc for 8 months now, depression starting to really get to me, losing weight, crying, etc. will it ever happen lets hear some success stories!!

i am not a success story but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. try not to get too obsessed (not easy i know). i am concentrating on getting fit by running etc. i kind of think the fitter i am the better my chances and it does lift my spirits.

is this your first time trying?

Wishing - when we were trying for DS1 we tried everything.

I know that this is possibly the most irritating advice on earth, but is there anyway you can try to forget about TTC for just one month. The reason this because once I forgot about it, it happened.

After a year, I was asked to go for blood tests to check my hormone levels at ovulation. I had them done and then forgot about TTC (on the basis that I thought there was a problem and it wouldn't happen).

Our trip to the doctor for our results turned out to be a trip to the doctor to tell him that I was pregnant (we found out the day before).

A year later we decided to try again. We tried for 9 months - nothing! For practical reasons we stopped trying.

Fast forward another year. We decided that another child might be nice - so I stopped the pill, thinking that it would be ages. Whammy - next month I was pregnant (I hadn't even given it a thought). Next pregnancy was even more of a surprise.

What I am trying to illustrate is, is that when i was totally focussed on TTC and getting very stressed and sad, it just didn't happen. The minute I relaxed, it did.

Harder said than done, I know. Good luck

god, dejags if i had a pound everytime i heard that advice ....

it is hard to relax and you find yourself grinding your teeth think I MUST RELAX.

I know Pesme. God it is irritating, isn't it.

It just seems to be the only thing that works (in the absence of anything physically wrong).

wishing1 have you talked to anyone about how your are feeling? i find it really hard, my gp was really sympathetic and told me to come back if i just wanted to talk about it. is your dp/dh sympathetic?

Hi - just wanted to also back up the 'try be actively not interested' line. I now have 5 friends who have all tried for children for up to 10 yrs by IVF (various fertility problems) and within a year of stopping they've got pregnant - one now has one and is pregnant again, second has just had her second, third has 3, 4th didn't want her 3rd (had 2 by IVF already) and 5th has 3. They had all decided to make plans without including children, had gone back to work (if they'd given up), spent their IVF money on a holiday instead etc, etc. It's really hard when you're so desperate for a child (I remember crying for months in a row) but it just doesn't help you, hubby or the conceiving! Lots of hugs to youx

I don't know about advice or anything but I can give you a success story if it will cheer you.

My friend has one ds, conceived through IVF after she and her dh were trying for about two years. She got pg first time off the IVF as she got one free round of it on the NHS.

She and her dh have always wanted a second, and in November they went for the NHS IVF treatment. But in December she got her period. They were both really depressed not least because they now had to save for the £4,000 to get IVF privately.

Anyway she missed her period in January and didn't think anything of it until she started feeling sick etc. She did a test and it was positive!

The Doctor sent her for a dating scan almost immediately, as they had assumed it was the IVF and the period she'd had in December was implantation bleeding or something like that.

Anyway, the dating scan came back and... it wasn't the IVF at all, it was natural!

So now (inbetween feeling sick as a dog of course) she is over the moon as is her dh.

I hope that was the kind of success story you were after.

I can't really give you a success story on the baby front, but I can on the beating depression and feeling more optimistic front. I don't appear to have a problem conceiving, but actually holding onto the little beans. I've had 3 mc's and have found out I've got a fairly severe bicornuate uterus. Over the last year or so and especially over christmas have been feeling really down, so decided to try acupuncture. The first session didn't really do that much, but the second one was amazing, it really was. She burnt a herb on a couple of points on my chest before sticking the needles in. Afterwards she told me that the points were called 'spirits burial ground' as she could tell that my spirit/soul was dying and had basically lost the will to carry on. That afternoon it felt as though a big weight that had been sitting in my chest had been lifted and that the future was so much more optimistic. I really felt a few stone lighter and actually felt myself smiling again and able to be my old cheerful self anddeal with everything that has gone on. My DH really noticed the difference aswell. We've just started ttc again this month and AF is due today so I'm just waiting with fingers crossed. But if I do get the BFP I want, then I know that that is when the real worries start for me. I also think it is good if you can plan to do things that you can't do if you are pregnant. I've got a load of heavy gardening stuff and painting/varnishing that I want to do. I obviously want the BFP, but also know that if it doesn't arrive this month, then I have a few more weeks to work on getting the house in some kind of order.
Sorry I've rabbited on, but if you can afford it ( I am now seriously broke - but happier) then I really recommend acupuncture for the stress/depression.

wishing 1, have you been to gp? coz your over 35 and trying 6 months and over they will give you tests am 40 started trying at 38 was fond i had stopped ovulating so i was given clomid after 2 months got pg but m/c and 2 more months i got pg again now 24 weeks pg

Wishing - come and hang out in the hut of gl/doom. We don't have the answers but take it in turns to feel miserable and despondent. We are all very nice really, despite our "don't care" attitude (we do! we do!)

I have a success story...I'm 37 and just over 14 weeks pregnant with 1st baby after 18 months TTC. DH had 2 really poor sperm tests so were gearing up for IVF/ICSI and I had a bit of endometriosis so had some laser surgery on that. At the IVF clinic DH had another sperm test and was normal. (This was after 3 months of stuffing vitamins down his neck.)2 months after this test and 1 month after my surgery I concieved whilst on a relaxing beach holiday. Also had acupuncture for about 2 month and drank lots of grapefruit juice. Not sure what worked but something did. Most of my friends seemed either to take 1 month to concieve or at least a year.

I too have a success story. TTC for 2 yrs - referred for IVF, DH sperm variable, me with endo and blocked tube. Booked an appt to unblock tube (wanted as many options open as possible rather than being herded through IVF) - got pregnant whilst waiting for operation. We had not even thought about it - thinking that it wouldn't happen naturally!

If it is taking a while go to GP - just the action of "doing something" seems to put you mentally on hold, while you get everything checked out!

Thanks so much ladies, I feel a little better. I have older children and they are moved out, empty nest They would love to have a brother or sister as they express to me all the time. I'm on dh #2 who is the most wonderful man and doesn't have any children, I've had that nightmare too that he leaves me for someone who has younger eggs but he has said this is nonsense that if we are not meant to have any together then he would certainly never leave. I desperately want another baby and I know deep down inside without putting pressure on me as he did in the beginning that he does too but he can see that it is wearing on me and the sex timing is really getting to us. We try and plan our vacations around not having too many lay overs or jetlag around OV!!! My gp told me to start temping 2 months ago and bring them in so I've done that and I have an apt. next week, which makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy that something might be wrong that can be fixed and sad if there is nothing wrong and sad that dh wont go back for his second sperm analysis until he's been on mega vitamens for 3 months and such. I have to literally crush them and put them in his food or drink because he is such a baby about taking them (he went out and bought a pill cutter)>LOL. His first analysis was a bit low but not too bad. I have nightmares that everyone around me is prego which is seems like they are and I am balling in front of everyone! My worst fear is breaking down when I'm around someone who has a baby, I don't want dh to know how much this is wrecking me because he would think I'm crazy!! He is a little more relaxed then I am but hey...why shouldn't he be, his eggs are not aging, mine are The doc told me to just "relax" I think maybe after this visit then I'm going to take 3 months and try to not chart, not temp, get acupuncture and try to just forget about it, I really need a mental break or I'm going to have a break down! Thanks for the success stories!

I can give you another success story, I'm 36 and am 9+5 pregnant with my first after trying for 14 months. After about 8 months I went to my gp and lied and said we'd been trying for a year, so I had all the usual tests, bloods, hormones, pcos scan etc etc, and everything came up normal. We were doing all the right things, bd'ing every other day throughout my cycle, legs up afterwards, taking folic acid and still nothing.

I was referred in Sept 06 to the assisted conception unit at my local hospital, and started the same battery of tests again (why? Cos the NHS don't 'arf like spending money!) again, nothing wrong. I also had an hsg, which was really painful. I was convinced that meant I had a blocked tube, but when I finally screwed up the courage to ask my gp for the results, turns out my tubes were fine, just never been stretched like that before, so that's why it hurt!

The consultant at the hospital told my dh to start taking something called Wellman, a vitamin supplement to boost his sperm. The numbers weren't down, but the numbers of deformed ones was a little too high.

I too was a little obssessed about getting pregnant, insisting on dragging poor old dh to bed regardless of how in the mood we were, and lots of people told me to relax and not worry about it and it'll happen. Over Christmas, taking advantage of a few days off, dh bd'd every day for five days (contrary to advice) 2 days before ov, on the day of ov, and 2 days after just to be sure. On Jan 14 I got a bfp!!

I don't know if it was the hsg clearing out my tubes a bit, the Wellman vits dh was taking, or bd'ing every day that one time, or a combination of both, but I'm sure that trying too hard isn't going to stop someone getting pregnant, unless you're working yourself into such a state that you're actually threatening your own health. You'd have to be really stressed about it to affect your chances of having a baby, and I'm sure that that level of stress would have some kind of physiological indicator a doctor would pick up, like high blood pressure, hormonal disruption, etc etc.

All I can say to Wishing is 8 months isn't that long, so don't sweat it. And if you are worried, don't worry that your worrying will make it difficult to conceive, because you just end up on a downward spiral of worry. And everyone else, keep at it, don't give up the faith, and remember genuine infertility is still pretty rare thank goodness, even Dr Robert Winston admits that most fertility problems people experience these days are down to not enough sex! So get to it, and as I said to dh when we were trying, it's hardly the worst thing you could put yourself through, imagine if we had to poke ourselves in the eye with a sharp stick each time we wanted to get pregnant, now that would be a chore!

Phew what a long 'un! apologies for what may seem a rant, good luck to all those trying!

By the way wishing, just reading your later post... My friend sent me an email late last year telling me she was 12 weeks pregnant, it was the first day of my af, and I bawled my eyes out! It was also the last af I had, and consequently I always smile when doctors ask me the date of my LMP, cos I'll never forget how down I was that day. You never know whats round the corner!!

Thanks so much, maybe I need an hsg, we'll see my neighbor got preg after hers and tried for 2 years! That's a great story, I'm so happy for you, really am, not lying. My dh is on lots of vitamens maybe I will order the wellman, sounds good. We usually bd 4 days before ov 1 day before ov and 2 days after, so hopefully that is not the prob

The hsg I has was part of the routine tests the hospital ran to check everything was working. The doc did explain that people who hadn't had children before often found them to be quite painful, but the nurses doing the hsg suggested there could also have been a blockage, some goo or something equally gross that could have if not stopped me getting pregnant, then could certainly have made it a bit more difficult.

The Wellman was quite hard work with dh, they taste of marmite (must be the vit b I guess) and he much such a drama about it!! Blimey, considering all the horrible, undignified things I had to have done I nearly killed him for whingeing about a bloomin' pill!!! LOL!!

Sounds like you're doing the right thing, I wouldn't worry at 8 months, my mum kept telling me it took her 10 months to get pregnant with my sister when she was 22 (my mum that is, not my sister!) If you're worried go to your gp, if it doesn't make you feel too guilty, pretent you've been trying for a year and get them to refer you on. You can usually get the initial tests done at the gps, which is quite reassuring - knowing you're ovulating, and the hormones are all in the right place!

Thanks, I have an appointment next week to take my temp charts in and get some more bloodwork done. I have already had fsh, lh, and estradiol, but he wants to check progesterone because I start to spot too early before my cycle begins, hopefully something soon will work, yesterday was a bad day for me, just cried and watched movies all day. Dh came home and asked whats wrong, I said nothing because its the same old thing and I'm sure after a long day at work he didn't want to hear about it once again. But I'm sure he knew because I said nothing and he said, "your going to the doctor next week, lets see what he says." ahhh Today I must go to work but don't feel like it things really getting to me.

Something like 90% of couples will get pregnant within a year of trying. Something like 95% of couples will get pregnant within 2 years of trying. Even when there is nothing wrong on either side, these things sometimes take time.

You are doing the right things by getting checked out by the doctor. Are you getting DH checked as well? It takes two to make a baby, and it would be frustrating to get down the road of testing you before discovering that you're OK and there's an issue with him.

To give you hope, I am 35 and 7 weeks pg with my first child. We've been trying almost 2 years, and had the full round of tests and treatments. It took a long time for confirmation that the issue was with DH's sperm, and we are pg as a result of our first IVF cycle.

Good luck with your appointment!

Hugs,
Artoo.

Hi,

My heart went out to you reading your post. this was me a few years ago. I couldnt get pregnant and the longer it goes on the more obsessed I became! It got so bad I saw pregnant women everywhere, all my friends were having babies...or so it seemed! I guess its human nature! It took over my life! there is no point in telling you to not be or to forget about it...I know thats impossible.
after a year I was very strict with myself and went to the Dr. I know Im a coward too! Believe me!
Anyway we had hormone checks etc and we were told we would never have kids! Sounds not like a positive story at this point right? Well it was hubby who had the problem. We were referred to hospital...and now I have three kids! Yes really! Modern science is wonderful and they helped us to forfil a dream. I know its not fully happy the way you want but my point is, the way may not be smooth but never take a no from Drs as no. they may be wrong and you may still succeed! hopefully your journey will not be anything like as hard, but its just that mine was hard but yet here I am later with 3 kids! Never say never and never give up!
Mail me if you want to chat. I know what you feel.

[email protected]

I just wanted to say I'm a sucess story, expecting our second child at 45. First is 2 1/2.

For many people, relaxing and postive thinking is enough, but it wasn't for us! Against my judgement I heeded the advice, tried to relax and do alternative therapies, and wasted bloody years!. Our problem was unexplained infertility.
Years later, (when it was far too late)we routed out the problem for ourselves, with much research.
If I'd heeded all the advice about relaxing,we'd be childless now, with no hope at all! Instead, I'm the deleriously happy mummy of one with another on the way.
I'm so glad I trusted my instincts. I decided not to rely on luck, but take the bull by the horns and do whatever we needed to. For us, that meant going overseas (which was excellent and much,much cheaper than here)

For many people relaxing etc is all that is needed, but a good safety policy is to get things looked at too, get on waiting lists, and trust your instincts. If you do get lucky, you won't need to worry, and if you don't, you aleady have everything in place!

Sincere apologies if I have offended anyone.

Hi girls,

Sorry for the long post but I also wanted to share my story with you. I?m 29, dh is 29, and we?d been ttc for 14 months. I was diagnosed with PCOS (through scans and blood tests) when I was a teenager. Dh was diagnosed with very low sperm count, poor quality and motility 3 months ago. My cycles are between 28 and 35 days and I?ve used clearblue fertility monitor since mid-06 and would occasionally get a positive.

In December, we were referred to a specialist, dh had a 2 sperm analysis and the results were very bad. The NHS consultant suggested that the only way forward would be IVF with ICSI.

In late February, we went to a private fertility specialist (to get a 2nd opinion), who did a 3rd sperm analysis (which came back with even lower count ? 4 million/ml!!). He said that it was virtually impossible for us to conceive without help and that there was no point in trying IUI or plain IVF, only ICSI would do it for us. He also told me there was no point in checking my tubes (HSG) but I insisted in having the test done just in case.

Dh and I decided to wait a bit before starting ICSI as the news that we would never be able to conceive naturally came as shock.

I had the HSG done on cd 7 (beginning of March) and was told my tubes were ok. I had a + on my fertility monitor on cd 10. I thought that was really strange as I?ve never had a + that early before, but we bd for 2 consecutive days anyway. I continued testing (normal opk this time, not the monitor), got another + on cd 16 and 17, bd both days.

On cd 28, for the first time ever I got a BFP, I was more scared than happy, I have to say. I only tested because I was feeling different, my breast were (are) really sore and I had very mild cramping for over a week. I then went to the clinic and had the pregnancy confirmed with a blood test.

It?s very ironic that I got pregnant exactly 3 weeks after we were told that my husband?s sperm count was at its lowest. I don?t know if the fact that I had the HSG helped in anyway. My husband also started taking supplements (wellman + vitamin C with Zinc and L-carnitine) and stopped going to the sauna after the gym exactly 3 months ago.

I know it?s early days (I?m just 4+5) and I?m really scared, constantly thinking that something might go wrong. Hopefully it'll all go well and I?ll have a healthy baby late November.

Good luck to all of you.

Just had time to skim the threads, so apologies if I repeat things that have already been mentioned...

I conceived dd1 almost straight away, but it took 4.5 long years to conceive dd2, so I do understand how stressful a time it can all be and how it can be hard to focus on anything else....

Despite this, I think it does help if you can try to stop obsessing about it. Easier said than done, I know.

Go to your GP and see if you can get the ball rolling re fertility tests etc.

Look at your diet. If you are overweight or eating crap, try to do something about it. This is something that will be good for you as well as any future baby. I lost a bit of weight following the GI diet before I finally conceived, and am convinced thsi playes a part. Certainly, if you have a sweet tooth, and indulge it, this can play havoc with your hormone levels.

Take a good vitamin/mineral supplement. Won't do any harm and might help to get your body ready for pregnancy.

Have you considerd any "alternative" therapies? I had a few sessions of reflexology and believe these also helped. Nice relaxing thing to do, anyway. (As a bonus, the day after my first session, a sinus problem that had been irritating me for months disappeared).

Finally, try reading Toni Weschler's "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" which might help you to better understand your cycles nad maximise the chances of getting pregnant each month.

Best of luck to you and anyone else trying to conceive.

Oh, and underweight is not good either.