2 years of TTC

[Macarena1980]

This new year has marked the 2nd year for trying to conceive. I'm finding it hard as lots of friends have just had baby's and over the Christmas period and catching up with family we suspect my Husbands sister and my brothers wife are pregnant. I know it sounds bad but I can't help feeling bitter, for want of a better word, I've been positive to everyone's face, except my husband who is great but is finding it hard to know how to deal with my emotions. Is anyone else feeling this way or has some tips to deal with it.

I'm 36 and we came off the pill 2 years ago. I've been to my doctor who has completed blood tests which show my hormones are being normal and suggests i am ovulating. I've carried out ovulations tests which show I ovulate around day 14, but we try every 2nd or more during the middle 2 weeks of my cycle just to be safe. My bmi is over 30 so I've been advised we won't be referred for ivf till I've lost weight. Which I'm finding hard. We are going to private clinic next week so hopefully this will give me something to keep positive about.

Happy new year! Xx

Has your doctor not referred you for other tests? The should do because it's been more than 12 months, my original tests should I was ovulating but then got a procedure to make sure tubes were okay, can't remember what it's called but showed one tube was completely blocked. It's worth pushing for that test? Xx

Thanks, I asked about other tests but the consultant said that because I'm 36 the next stage is ivf. I've always had difficult periods and explained this and asked about a test to see if my tubes were blocked and he said my bmi would need to be below 30 for this too. The crazy thing is my bmi was below 30 when I started to try and is now 35 as I've put on a bit of weight after starting a new job. We've decided to go for a private consultation as feel like the NHS have let us down and hoping that maybe this will at least answer some questions. Xx

Hi Macarena,

I'm in a similar situ to you except I've only been TTC 16 months. Only people who know are my OH, sister (who's travelling the world) and two close friends who I blurted it out too because I needed more support. It's still quite difficult because they can't relate (they aren't in relationships themselves) and my OH isn't interested in talking about it, he thinks I should just relax and let it happen.

Then next to all this I have my MIL breathing down my neck about wanting grandkids (it's taken us 7 years to finally book our marriage - mainly due to lack of money). So every time I meet the family I'm constantly getting jokes about how it may take us another 7 years to have kids, which hurts because of the trouble I'm having and OH not savvy enough to interject or misdirect the convo.

I just feel weakened by it all, preliminary tests revealed nothing which actually makes me worry even more. Even the Doctor had the audacity to say that with my test results, I should have beeen pregnant months ago! Yeah great...

I find it strange that they won't take your investigation any further because of BMI. Also IVF costs the NHS a lot of money so why are they throwing that at you before checking your tubes? You may want to check to see if you get any free rounds of IVF in your area, I'm worried they're just trying to get your money. If I was you, I'd go back to the surgery or consultant and ask for a second opinion as there is much more they could be doing for you.

Anyway, this was more to just let you know that you're not alone xx

Thank you! Its nice to know that I'm not alone. It just feels like everyone else is pregnant and I feel auwful that I can't just be happy for them. I hope you have some good luck soon. I'll see what my appointment brings this week then I can decided where to go next. Xx