Am I mad? I'm not sure.

[Fourbyfour]

My husband and I have been ttc since August and so far no success. I thought we had a bfp earlier this month but it was an evaporation line.
Two weeks after I applied for a new job which has got me thinking - what am I doing?!

I've currently got a very well paid job in a company that pays good maternity and I've been there for 3 years. I've built a really good professional reputation for myself.
Despite this, Ive applied for a role at a company I've always wanted to work for who rarely hire. I'm much more interested in that industry than my current (it's the same type of job role so all skills transferable), and this particular company is a leader in it.

I guess I'm just writing this down to clear my thoughts, but so far I'm still confused.
We're both broody, but it's always been me that's been broodiest. And yet I find myself shying away from dtd until I hear back about this job. Even if I did get it, it might not offer the flexibility my current employer does. Am I looking to jobs just because I've got fed up with ttc and no luck and need something to focus on?

Obviously I may not get this job at all, I'm just trying to work out what my head is doing. Can you make any sense of it, or do you have any advice?

If I were you I would stay in the current job and TTC. Sounds like that's what you would rather do?

Life doesn't stop because you're TTC. However I would certainly not change jobs. I have stuck it out at my current job because I would simply find it very disrespectful to be pregnant after starting a new job in my personal profession. You might find you get less maternity benefits at the new job?

Change jobs. You sound as though you are very much more interested in the other company. My advice is always to do what interests you and the rest will follow. I say this as someone who has had years of managing career alongside my children and my hopes for another child. I know that if you don't seize the day in all aspects of your life you may well regret it. What if you don't apply for this other job and it takes you 18 months to conceive or you don't conceive at all)? What if you get this other job and have to work really hard to make it work alongside a new baby? I know which scenario I'd rather deal with.

Mouse The other company Offer 52weeks full pay (I think partly to attract women to the industry as its 90% male dominated), with a nursery on site . My current company offers 14 weeks at 100%, and remaining 25 at SMP.

Polly I am much more interested in the other company. It also would open a lot more doors for the future. I'm very much aware that I might not be able to conceive, or even get the job, so I'm worrying over nothing really. I think I just needed to hear from other people to clear my head. Having written it down, and thought about the responses, I do really want this job.

Shitting hell, sign me up. I want a job there!!!!