Being referred to fertility clinic in January

[NoImBridgetJones]

28 (nearly 29)
Cycle 12
TTC 1

Went to the doctors for preliminary blood tests during cycle 10. After a 6 week wait and two more cycles where I've not got pregnant, I've been told my AMH is 'low for my age,' that I'm 'not someone who should wait' and that I'm being referred to a fertility clinic in January.

I'm devastated. I don't know what comes next.

I don't know what all my other hormone levels are, no idea re. FSH, prolactin etc, no idea what my actual AMH level was. Just that it's low, and that I don't have time to waste.

I just feel a sense of utter panic. For the long term future, for facing the new year and all that may be ahead of us.

The Dr wasn't sure if this is why I've not got pregnant yet, so there will be more tests to come. I suspect endo but who really knows.

I want to go back to the Dr's this week and get my levels, but I don't think they want to see me until Jan. I'm not in the UK so it's private healthcare.

I may be getting ahead of myself but I'm worried about how we'll finance treatment. Who do we tell? Inlaws have been DESPERATE for grandchildren for years so there's already been pressure. My relationship with my mum is a bit strained. All my friends have children. I have to go and meet the newest 4-week old this evening.

I've got a history of anxiety. A history of EDs that I've fought and fought and kept at bay. I'm scared that I won't know how to handle this.

I'm scared of all the hormones i might need. I have awful PMS as it is. I'm worried I'll be so moody and get in trouble at work. Do I tell my boss? I work in a male dominated industry with only men on my team.

I live in DH's country so my closest friends aren't around, I think I'm just shocked or something.

They talk about a biological clock, but it feels like my alarm is actually going off now. I don't have time to wait apparently, but how long do I have? Wish I'd got more info from the GP.

Probably jumping the gun here and catastrophising, sorry - I think perhaps I need to just vent.

Wish I could see it as a positive step, and I can kind of see that it is, but it's positivity laced with... I don't even know what.

How did others feel about getting a referral?

Urgh - long, self-indulgent stream of consciousness right there. Sorry

Ok, first of all, deep breath. If your egg reserve is low, this isn't necessarily stopping you from getting pregnant. I am in the same boat at 31. We saw the fertility clinic in July and were told that dp has antisperm antibodies and we have a 1% chance of natural conception so we should go for icsi. Due to my depleting egg reserves we were expected to make a decision then and there. It will cost us £5000 as I have a child from a previous relationship. They said everything they could to get us to spend. I've never felt so backed into a corner and just sat in floods of tears. My silence was enough for them to say we had a year to think about it.
Cost aside, like you my hormones play absolute havoc with an existing condition and I cannot imagine putting myself through icsi right now. Maybe in the future but not now. Yes, my eggs are depleting, but not as fast as they lead you to believe. My numbers were only very slightly outside of where they would expect for my age.
You can ring your docs to get your results printed. I would recommend you do thisso you know what you are dealing with. Has your dp been tested yet? Normally this is done before a referral.
I went to the clinic expecting a hormone issue with me and I could pop some pills and be on my merry way, especially as dp had already been tested and given the all clear. He had to have a different test and I was not expecting the outcome we got.

Hey there Bridget - I'm 35 (nearly 36), TTC #1 with DH who is 41 and I've just received the 'low for your age' AMH result.

Fertility consultant reassured me that AMH only measures quantity, not quality, and reminded me that it only takes one egg to conceive. She also said that the low AMH result would only be an issue if we go down the IVF route as I would produce less eggs to work with. She did say that we do need to get cracking as my levels will only get lower with age, esp if we want two kids (which we do) - so yes, I do know how you feel about that ticking clock all of a sudden getting quite deafening!

She said age is the main factor in egg quality so as you're still young, your eggs may well be in great shape!

I know it's hard not to panic (I had a minor freak out), but remember, regardless of how many eggs you have left, it only takes one

Thank you Delilah for reminding me to breathe! Breathing properly and reading your post has calmed me down a bit, thank you

So sorry for your experiences. I'm actually so impressed with your level-headedness there to decide that actually, no, you won't be pressured by the situation and are taking the time to do what's best for you. Going to try to remember that.

I think that's what's panicking me most at the moment, this sense of urgency yet the whole process is slow. The doctor told me to "have a good Christmas and see you in January" and I just felt kind of stunned.

I think I'll phone and ask for a printout of the results. As you say, at least then I'll know where I stand a little more.

DH hasn't had a SA yet, we tried to get him in for one while I was having the bloodtests but, honestly, I think the Dr was expecting everything to come back normal from me and to tell us to just keep trying. Obviously that's all changed now. I guess DH will have his SA and I'll probably have scans and things. I've Googled a few fertility clinics and they seem to offer these after referral here. I've found one clinic that is a Not For Profit - thinking they might be less of a hard 'sell' than possibly other more commercial clinics. Sorry for the experience you had.

It's a real fear of the unknown, you just don't expect it do you.

Pyjamas, thank you too I think I worked myself into a bit of a panic. You're so right, it does only take one.
Just took another deep breath and re - reading your posts... Need to try and stay calm and keep it all in perspective, though it does help to know I'm not abnormal for freaking out a little bit.
Going to repeat "it only takes one..." over and over.