Lights twinkle, it's icy cold outside, 'tis the season of Yuletide, come and join us - yes you! For this is JS62!

[Ain626]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a <strong>Kitten</strong> = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a <strong>hooya</strong> = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 61 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2701794-Planet-viroid-a-spiritual-home-for-all-of-the-shaggers-Its-JS-61-this-is-going-to-be-the-big-one?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2768810-come-hither-upduffed-viroids-here-we-will-hold-your-hand-through-scans-rejoice-at-your-hairy-shins-and-of-course-share-your-lust-over-ian-mcshane-it-s-js-grads-48" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Got my day 1-5 and day 21 bloods back today and thyroid results. All normal! I'm not sure if that's good, or bad. Because at ,east if we knew something was wrong we could deal with it? Waiting DH's sperm analysis results in a week, then clinic at the start of Jan!

Repeat after me..I will have my second baby before I am 40 (which is Nov..so we need to get it sorted soon lol!)

Oh bugger cori

That is good zyla! Well done.

Wankbadgers cori, sorry mate

angel so glad you're on the waiting list, seems ages but it will fly. The upside of your dp having an issue is that you bypass the rest of the tests/waiting etc that the NHS insist on if its unexplained I guess? Fingers crossed you're upduffed before then obviously.
Sure you have googled this to death but if you haven't seen this it might be worth a read as it recommends a couple of vitamins http://www.natural-health-for-fertility.com/antisperm-antibodies-in-men.html

And a slightly heavier read:

http://medicacentar.info/PDF/Immunomodulatory-Treatment-for-Infertile-Men-with-Antisperm-Antibodies.pdf

mrsc hello! Isn't it crazy what how your biological clock can totally change your mind? Hope your stay here is brief and kitteny
You have a fab way with words, dipping tits in acid really tickled me

zyla that's how I felt, just wanted something to "fix" but it's far better that there is nothing wrong. You WILL have your second before you're 40

cookie probably best you just stay in! Did he hate the animals?

Finished work for Christmas, hurrah! We are off to Barcelona for our honeymoon on Friday, looking forward to scoffing lobster and glugging champers on xmas day

Bored of not being pregnant now, the elation of being on the IVF list has worn off now and I'm stuck in a self pitying 'why me?' mood. So I'm going to focus on researching what I can do to improve my chances of it working and after Christmas I'm going to get really healthy, I don't ever drink in the week but I'm going to cut out the Friday wine at home, I'll still drink if I go out which is rare. I doubt it will matter as I drink so little but I'll feel more in control.

So if anyone has any top IVF tips let's hear them! I am going to try and eat more veg and am madly researching vitamins etc but basically I need to regain control I think, or an illusion of it at least!

Going to enjoy the festive period first obviously

just no he loved the animals, he is quite limited with speech but name the pig with a grunt/oink! And was desperate to feed them that he picked up food off the floor! I usually buy a bag but I forgot and he tried to get food out of his lunch bag to feed the goats!

nova Glad your emerging from noro-hell! Have you managed to tell your dh the happy news yet?

Sorry about the Bfn cori

Good news about being on the list angel Fx you don't even need it!

Hello mrsC

zyla that does sound like good news although I understand wanting something that can just be fixed.

just I don't know about vitamins etc for ivf, but I think being healthy and fit definitely helps when you actually get pregnant - my friend did lots of yoga and got herself really flexible for her secondary pregnancy and found it so much easier than her first

Still no af here. Can't even be bothered to poas anymore. I expect she'll turn up in the middle of Xmas dinner just to be extra irritating!

That should say second not secondary

cookie what a cutie pie!

Yeah did kind of have that thought myself Angel but looking on the positive side I once read that having a chemical pg improves your chances of the real thing as kinda preps your body for it so always a silver lining anyway deffo out now as af has indeed arrived so here goes year five of ttc!

just Barcelona sounds great!!! Let me know if you want any recommendations? I was there just last week (work trip) but used to live there.
As for IVF tips - will have a think but basically the hardest part for me is the egg collection stage - in fact the first time I really got freaked out just before but managed to calm down and it went fine. You need to be patientband positive. After the initial shock I actually quite enjoyed the self-administered injections... well the stimulation ones - the progesterone and clexane ones I can do without - but you will most likely not need them. Any questions - I am here for you honey
Oh and if you are not on co-enzyme q10 - what are you waiting for?
You defo recommend this book:

cookie eeep he's adorable! My nephew is a similar age I think and he does an awesome line in animal noises . He also doesn't talk yet.

sofie you are totally right, I need to get back to Pilates, think I need to do something for me and it can only help if I get pregnant. Secondary pregnancy sounds like a term from a dystopian society

cori I've heard that too, gx it proves to be true for you. 5 years, you're a fucking trooper! How are you not totally mad?! You're my hero!

kwick I'm on coq-10 , thanks for recommendation have downloaded on kindle. I'm really worried about the injections , sure I'll get used to it but not sure how I'll actually do the first one. I'm considering getting DH to do them as it's not the pain I'm scared of but I'm a bit massively weird about needles.
Egg collection I think I'll be ok with, I have a lot of surgical things on my back and I weirdly quite enjoy going in for an op . Probably the drugs

I need lil our resident TTC queen, there is nothing that she doesn't know about vitamins etc!

Name: Sonia
Age: 27
TTC: #1 Since October 16

Hi everyone! I thought I'd stop being a lurker and say hi

Welcome sonia please change your username

Loving this influx of newbies, any more lurkers out there come say hi!

Thanks justtheonethen
I'm often told I lack a filter, and have a mouth of a crass sailor...

Bollocks, is my usual reply

Welcome mrs c and sonia :)

Sorry not had a chance to catch up, had a poorly baby this weekend. First post birth AF was actually quite pleasant (as far as AF can be pleasant). According to my app I should be ovulating on NYE.

As you were!

I thought I had changed my username but it doesn't seem to have worked it shows on my profile but not on here dohhh

just the injections for hormones do not hurt but sure if your hubby can oblige, that works.

Welcome sonia/user!!!

Boobs aching like they will explode!!!

Evening you fine ladies.

CD 33 here. Hopes of a regular cycle pp seem to be fading fast. Meh.

Did you have your scan today Corgi?

Welcome Username82827e7wirr9r8e

Scan all good viroids! Little 12w6d blob wiggling away. Still can't quite believe it. Have put a photo on grads if anyone wants to see
Hope you are all doing OK and sorry about the witch Cori
Welcome newbies!

Yay fantastic news Corgi, so glad all is well!

Welcome sonia

Just thanks for the links, I'll be filling poor dh with so many supplements he'll be rattling soon. I'm really keen for him to try acupuncture too, but he's not buying it atm, may have to use my feminine charms I think we prob are fortunate to have a diagnosis in a way - we've gotten onto the waiting list for treatment relatively quickly. For unexplained you have to be ttc for 3 years to even get on the treatment waiting list in our area

Cori I've heard that about chemicals too - gx it's true for you.

Kwick what is the boobage/womble situation now?

Had a ton of ewcm yesterday, so been shagging my little heart out. Also been using the yes baby lube that I bought months ago, put away in a drawer & forgot about

Fab news corgi!! Off to snoop at your scan pic now.

Yes sofie DH chuffed, he's taken to calling it Peanut, which used to be the cat's nn so she's far from pleased.

I'm wavering between optimism and anxiety. Can't decide whether to tell dm/dsis on Sunday, leaning towards not right now.

Wonderful news corgi!!!

Well done angel with the shagging
My boobage is still aching like mad. Womble feels strange but I think I am imagining it...

Am so fcuked off at work - have had to work each day this week still more to come tomorrow... FFS it is my holiday!!!

My work mates keep me sane just I'm lucky to work with a really great little team that know me really well and are probably in tune with my cycle as much as me! And are always supportive and gutted whenever my af arrives and just as frer mad as you lot when it's late!

kwick that's not on- tell work to eff off? They shouldn't be taking advantage of your good nature by asking you to do stuff. Gx the boobs and womble weirdness are good signs! When is your test date?

cori your work pals sound ace

nova I have told my close family and best friends because I am known for liking a drink at Christmas and they would clock it immediately I know I would tell them if I miscarried and ask them for support so I didn't want to conceal it when I was seeing them lots over Christmas! Do what's right for you though.

I'm an oversharer (only about my stuff) so I'm not surprised that I couldn't keep this a secret...

Unfortunately scottish I cannot tell work to f-off anyway I had to deal with two matters this morning and now I am done and unless there is a major emergency I am not doing anything more until next wednesday (when yes I am still on holiday)...

Boobage ache is rife... I wish this was a good sign but probably just me reacting to progesterone I am sticking up my fanjo twice a day....

scottish mum, sister and 3 closest friends know we're trying so I think I'll tell them sometime between sunday and new year. Same thing really, I'd want them to know if something went wrong. How far do you think you are now? P.S. I'm Scottish too!

kwick your work sounds like my DH's. He's been off all week and they've been on the phone with emergencies every single day!