Lights twinkle, it's icy cold outside, 'tis the season of Yuletide, come and join us - yes you! For this is JS62!

[Ain626]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a <strong>Kitten</strong> = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a <strong>hooya</strong> = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 61 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2701794-Planet-viroid-a-spiritual-home-for-all-of-the-shaggers-Its-JS-61-this-is-going-to-be-the-big-one?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2768810-come-hither-upduffed-viroids-here-we-will-hold-your-hand-through-scans-rejoice-at-your-hairy-shins-and-of-course-share-your-lust-over-ian-mcshane-it-s-js-grads-48" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Sooo have had a weird week girls at work keep saying to me are you pregnant? And have been feeling well slightly peculiar but nothing I couldn't put down to well probably af and general scattyness! But anyway did poas this morning bit early I know and predictably bfn.... However kept thinking there was a so faint I wasn't sure I was seeing things line went off to work came home was tidying up my bedside locker which showed a very definite line on test my sensible head is saying pah it's eight hours later got be evap right? My ttc for like ever head screams buy all the frers so rushed off to boots managed to squeeze out the tiniest wee ever BFN dammit now my head is like fmu? So have NEVER seen a line development later on a test am I deluding myself or what going a bit cray cray here viroids!

Wait for flu and then POAFRER cori!!
Sounds promising...

Fmu obvs

sofia I always feel better if I feel I've 'taken action'. Hopefully the tests will throw up something easily fixable. Remind me- do you have pcos or anything? Is this the first long cycle?

kwick hurrah for ripe follicles! LSGX for tomorrow

corgi hope you're ok

cori oooh! What dpo are you? Does the line have any colour? What type of test? Fmu for definite. Please say you have a frer for the morning? I'm keeping everything crossed for you!

kwick I know nothing about the differences of IVF but I assume they will just tell me what and I won't get a choice?

Bloody hell cori!!!! FMU and a FRER for you!!! LSGX!!!!!

corgi hope everything is ok?

just I guess so... and I guess the type of IVF they do will depend on whether they can pinpoint what is going on. I imagine they will do a stimulated IVF - unless there is something to indicate that you react adversley or not at all to the drugs - this is the strange part for me: when I did stimulated IVF I took 3 types of hormones, max doses, 1-2 each day - I got 2 eggs - 1 that was from a 9mm follicle (did not fertilise, should be over 16mm to do so) and one over 16mm which did fertilise. This cycle of stimulated IUI I am taking less than half the amount of drugs yet have a 20mm follicle (biggest ever) and a 17mm one - well over the line

Right need to try and sleep some more, today is a big day!

Wow it's been busy! I started the new Fred and disappeared for a bit - crazy busy at work - Come back to find lots of exciting things going on!

Congrats Scottish !!!

And congrats to Just. I want to get myself on the IVF list too. GX I can soon....

Welcome to all the newbies. It's good to see you all.

I had a FC appointment this week - still not happy with my weight. Had a go at them as their promise to get me a dietitian appointment (to help with the PCOS weight struggles) wasn't sorted out. Doctor I saw this time promised to do it herself and I received a copy of the letter sent to my GP and the letter sent to the dietitian directly yesterday. Hopefully will actually amount to something this time. I've also had a HSG appointment booked in for in a couple weeks time and my next FC appointment to talk about the results of the HSG booked in for beginning of Feb. Feels like I achieved something, but that it's still a painfully slow process. I know a big factor of it is my weight, but I honestly am trying. They didn't seem to care that my clothes are smaller, that people think I'm smaller... The numbers on the scale is all they care about. I need to up the ante. But motivation is a big issue. It feels like nothing I do is good enough. I need to get out of the 'it's not good enough so give up' mind set and in to the 'it's not good enough so try harder' mind set. Which I have to admit I'm struggling with right now.

Jeez it's all going down on here isn't it

Kwick good luck for today, gx it all goes well.

Just fab news that you're on the list, & 2-3 months is no time at all to wait. Would you consider doing acupuncture with the ivf? I know the lady I go to works with lots of clients going through treatment.

Cori absolutely everything is crossed for fmu.

Corgi I hope everything is ok with you my lovely

Had about 4 glasses of wine last night & my head is busting

Ain it's so unfair that they only go by bmi But if your clothes are smaller & everyone's noticing weight loss then you are doing good enough, more than good enough. Keep telling yourself that & gx the scales will say the same soon.

just yes the line was very definitely blue it was a cb test and I am now 10/11 dpo I have used every ounce of restraint (helped by the fact I'm at my grandads for the weekend) and not poas this morning as my period is due Tuesday my sensible head thinks it is prudent to wait and see my ttc head thinks I'll cave tomorrow!!

Ooh Cori exciting times!!!

Hahaha oh pud what a stupid Dh I have! So it's a long story- essentially for some reason he is putting random nihilisty sounding captions on all his photos for reasons known to himself; I think he is jealous that I post the same photos but get more likes anyway I will point out to him that that one sounds a bit miscarriagey! All is well with us so far, keeping my gx crossed for Thursday's dating scan.
Sorry everyone else who isn't familiar with how bonkers my Dh is!

Scottish pink tinged cm could be implantation. Stay calm but maybe a tiny little bit excited. Wasn't implying you were a wimp at all in my last post btw, was referring to my ridiculously superstitious self....
Late for work, will catch up later!

Ain welcome back!!! I hear you about weight struggles with PCOS. Have you looked into Inofolic? It is a supplement, you can buy online and is said to help with weightloss and fertility for those with PCOS - I have been on it for a couple of months now.

corgi glad to hear all is well

I am waiting outside treatment room trying to figure out if I have drunk enough water... so that my FULLY MOBILE womble lies flat for the IUI.

Phew! Glad you are okay Corgi. Please tell ANXIETY at your DH on my behalf for the small heart attack he gave me!

Kwick Gx!!!

Coribeth Eep! Well done on the restraint though!

Fx kwick and cori

Glad all OK corgi

ain sorry it feels like everything is going so slow - I'm sure the scales will catch up with your hard work at some point but it must feel very unfair right now.

just I've never been diagnosed with pcos, but I guess we'll see what the tests show. I've never had a cycle this long before, but my cycles have been generally messed up since I stopped bf a year ago. Have been hoping they'd settle, but instead they've just gone more weird

Wow, busy few days!

I'm very excited to see what tomorrow's (or today's) poas brings for you cori

just congrats on the ivf referral. TTC is such a lesson in patience isn't it I have none of it.

My DH is very sick. Can't tell if it's just a virus or a flare up of pancreatitis. Having to remind him to check his blood sugar every few hours so I'm having a wonderfully interrupted sleep on the couch. Just convinced myself my pee smells funny and I surely must be knocked up. More likely just sleep deprived

Congrats on the ivf referral just! Exciting!!

scottish i had a 6 week and 10 week scan with DD. I was also due my smear test the week after my bfp but i had to cancel it as i was pregnant. Might be worth just mentioning to your GP or MW?

cori gx with testing!

So after no AF for 19 months, I am on CD1! Which will make TTC number 2 easier! Now i just need more sleep!

I've decided to do something positive instead of moping around worrying about why af has disappeared. So this morning I started c25k. Fx it makes a difference!

Wow nova does wee-wee change smell when upduffed???? Blimey another thing to look out for
Sorry to hear about DH

What is c25k sofie?

kwick Couch to 5k - it's a running program to slowly build up to being able to run 5 kilometres without stopping. It takes around 30 minutes 3 times a week. Today I ran for 60 secs then walked for 90 secs eight times - I've got an app that tells me when to run and when to walk. It doesnt sound like much, but hopefully in a couple of months I'll be a bit fitter, which should be good for me

nova it's not dh's pee you're smelling is it? Hope he's on the mend soon!

I have been reading but not posting!

Congratulations Scottish 😀

I don't remember my pee smelling different when pregnant but I also don't remember smelling it that much either!

I need to do c25k will look into it in the new year, for now I am putting dieting on hold as I just want to eat food. I will be back to it in the new year 👌

So ds who is 2 has forced our hands by climbing out of his cot so we are off to buy a big boy bed this afternoon!

kwick the internet told me about the pee smell thing.... so it must be true!

sofie I've very much avoided using the same bathroom as DH! I'm probably just dehydrated tbh.

Had a lovely weekend: IUI, Wagamamma's (normally do not like much but i actually enjoyed what I ordered yesterday), Rogue One, nephew sleepover, cosy time this morning, yummy lunch at mum's, then watched Genisys (Terminator franchise), homemade mince pies, brisk walk and the best bit: I am on vacation tomorrow (we will forget about call I have at 11am).

kwick I love wagamamas 🍜 what did you order?

So poas this morning bfn but not convinced I'm out yet had two glasses of wine at grandads and had to concentrate on not throwing up half the night had a glass of Port today and feel very sick which is pretty much what happened with dd either that or I have very weird bug that objects to alcohol!

I'm also a big fan of wagamamas. Well, one particular dish!

Love your optimism cori, when is the witch due?

I got a faint line on an internet cheapie just now then realised they expired last month I'm my own worst enemy sometimes!