Lights twinkle, it's icy cold outside, 'tis the season of Yuletide, come and join us - yes you! For this is JS62!

[Ain626]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a <strong>Kitten</strong> = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a <strong>hooya</strong> = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 61 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2701794-Planet-viroid-a-spiritual-home-for-all-of-the-shaggers-Its-JS-61-this-is-going-to-be-the-big-one?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2768810-come-hither-upduffed-viroids-here-we-will-hold-your-hand-through-scans-rejoice-at-your-hairy-shins-and-of-course-share-your-lust-over-ian-mcshane-it-s-js-grads-48" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

So sorry kwik. Please take care of yourself

Oh kwick I'm so so sorry

kwick so sorry, how terrible

Kwick so sorry to hear your news thinking of you

Oh kwick that really is awful, I'm so so sorry that you are having to go through all of this again. You are so strong and brave, just remember to be kind to yourself.

Oh kwick lovely I'm so sorry. Devastating

Oh no Sofie, Kwick I'm so sorry. Look after yourself lovely.

Sorry Sofie I missed your news, what an awful time - big hugs

CD1 for me today. Trying to look on the bright side here, at least I won't be 9 months pregnant/just given birth at my best mate's wedding! Gx this month is better for us viroids.

singing loving your optimism.

I've spent today eating crap and watching movies with my bestie. Fresh start on Monday. Back to work, eat better, exercise, more sleep, start taking folic acid again, stop feeling sorry for myself etc etc.

Hey viroids. Sending lots of love to those who are having a horrible time.

DS is poorly so we are on the sofa watching Peppa Pig.

Singing /Cali you were due around same time as me last time :) lovely to see you back. How are you getting on?

That sounds like a good plan Nova, that gives me 2 days and an evening to consume as much crap as possible, together with a wine or three.

Getting on well thanks La, DS is 20 months now, can't quite believe it! How are you? Sorry to hear your DS is poorly, we're getting bug after bug in this house, mixed in with a dash of teething! Bring on Spring!

Kwick I am so very sorry. I hope you are being well looked after and doing as ok as can be expected. Huge hugs and
Also for Sofie, I am really sorry pet.
Please look after yourselves and Nova you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself as long as you need to! We are here for handholding/bellowing at the moon as required

corgi I hadn't considered bellowing at the moon! I can see the moon from our balcony....

I've had my first drink in months tonight. Will be ready for bed by 9pm hah!

We've had a bad few days of high temps. DS had febrile convulsion last night and I had to call ambulance. Spent 6 hours in a&e with a naked child trying to get temp down. Chest infection, inflamed tonsils and slight ear infection. Temp was hitting 39+ all day yesterday and 40 when he had the convulsion. Hopefully he's on the mend now. I need a stiff drink!

Oh no La that must've been horrible! My friend's son had the same recently. Hope he's feeling better soon, poor wee puddin. for you!

Anyone due to test soon? I'm sitting here with period pain, keenly awaiting to feel excited vicariously through another viroid's bfp please!

That sounds awful la :(

Oh kwick I am so sorry to hear that! What shitty news! 😓

la your poor ds! Fx he is on the mend!

And now I'm ill! Argh!

Shivering and shaking and knackered but quite likely going to be up all night with DS who is still poorly. I'd say send gin but I'm not sure I could drink it.

How's everyone?

How awful la! You must be shattered
Get well soon.

Oh no La! Regular paracetamol and honey and lemon are my top remedies for nasty viruses. Can your OH help out with DS overnight so you can rest?

La that's rotten! Hope you feel better soon. Get yourself wrapped up, thick socks and right under the duvet. Had the shivers last month and it was awful! Strangely I could only eat digestive biscuits Hope your DH can do the majority of tonight's shift.

Kwick I am so sorry to hear your news, it must be devastating after a promising scan before. Please look after yourself.

Sophie big hugs, it's bloody miserable.

Name 37 weeks?! That's crazy, good luck.

La we've all been bug after bug too in our house, it has been pretty gross. Hope you feel better soon.

Nova I hope you are looking after yourself and that first drink went down OK.

For your friend with the clotting disorder, she should definitely let her GP know she is TTC and possibly get referred to a specialist, depending on what clotting disorder it is, there is varying treatment recommended, some of which starts on very early pregnancy. For me, I just get heparin injections post birth, which obviously doesn't help when I miscarry, but that's why I am on the trial, to help get more info on my clotting situation and the link to MC. Standard advice that does help is to stay properly hydrated and keep mobile. You're more at risk of DVT so flight socks and leg exercises are recommended for long haul flights or if you're in bed ill. Some consultants recommend low dose aspirin when you are TTC, some don't, I actually haven't been taking it this time on the advice of prof Quenby, who is one of the leading professors in this area but it may be different in your friend's case. One other thing I was told, and have no idea if it has any truth in it, is that the cod liver oil/omega 3 vitamin capsules are good for guarding against clots. I am pretty sure there's no scientific fact in that but I have been taking the pregnancy vitamins with the added oil capsules! Hopefully your friend won't have any issues and it'll all be irrelevant.

I had a dream last night that I got so anxious I just turned up at the hospital and insisted they did another scan immediately. I think I'm getting nervous about the scan on Tuesday. I'm desperately trying to practice a bit of Kwicks PMA and stop myself from going insane.