DP and I had a chat and decided that now is a good time to jump aboard the baby train. I hate my job and want to retain. But a year back at uni and a couple of years in a graduate role would push kids further down the line than either of us would like, because DP has a low sperm count which I assume will only get worse with age. And I worry about us being old and tired and not engaging with DC fully. And we want more than 1, etc. -- I won't go into all the reasons here.
So I think it would be good if I had #1 asap and retrained after. To be honest I would have liked to have been pregnant already but things were on shaky ground with my job for the last year or 2. My job is now dull and not well paid but I can tolerate it, and there is a decent parental leave package. I am saving as much money as I can in the meantime to make sure we have a comfortable buffer.
The trouble is that I have a disability and I was never formally diagnosed. Or if I was, no one told me the name. My own research tells me that this disability is either hereditary or completely random. So I would like to see someone (who??) about getting to the bottom of this and maybe someone who specialises with disabled mothers and pregnancies? If it is a random occurrence then we can throw away the condoms. If not, well, I don't really know what my options are or where to turn to for help and guidance.
DP suggested that I go see the GP but I'm not sure. I think I will, but I was hoping I could speak to someone who had been through similar who could offer advice.
I'm having a lot of feelings and struggling to articulate them. I really want to start a family but I don't want to risk having a disabiled child simply because I was too impatient. This draft saw many revisions so apologies if I am coming across as cold or a bit simple.