Very personal question.Should i ask ?

[private]

Have changed my name for this incase it is received in the wrong way.
My lovely neighbour is 40 this year.
She is one of the most maternal people you could ever meet.I really mean thet.She just clicks with all things to do with babies and children.They have just bought a huge house opposite us (where in smaller house next door )
This lovely neighbour has always been upfront about how she adores children-she spoils mine and all the others in the street .She always mainted that her dh didnt want any children until he met our ds and maybe he might change his mind.Anyhow i heard a rumour a few years ago that they were unsuccessful at ivf - maybe just a rumour and totally not my business anyway. She said something the other day when i was praising how lovely their new house was-she said that without children it felt like an empty shell. It made me so sad because i felt she really wanted to be a mum and i still realise it is none of my business anyway. The point is i would hate to find out in 5 years when it is too late that they didnt choose not to have children if there was something i could have done.I would gladly donate my eggs and dh his swimmers.
As they have become such good friends i would hate to offend them by offerring esp if they really dont want kids.
Should i forget it and mind my own business or somehow say that they should ask if we can donate ect.

Much as I think you mean well, could you really watch someone bring up your biological child? You may be able to donate to someone else, which means she can jump the queue, but that is a huge step forward from where you are now. I would keep out of it to be honest.

private, that is very altruistic of you. Think long and hard about this before jumping in. As I understand the rush for women to have children post 35 is to do with egg quality rather than ability to carry a pregnancy so in that sense there's not such a rush. How sad for the poor lady. x

Private, maybe you could mention somehting in conversation, not directed directly at her...maybe say something like you read something about surrogacy or egg donation, blablabla...basically opening the way for them if they want to take that route, iykwim...but only obviously do this if you are sure, etc...not sure if that made sense at all.

Thats what i was leaning towards . Think ill just leave it and if the moment ever is right might just do as lovehearts said and mention that i was interested in donating . Ill just zip it.
Thanks for your honesty.

I think you need to sensitively find out more. Not quite clear of your relatonship as she has made some passign coments to you but hasn't discussed her possible IVF with you directly. can you have few chats (over coffee type of conversations) where you get a bit closer to what the issues is. For some people it is not gettign preg that is the issue, it is more a case of the ability to carry a child and/or existing health conditons that would become worse if she she were pregnant. In that case an offer of sperm and egg would not be enough. Also they may already be thinking about adoption.

That said i do think that you and DP are being very altruistic and caring thinking about their needs.
x