Decisions, decisions

[AnneJones]

As I mentioned on another thread this afternoon, I'm new to all this and at the moment am pulled between my hormones ("go on! go on! start trying for a baby!") and my brain ("you want to do what?!")

Could I ask how you all decided it was the right time for you?

Anne

Don't think there is ever a right time! I just figure that if you keep putting it off until you have got your life sorted, you will never do it... Plus you're in denial for the first few months until you can feel the baby move and even after the birth, you go through times of thinking "Did I do the right thing?". Ds was 1 on Friday and I still feel like I'm living someone else's life occasionally!

It's never the right time!

DH and I were ttc for 18 months, went through loads of invasive tests etc, and when we did conceive it was still a total shock! suddenly we started thinking "oh my God, our lives will totally change!" Of course it's too late to say that then, we had plenty of time to think about that while we were ttc, but it never really crosses your mind! Of course we're thrilled now, it's just that initial "Oh my God!"

I guess it all depends on your age, relationship, money, career etc. At 36 I did feel it was now or never. There's never enough money, but hey, we'll cope, and career wise, well there's never a right time for that either! I hope you come to a happy decision soon, either way.

My other dilemma is trying to figure out whether I want a baby because I loathe my job or whether I realy do want one! If I didn't loathe my job I think we'd leave it another 18 months tbh. I just don't know f it's worth finding a new job (actually, switching careers) when I think we'll be wanting to think of starting a family quite soon after I do.

My Mum says I'm unsatisfied cos it's the right time to start a family (she's keen!) but actually I've hated my career for a while now.

You're probably right, there isn't a 'right time' really.

Well, I hated my previous job so moved and fell pg just after my 6 month probation period finished. I will (hopefully) be having another run of maternity leave at the end of this year. I wish I'd done it whilst I was in the job I didn't like as I'm worried about the long-term effect it will have on this job... Plus you don't get maternity leave if you have been working at a place for less than a year when the baby is born so you need to be careful about timings if you do move first...

Thanks Anniemac!!

Ach you all sound like my mother now!!

Thanks ladies. Sadly I have a hunch she and you are all correct. The maternity benefits here are great too. Though if it takes me a while to conceive the job might drive me nuts. Hey ho. It is never straightforward, is it?

ps Congrats Mumpbump!

One day 2 years ago I woke up and it was like a body clock switch had been flicked. All I wanted was to start a family and it suddenly became top of the list. I think everyone's different but for me it became something I really want quite quickly.

I'm with the school of "just do it !!" everyone is right, if you try and plan it all logicaly,then you would probably never have a baby!!
Personaly we just stopped being careful and i concived my first daughter the same month!
and this time around we stoped being careful this month!! and so am just waiting to see,but if we worried about everything then i would never of tried at all.
However that dosn't mean that when i did my pregnacy test with my daughter that i didn't sit on the loo and cry because i felt so strange about it all,so its true that no matter how much you want to have a baby its quite a shock when it actualy happens!
Good Luck and go for it !! xxx

You could try ditching the contraception and seeing what happens.

The first month when your period arrives, see if you're relieved or disappointed..

Of course, it may not arrive. .

Sorry, I didn't answer the question. I was adamant for years that I didn't want kids. Then one day I was idly watching some (not terribly appealing or well-behaved) kids in church, and caught myself thinking "oh I want one". My body clock kicked in I guess.

Unfortunately it took a year to convince dh and another year to conceive. So my advice is, start now, don't wait until you're desperate.