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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Anyone trying to avoid connceiving a July/Aug baby?

49 replies

T0ddlerSlave · 23/09/2016 14:25

I'd always assumed I'd find conceiving reasonably easy and could choose roughly when to have DC. Worked fine for dc1 but have recently had a miscarriage with dc2 and now I'm looking at potentially having a baby in July/Aug.

Lots of studies suggest this can put them at a big disadvantage, but as I'm looking at a 3.5 age gap already I'm not sure I want to wait.

I know it's mad to try and plan, and I could still be trying a year from now, but is it reasonable to wait a couple of months just to save my future DC from struggling in the future?

OP posts:

Longlost10 · 23/09/2016 19:55

There are advantages and disadvantages to what very time of year you have your birthday. I am an August born, and very happy about it. There are NO long term educational disadvantages at all. There may be some sporting advantage, as you will get more attention and input as the biggest in your year group, but if your child is sporty, let them learn and develop in outside clubs as well! Incidently, the cut off date for many sports catagories put summer borns at an advantge.

I think you would be very silly to try and avoid having a summer baby. What if you go on never to conceive again at all, and spend the rest of your life wondering if one of those two months you wasted could have been the one that worked?

FATEdestiny · 23/09/2016 19:56

I'm exactly the same op. It only really works if you conceive easily. I have three children with September birthdays due entirely to me aiming for Sept-Dec babies.

Whilst appreciate that many struggle to conceive so cannot aim for any birth month, and many children are born prematurely, I don't understand the mentality of not trying to give your child an advantage if you can.

Essexgirlupnorth · 23/09/2016 19:57

Took me 16 months to get pregnant the first time so by the end I didn't care less when the baby would be due. Ended up with an October baby by luck.
Going to start TTC again soon would consider avoiding having a December birth as husbands family have a cluster of birthdays around Christmas but wouldn't avoid having a summer baby.

Lovelyideas · 23/09/2016 19:58

Suffering summer born here
But I agree with everyone else, you cannot predict. ..... Every child has challenges, statistics do not tell you about individuals, etc

Good luck ttc

PalaceGirl · 23/09/2016 20:00

My daughter is born in July and the best but is that there is only 2 school years difference between her and my son even though they are 2 years 10 months apart.

Original poster

T0ddlerSlave · 23/09/2016 20:09

Hum ho, it's a toughie.

Think I might go with my gut and wait for first period in the next few weeks and crack on.

Having a birthday near Christmas is a bother for life, and i don't know how long it'll take. A quick conception with DC1 when I was late 20s is no indication of how long it'll take now.

OP posts:

missy111 · 23/09/2016 20:10

I did!! He was due end of sept, sadly he had other ideas and was born at the beginning of August!!

lousylear · 23/09/2016 20:15

I avoided with my 3. This time I don't care. As a teacher you can often pick out the summer babies in a reception class. But by year 1/2 they are often fine. And I have to say some of the brightest kids I've taught have been summer babies so I wouldn't worry if I were you. Just hard being pg when it's hot.

Livelifefortoday · 23/09/2016 20:16

I was December born and hated having a birthday right before xmas. My siblings were summer born and I was always envious of their summer birthdays. They both had slightly better gcse and a level results too. This was one of the reasons that my children are summer born. It hasn't caused a problem with either and from what their teachers have said, the month of birth becomes irrelevant at some point in first school anyway. All babies are little miracles regardless of month of birth.

IndiansInTheLobby · 23/09/2016 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CannotEvenDeal · 23/09/2016 20:20

Yes, this definitely crossed my mind. I wouldn't say it's put us off completely from ttc in the autumn/winter but as a teacher it's definitely at the back of my mind.

Probably because I'm a September born

Original poster

T0ddlerSlave · 23/09/2016 20:25

Does anyone think it's less of a disadvantage when its second (or later) child, so they are likely to be learning from their older sibling and possibly more 'robust' and socially ready for school?

OP posts:

Thelastusername · 23/09/2016 20:29

My due-in-September baby turned out to be an August baby. She's just as amazing as if she'd been born a week later!

theothersideoftheworld · 23/09/2016 20:33

I have an August boy. I had 3 miscarriages before him so I was just grateful for a happy healthy boy. The fact that that he is fabulous is an extra bonus!
He's just started reception too and loving it.

Warl · 23/09/2016 20:40

My daughter was due in September, arrived 3 weeks early at the end of August.... I know face the dilemma of sending her to school next year at 4 years & 1 week old & worrying if I've done the right thing throughout her school life if she struggles or the dilemma of starting a battle with the council to defer her a year to start at compulsory school age, another battle if they want to move her back up at any stage & worrying again if I've done the right thing for the rest of her school life. It's the one thing I've thought about every day since she was born so I'm with you, if you can avoid it do!! On the flip side she was the result of a 3 year infertility battle so the fact that I even have her far outweighs the date she was born

Warl · 23/09/2016 20:42

Oh & you will always find 'so&so was an August baby & they were fine' it's not the slightest bit of comfort! The fact of it is someone always has to be the youngest but when it's your child thats the hard part!

remem · 23/09/2016 20:44

I think this is silly. Who knows how long it will take you to get pregnant... the months you "avoided" because you don't want a summer baby, might have been the only months you could have conceived.
I'm a secondary school teacher and I guarantee you that it makes NO difference to their educational ability by the time they reach secondary school.
And like previous posters have said - my ds who was born very end of August 2014, is way ahead of where ds1 was at the same age and that's in part to do with having an older sibling, my experiences and his own natural intelligence and ability.

It's almost like you're taking the risk with your own fertility - expecting to fall pregnant when you want. It doesn't always work like that.

Shantotto · 23/09/2016 20:48

If you are worried about school and being behind you know you can request that your child starts in reception - or even straight to year 1 but that's not ideal - at 5, compulsary school age? That is what I am hoping to do for end of July born DS.

There's lots a info out there about it and an incredibly helpful Facebook group.

littlepooch · 23/09/2016 20:50

I would just like another baby full stop. As a long term ttc er, I would not care one bit if I had a summer baby. I'd be grateful whenever he/she was born. My DD is a November baby but that was by chance, 16 months in and with 2 MCs and i just wanted to be pregnant.

My sister is an August birthday and she's done better than me academically and career wise. It didn't seem to affect her at all.

I guess if you know you fall pregnant easily and are really concerned then wait :)

Whyisitsodifficult · 23/09/2016 20:55

We purposely avoided ttc for an July/August baby, which was bloody hard as had had multiple miscarriages and were desperate to have another. I have seen how some summer borns struggle in those early years of school. Each to their own and it's very hard to start using contraception when you've been actively trying for so long. Good luck op.

nennyrainbow · 23/09/2016 20:56

I thought the law had changed so you could defer entry anyway and then start reception a year later. Making your August born child one of the oldest in the class instead of one of the youngest.

I actually wanted a summer born child. My birthday is in January and I hate having a winter birthday. For me the only month worse than January to have a birthday would be December.

Shantotto · 23/09/2016 21:11

It's not changed yet - it has been proposed but it's got to spend years going through until it's actually made to happen. And even then it might not!

skyyequake · 23/09/2016 21:17

I'm the eldest child, born in July and did great in school. In actual fact, at my secondary school, there was a strange trend of those born in September, October, July and August did very well (not a hard and fast rule, just a trend)

DD was born in July last year and I don't see why it would hold her back! I was actually quite happy she was a summer baby, it's a lovely time of year to have a birthday! Plus school doesn't last forever!

skyyequake · 23/09/2016 21:19

Forgot to add - if you feel that your body needs a break then its totally ok to wait a month or two... You don't need an excuse!

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