What's the funniest/weirdest/stupidest euphemism you've heard/used for your period?

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I've never used Aunti Flo. Does anyone have an Auntie Flo? Does she mind?

Looking for some light relief from TTC!

Yep. Think it's 1920's public school argot.

Got a poorly tummy when you wee wee.

I was 12, I thought my Nan had gone senile.

Oh, Pernod week. In that if you put the i near the r in period, it makes an n.

My flatmate used to say 'Peter's home!'. Luckily we didn't know anyone called Peter, but is v odd. But I use it all the time now!

lol at these ! but at school some of the girls used to call it ' the curse' - yikes!

Oh, my step-mother calls it the curse! I remember her earnestly telling a friend of hers "it really is a curse, you know", he looked like he might prefer not to know about all that

I like the Russians are invading - presumably we can substitute with other security threats, like al-Quaeda?!

The Brits have invaded !
Comes from the time when the British soldiers' uniform was red.

i LOVED that list!

i'm having ketchup with my steak!.........brilliant!

and.............anal sex week!

Ah yes, 'the curse' was standard 80s boarding school argot.
Never heard of this AF stuff until MN thogh.
Is it unique to this board??

my dh calls its my lady week

we used to say "I'm on"

met some posh girls at college who used to call it "the curse" which amazed me - thought that had gone out in the 50s!

Had a boyfrined who used to refer to me as being "on the blob" which was particularly revolting...

I had never heard of Auntie Flo either!

I remember being asked if it was my time of the month when I didn't go swimming once when I was 12 and feeling soooo grown up

i used to say " i'm blobbing!"

you are right though! that does sound revolting!

My work colleague recounted the tale of her kids seeing a tampon for the first time. 'What's that Mum?' Friend replies 'a mouse!' Hence we got ...... having a Mouse in the House!!!!!!!! LOL

My nan says 'have you got your little friends?' and there was a welsh girl at my work who used to say she has got her flowers???

My dh and his friends - when they were students - used to call it - her dirty week....

'dirty week'!
God how awful.
Famous Cosmopolitan article written by well known feminist in the 70s entitled 'If men menstruated..'
Jist of it was that they would be boasting to all and sundry about how long and heavy their periods were,how many tampons they got through and so on.

More than a grain of truth in it I think.

got the painters and decorators in!

I've seen AF on other conception website forums. Poor women called Florence - it's a lovely name!
These are great - keep them coming!
Are there any specific regional variations do you think? Or good ones from other languages?

Depending on my mood, she is known by me as either the Old Bag or Her Ladyship... and whichever one she is, she's "in tow".

someone who lived in my halls of residence used to call it Marion after Maid Marion - wtf? I asked her what the connection was and she said it was a code she and her mate made up. Now I think of it, she had a thing for that Bryan Adams track which was the theme tune for Robin Hood. Used to play it over and over again ..............aggrrrrhhh
Disturbing homicidal thoughts are returning.

Ahhhh so that's what AF means! Been wondering for ages.

My DH asks if i'm 'Bloody and diseased' Nice!

My DH calls it 'stroppy cow week'

I wonder why!?

Knew someone whose dh used to call it "unclean" - he was a Moslem. Don't know if that's significant or not.

is "menses" medical or old-fashioned?