I am in a happy and steady relationship with what I could only describe as my soulmate. I have felt ready for another baby but not been in a position to, for at least 3 years. I brought it up to my partner about 3 months ago after reading a book called "surrendering to motherhood" which explained in perfect terms what I had been feeling. Before this relationship I was a single mother for 6 years, I know the unpredictability and overwhelming fulfilment that motherhood provides, my daughter is living proof that I know what I'm doing. I'm often told that we're the perfect duo.
The important part is that my partner says he wants children just "not yet." With no timeframe in mind, I'm left in limbo. Every time I've gently tried to bring it up he just smiled and says "stop it." I understand that he is worried, but parenthood is unpredictable and I feel bad for bringing it up like I'm being selfish.. But motherhood is the most selfless thing I think you can possibly do!!
I feel like me asking to grow, create and love his child and bring child into the world to love and nurture for the rest of my life is quite an admiral request. I feel like maybe he's being the selfish one my depriving me of that fulfilling experience :(
I'm not sure where to go from here...