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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after late miscarriage, neonatal death, or stillbirth?

42 replies

AgainPlease · 11/08/2016 18:11

Anyone out there? Could really use some support after having lost my son recently and trying to move forward with getting pregnant again...

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Alb1 · 22/08/2016 10:27

Hello, I fell of the thread as I'm busy moving house at the minute. How is everyone doing? I should be ovulating today or tomorrow but I can't get even a hint of a line on an opk nether mind a positive, thinking maybe the house moving stress is stopping things this month, having to repack all the baby things is really getting me down Sad

Original poster
AgainPlease · 22/08/2016 10:49

Felt some period pains last night so thinking I'm getting AF in the next couple of days but I'm guessing my periods will still be all over the place since giving birth so not entirely sure. I might just be constipated Grin

Stay as strong as you can while packing baby's stuff up. A glass or three of wine should help xx

I watched a documentary on Orca whales last night and a baby whale was removed from its mother at SeaWorld because it was being too disruptive during live shows so it was to be moved to another park and the mummy whale just stayed in one corner of the pen crying out for her baby for days afterwards. I was a complete wreck and crying all night for my lost son but I know he is in heaven thinking how silly his mum is at crying at a Netflix documentary!

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Alb1 · 22/08/2016 10:59

That sounds so sad! I understand though, random things can set you off. My body has been so confused since giving birth, I stopped bleeding after 4 weeks, got a period 2 weeks later and my cycles have gone straight back to 28days but just havnt felt 'fight' until the last one, and I have the talent of being able to get a positive result on frer pregnancy tests every time despite blood tests and a scan showing I'm not pregnancy, so my body is taking a while to go back normal and just pretending it isn't by the look of it! Had you had your baby's funeral yet? Sorry if you said when it was and iv missed it

Original poster
AgainPlease · 22/08/2016 11:11

How annoying! If we actually had our babies with us, waiting for our periods to come back would be the last things on our mind! But it's all we can think about and monitor. Life can be very cruel.

Baby's funeral is this afternoon actually. I'm ok with it all at the moment because it just doesn't feel real right now. Last night after the whale documentary I started thinking about my son and then DH and I just hugged each other and cried because we knew tomorrow (today) would be one of the shittest in our lives but something we have to do and something we will look back on with a sense of calm in later years.

Can a time machine just whisk me to 10 years in the future where I'm happy again and a bunch of happy and healthy kids running around?!

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Alb1 · 22/08/2016 14:10

Il be thinking of you both this afternoon, have you invited people or is it just you and DH? We already look back on our DDs with a sense of calm, it was horrible but saying goodbye is so important. I hope it all goes smoothly for you Flowers

Original poster
AgainPlease · 23/08/2016 12:38

Hi alb it was just the two of us. The less people know the better. I don't want everyone to feel sorry for me.

I just think thank god I hadn't put a pregnancy announcement on Facebook which has then saved me the shame of putting out another update that our baby has died.

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Countrychick26 · 23/08/2016 20:52

Hi AgainPlease, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a terrible trauma to endure and you have my heartfelt sympathies, as does everyone else who has posted here. It is still very recent so please be gentle with yourself. I can only imagine the rage and frustration you feel if there was something that could have been done to avoid this terrible outcome. My daughter Roisin was stillborn on 3rd September 2015 and I have been TTC since December 2015 with no success so far. I am 39 and I am very fortunate to have 2 dds already. I got bloods done in April and everything was OK, not great but I am 39 so I am realistic. I really thought I would be pregnant by now and with Roisin's first anniversary coming up I am really fed up that 2 years of trying to have a baby (we were ttc for 7 months for Roisin) has yielded only pain and grief and disappointment. It is hard to stay positive and it seems like everyone else in the world is able to have a baby with no problems. Of course I know that lots of people have fertility and pregnancy problems and I don't always feel that negative but I'm just being honest - trying to get pregnant after a fatal outcome is horrible. If I wasn't pushing 40 I think I would just put it off for a few years as my nerves are shot to pieces but I keep thinking 'if if doesn't happen soon it will be too late' - great for reducing stress!! Anyway, I know this probably is no help to you whatsoever, I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I really hope you get pregnant when the time is right for you and that you can learn to incorporate the monody of your son and the short but precious time you had with him into your life as you go forward. xx

Countrychick26 · 23/08/2016 20:58

I just realised that your baby's funeral was yesterday, I'm so sorry. Hugs xx

Original poster
AgainPlease · 25/08/2016 20:48

Welcome countrychick! I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter Roisin. My heart aches for you.

Have you started to think about IVF or other artificial ways to get pregnant?

DH and I are off to France tomorrow for a week of baby-making activity. I don't even think I'm ovulating so I feel it's going to be a waste of time but I can't think like this! If all I think about is periods and ovulation then I'll be doing more harm than good for my mental health.

Speaking of going on holiday to make babies.. Anyone else tried this strategy with their OH or am I just completely mad?

X

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Alb1 · 25/08/2016 21:12

country so sorry about your baby. I can't imagine how stressful it must be to be trying for that long! As it's been over 6 months of ttc have you considered asking the doctor for extra tests or help?

again I'd love to but we just have no time. I hear it's a good strategy though! I hope you have a lovely time

I've bought the clear blue duel hormone ovulation tests for next month, it's expensive but I just want to no either way if I'm ovulating or not. It's only been 3 cycles but I just feel like it's never going to happen, which is crazy I no, I guess the grief must add to the stress

Original poster
AgainPlease · 26/08/2016 21:12

Hi Ladies!

I poas just now and shows I'm two strong lines on ovulation test. I know they give funny results because there is still HCG in our systems but I took a pregnancy test yesterday and the line was barely visible...

Does this mean I am actually ovulating or are the ovulation sticks just very/more sensitive to the HCG hormone?!

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Alb1 · 26/08/2016 21:28

I'm really not sure to be honest! Is it the first opk you've done this week?

Original poster
AgainPlease · 26/08/2016 21:49

Did one two days ago and the line was strong but didn't come as hard and fast as this one.

Or maybe it's just all in my head 😅

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Countrychick26 · 02/09/2016 20:18

How is everyone doing? I'm trying to keep busy as tomorrow is my baby's first anniversary. I'm ok I think. Found her due date and the anniversary of when we received the bad prognosis worse I think. Having said that, I've thought of little else for the past month.... GP said that stress can really affect fertility so to try and relax (meh) and give ourselves another year. I'm starting to think its too hard to go back to babyland. I am very, very lucky to already have 2 dds. Hope you are all doing ok x

Original poster
AgainPlease · 02/09/2016 21:20

Countrychick, I will be thinking of you and your darling baby Roisin all day tomorrow Flowers Flowers xxx

DH and I have started bereavement counselling which has been helpful in terms of knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel although I am still getting impatient and poas everyday alternating between OPKs and pg tests. I will be broke soon!!

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Alb1 · 02/09/2016 21:27

country il be thinking of you tomorrow as well Flowers

10dpo and negative tests still, never got ewcm or a positive opk so i expected it, just finding it tough that it's taking a while, it's only the 4th cycle but it's never taken this long before, I no I've been lucky to get pregnant so quickly before, but I just feel like my body is failing me, this journey is so stressful, I just want to be at the end of it!

again do you think you ovulated in the end?

Original poster
AgainPlease · 07/09/2016 19:15

Hi everyone! I'm very hormonal and started crying earlier today thinking of this thread and all our babies and then all the babies that have left this world prematurely.

I got my period today which I'm almost happy about (and explains why I'm hormonal & emotional) so I can continue to track my ovulation more clearly now that all the hcg hormone is out of my system.

Hope everyone is ok xx

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