When's The Best Time To Get Pregnant Again?

[Autumn78]

My baby is 4 months old and I'm thinking of TTC again next summer (2008), so Kai will be about 2 or 3 when the next one would come along.

But out of interest, I wanted to know did your second or subsequent pregnancies come along?

Or if you?re still on your first, when or if you will start trying for baby number 2?

Or and when do you think is the best time to try for number 2 or and subsequence pregnancies?

To get things started, some people have told me it?s best to get all the sleepless nights out of the way and have all the babies close together. Whilst others have said get the first one out of nappies first or wait until they can dress themselves.

All comments appreciated. Thanks!

Hi Autumn, IMO it is down to the individual parents when they next choose to have their next baby.
You get mixed opinions from different people, & what works for one may not work for another.
I have 6 yrs between my children (I have 2)
I found having a gap worked well for me really, as my 1st child didn't sleep through until he was 2 & half, & I felt exausted! It did put me off for a while too, as he was a rather difficult baby/toddler. But no 2 babies are the same. It was also nice that DS was at school when DD arrived, so I got quality time with DD when she was a baby.

The down side of having a big gap like mine was that I had got rid of all the baby stuff, so had to start again from scratch!

I think you will know when you feel ready to have another one personally.

My 1st was not planned, but 2nd was. I came off the pill in the April & found out I was pg in the September, so it didn't take so long really.

Alot depends on if you work too, & how you will work around them, childcare etc.

I do know though that when they are a little bigger they can be a real big help to you & enjoy being part of helping.

Good luck, hope all goes well.
Kai is such a lovely name too.

the best time is when you feel you are ready to add to your family

there are pros and cons to each

if you wait a long time, then you are starting again , and you are not in baby mode....but when you have a bigger gap, the older one can be more independent..as MusicLover has said

it depends on you too...some people love the baby stage, some don;t, if you don;t then having a small age gap is probably not great!

i also have a 6 year gap..it has worked for us. but now it is a little more difficult as DD is 18 months (today!) and DS is almost 7 1/2...you try finding something to do that they can both be involved in !!

it;s what suits you and your family best .

It is a really personal choice. I have a 2 year none month gap between my two girls who are five and nearly three. I am now trying for a third one. We concieved DD2 within the first month of trying and are on the second month of TTC the third.

You have to do what's right for you are the child. DD1 was very indepedant from a young age and had no concerns when her sister arrived whereas DD2would not have taken to it so well at the same age.

Good luck with your decision.

'nine' not none!

Great comments!! Keep them coming.

in terms of how it affects the kids i perosnally think a small gap is easiest. the older one is les likely to get jealous and can be very accepting. and they do tend to be better company for each other if they're close in age.

be warned though, close gap is very tiring for you during the pregnancy... dealing with a toddler while your huge and unwell feeling is no joke! it does get easier from the second they're born though and when i see the way my two interact (2 and 6 months) i'm glad we did it this way.... not sure i could cope with another anytime soon though!

agree- three years too big i think too much jealousy and angst for older one - i would do around 18-24 months

Great answers ladies, some funny and some heart felt. Thanks!! :-)

Well I got my first AF since conceiving and giving birth to my first (sorry TMI). So things could happen at any time (provided I put down the stick and let DH come near me)LOL

Hi,
I think there are pros and cons on all gaps! For the kids its nice of they are close together because then they are real friends but for us Mums and depending on your lifestyle, how the birth went etc it muight have to be longer!Also if they are close together you can spend your day changing nappies!

I had a very bad emergency caesarian with my first, but managed to go for it to have number 2 son 2 1/2 years later. again I had another bad caesarian and loads of problems. I wanted more but had various things medically to sort out, to the extent that number 3 was after 6 years! The longer gap is in many ways a joy! the other children are old enough to do thiings for themselves, dress etc and they enjoy the youngest too! I guess the youngest is spoiled! Also being older we do appreciate the magic of it all , all over again!

I have managed with all three for them to have solo time at home with Mummy when young and I think this is very important for them and you. So give that thought.
I think whatever you do you will have good days and bad days like us all. but if you want a child and nothihng goes wriong so you manage to have it then be happy...there are so many who have problems!

Loads of luck.

Fiona