I have been in a job I dnt like very much for about 2-3 years. I knew I wanted to find something else but hung on to the job for a year while we waited to be a bit more financially stable before TTC #2 just over a year ago. In that time I have had 3 miscarriages. The last one was in March, and since then we have been been on a break from TTC while we have investigations. I really felt I needed to focus on other things and decided that I can't put my life on hold anymore. I applied for a new job, which I started 3 weeks ago. I feel it's been a good move and I'm enjoying it. It's clear though that they are desperate for some help, my role has been vacant for 4 months and there is a huge backlog to get through.
but our miscarriage investigations are now complete and we will be TTC again this month. I'm feeling really guilty about it. On the one hand I'm very keen to put some effort into my career and do a good job and not let my new team down and help them get back on track.
But I also know how uncertain TTC can be. It always took us a couple of cycles to fall pregnant, and truthfully, In my heart I'm not sure I have any hope of having another baby.... im scared of miscarrying again. And almost expecting it I guess. So I dnt really want to put off trying because I know there are no guarantees and I dnt want to waste time. But I'm still feeling terrible guilt about my new job.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?