help with fertility testing please

[nomoremagnolia]

Posted this in the ttc Feb 07 thread, but actually thought it might be better as a seperate post, so apologies to those who might be getting a sense of deja vu.
I went to docs this am and was discussing ttc with the nurse, she said we could make an appointment to see gp for blood tests and sperm tests as we've been ttc for a year now. (she actually said that they start investigations after 6 months - how good is that?) However - when I spoke to DH about this, he's very reluctant and thinks we should keep trying naturally. I think he's worried about the sperm test (can understand why) but I think we need to know at least that we're producing the egg/sperm in the first place, as otherwise ttc naturally is never going to work.
Anyone got any experience/advice? Should I try to persuade him or do you think he's right?
Background info - I came off the pill over a year ago, have started charting properly this cycle (tried last cycle but xmas got in the way), but we're not doing anything else to 'assist conception' (OPK etc). I'm 28 and he's 27 and we're ttc no1. Oh, and we are bd-ing at the right time, before you ask!

Perhaps he feels that going for tests would represent a shift from simply ttc and having to wait a few months, to there being a potential "problem". I think we are much more used to having our bits routinely prodded and our dignity laid bare. Many men have never had their bits inspected in any way, shape or form. I understand any man feeling nervous about having to give a sperm sample etc etc.

That said, I would view these tests as a positive thing that will give you the information you need to go forward. I have just been along to the GP after ttc for 7 months and have been told we have to wait until a year, even though I am 37.

Of course, it is up to you both, but it's definitely worth talking about. He may well be anxious, so any information you could give him on what would happen, would probably help?

Hi

There is widespread confusion between sexual performance, virility, masculinity and subfertility. Infact there is no such connection, and a man's potency is in no way related to his ability to produce sperms. Your DH needs to realise that; a semen analysis is just that. It's no reflection on his virility!. Also such tests often need to be repeated; one analysis in itself is not fully conclusive.

TBH I would say that both of you should be investigated further as there could be a problem with either one or both of you.

Would not bother at all with temp charting in your circumstances; blood tests are more reliable an indicator of any potential problems with ovulation.

Are your periods regular or irregular?. This is important to consider.

Also bding at the "right time" in the cycle is not a good idea either. Ovulation is not an exact science and ovulation can occur earlier later or not at all in any given cycle. Any rigourous timing of intercourse can put the relationship under strain - would suggest you make love when you both feel like it, not just when you think it could be "ovulation time". BDing two or three times a week throughout the cycle is fine.

If you have been ttc for a year as it is a gynae would like to see you both anyway.

nomoremagnolia:
do we have the same dh? lol! We have been ttc for 7 months now, I am going through testing and re wrote script for him a sperm count and analysis and he wont do it. He can even do it at home and I can get to the lab within an hour but it's not that...he is afraid of the results. Sounds like yours is too. It's some masculine thing, I guess mine thinks that as long as he is producing semen then he is fertile! Men...I swear So... I will go back after charting and get yet another blood test because dh says he wont go until it's been a year:0 I'd like to get a sample while he's sleeping (hmm) Good luck Oh, and sometimes even after 18 months to 2 years, it just happens on it's own. I had a patient the other day at work who said it took 18 months and she finally concieved, that gave me hope!

I now have a lovely mental image of you dressed in a black catsuit hanging from wire trying to get his sample in the middle of night with a helicopter waiting outside and rushing it to docs within the hour!!! (oh I watch too much spooks/bond/hustle/diamond heist programmes!)

Talked some more to dh last night and we've decided to discuss it further in april (he has a big work deadline for the end of march, so he said after that). Only discuss mind, not necessarily go for tests! I agree with beansprout I think as women we're much more used to being poked and prodded than they are, and tbh there are more things that could be wrong with my system than his but gp wants to see us both together, so we'll have to wait til he's ready.

nomoremagnolia: That is tooo funny, we live close to 2 trauma hospitals which have helicopters which could fly the sperm out for me within the hour!!! I have thought about "everything." I could put a condom on him and then steal it and run to the lab at 1:00 a.m.!!! We only have sex late at night because of our jobs, can you see me in my robe standing at the lab desk with the sample!! I have pictured it. But since we are ttc, the condom would be a dead give away!! Good luck to you and wish me luck.