I'd love another baby - but....

[roseylea]

Just thought I'd post this to try and sort my mind out.

In a nutshell, I would really love another baby! We have a dd (aged 4 yo) and a ds (aged nearly 3) and ever since ds was a baby I ahve really longed for another, t the point where I can't even look on these concepton / pg threads as it aches so much.

But...I have Crohns Disease (inflammatory bowel disease) and both dd and ds were prem. The pg with ds was horrible with many bleeds, early breaking of waters (26 weeks) and many stays in hospital until he was born at 35 weeks (safe and well!)

And...we have a 3 bedroomed house, not huge, and not much spare money.

Dh and I had a good chat about the other night and he said he was too worried about the implications for another pg and also our lack of space for a new baby / not enough money to move to a bigger house. He said that he would like another baby, but but but...

His best mate lives in Australia and dh has been daydreaming about moving there. I don't think it's going to happen but dh said that if we were in Oz he wouldn't hesitate to ttc again )as we could afford a bigger house out there, more income etc). I said that IMO the most important thing is having people around us to help and support so we're actually in a better position to ttc in this country as my mum lives nearby and we have friends.

Dh sees it as a money issue first and a health issue (for me) second.

My head kind of agrees but my heart knows what it wants!

Any insights into these thoughts?

Can't really offer any advice as I am still ttc #1 and therefore I have no idea of cost implications, or health implications either. But all I will say is, you and your DH have to make a decision that is right for you both. It might mean one of you has to compromise, but to get there you need to talk and talk and talk.

Hope it all works out for you.

Do you see any kind of bowel specialist? It may well be that there is an improved way of managing your chrohns? Might be worth researching.

As an aside, a friend recently thought about moving out to oz, went out there and actually found that the economy was such that they wouldn't be better off at all. Saying about moving out there sounds like a bit of a bribe to me.

Hello again Ready! I shall stalk you instead!

Yes Flossam, the Crohns is reasonably under control - it's just that there is a much increased risk of miscrriage or prem with crohns. Pg can either make crohns better, worse, or just the same - the figures are pretty much a three-way split. So it is a risk, but you've got a two-thirds chance that it'll stay the same or get better.

I know that I want another baby much, much more than my dh does. I guess because I want one so much I'd be prepared to take the risks of prematurity again, and make do with less money to go round...but I don't know if I'm just living in a fantasy land.

Hi,

I have two girls and also live in a three bed house with little money to spare. I have also longed for another baby for a while.

My first pregnancy ended in a miscaariage at around five months pregnant. My pregnanys with the girls were emotionally very stressful and I found the cervical sutures I had put in very stressful both times. Both girls were unwell at birth due to srep b but thankfully they are fine now.

Despite what I have been through and the fact that we can't afford a bigger home I still want another. DP has agreed to try for a third because we know that the outcome could be something that we both really want.

I also know that even if we are successful in having another baby I will always be broody but it's something I have to control and work on myself as it wouldn't be fiar on the children we have now.

Good luck.

Hi I had 2 teenage children (1 girl, 1 boy rom 1st marriage)in a 3 bedroomed house. I then had another 2 years ago(2nd marriage) and thought I couldnt possibly put a baby in a teenagers room. We couldnt afford to move so we split our master bedroom into 2 small bedrooms. We was able to do this properly as our master bedroom is on a end wall so was able to put a window in the room and i only cost about £1,000. We then moved into what was the second bedroom. We're now trying for our 4th! When my teenagers complain about the size of their room I always remind them that their grandad was 1 of 9 in a 3 bedroomed house!

Just a little note rosylea, ther are 6 of us in one house!! My mum shares with my teenage sister, my brother has a small box room and our ds (3.9) shares with us!! Very crowded but wouldnt change it for the world. We are hoping to convert attic in few years to make more room then maybe try for number 2. Goodluck with the future.

Ps My mum has always said that you can always make room for one more if its needed xx