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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

becoming an egg donor

24 replies

chicadee · 03/01/2007 18:17

I've decided to become an egg donor. I already have wonderful dd, I'll be too old to donate next year, and I can't think of any reasons not too. A friend of mine needs an egg for IVF so I've offered to become a donor, in this way she gets someone else's egg sooner. I was just wondering if anyone has experience of this and what to expect?

OP posts:

rahrah1 · 03/01/2007 19:29

Sorry no experience, but it's a mega thing that you are doing for your friend. People that don't have fertility problems often can not relate, so to give the biggest gift of all to another person is fantastic.... Wishing you and your friend all the best and hope the donation goes well....with a lovely baby as a result....

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/01/2007 20:22

Hi chicadee

I would suggest you also look at the HFEA (Human fertilisation and Embroyology) website which is www.hfea.gov.uk. There is also more information contained there re egg donation along with links to other sites.

uwila · 03/01/2007 20:28

Wow, you are a bigger person than I am. I could never donatte an egg. I would feel it was my child, and I don't thinkI could live with someone else haveing my child. It is a lovely thing you are doing... and probably you are are a very rare and special friend.

Pruni · 03/01/2007 20:33

Message withdrawn

Original poster

chicadee · 03/01/2007 21:36

Thanks for your answers. I am not donating eggs to my friend, I'm donating to whoever is on the list looking for my 'type' but she then gets an 'unknown' egg from someone else. I think. It's early days and we havn't sorted out any details yet. But neither of us want her to have my eggs as that would feel odd.

Pruni - do you know if downregulation gives you all the menopause symptoms like hot flushes and moodyness etc?

Uwila, someone else asked me if it would feel like 'my child' and I've thought about it alot, and it wouldn't. I feel that whoever gets gets to grow it with their dh's sperm(and feel sick and tired and not sleep and all the rest) then give birth (and have the ups and downs of looking after a newborn) is the mother in every way.

OP posts:

Pruni · 03/01/2007 21:38

Message withdrawn

kittylette · 03/01/2007 21:39

its a wonderful thing to do,

im going to be a surrogate 'womb' for my SIL in a few years

its a huge thing, and you have to think of the reprocusions, especially now that the children can contact you,

but if you feel you can do it, then go for it

its an amazing gift

Original poster

chicadee · 03/01/2007 21:45

So I'm guessing Pruni you've donated or you've had IVF? I hope it has worked for you..
I'm tough I can handle symptoms like that for a short time. But it makes me wonder, would it be better to do this in spring before the weather gets too hot? I imagine hot flushes in the middle of a heatwave (and school hols) would be pretty grim.

I don't know what iirc means.

Good for you Kittlette, being a surrogate is a really generous thing to do.

OP posts:

Pruni · 03/01/2007 21:52

Message withdrawn

Pruni · 03/01/2007 21:53

Message withdrawn

Original poster

chicadee · 03/01/2007 21:57

My mother is having hot flushes, has been for years, she has nice fans she uses like an edwardian lady. I might borrow one.

I understood that 'completing your family' was not a deal breaker. Is that not the case? Sorry for the 20 questions, when I looked online I got rather wooly contradictory information.

OP posts:

Pruni · 03/01/2007 22:03

Message withdrawn

kittylette · 03/01/2007 22:05

TBH the thought of it TERRIFIES me, but i gotta do it, ive been preparing mentally for a few years, still have a few to go and will get some professional help too

it will be so worth it though

Impatience · 04/01/2007 11:43

Chicadee and Kittlette, you're amazing! My ds is not biologically mine, but he is as much mine as he could be without me having been pg with him because I was there from (at!) conception, looked after my dp during her pg, was amazed by the miracle of his birth, and have done everything that being a parent involves, except b'feeding! We have a known donor, and he sees it akin to giving blood. He's given us some cells, but it was us who turned them into this amazing creature we adore!

I know many people don't see it like this, and can't get past the fact that the child would be biologically related to them. Perhaps it helps if you have family members you don't like: genetic links aren't everything!

What I'm trying to say is that I feel strongly that being a parent is about love, support, interactions etc - nurture and relationship - rather than genetic link. So I think you're amazing that you're going to put yourselves through the toughness of egg harvesting and actual pregnancy & birth in order to hopefully enable other people to become parents. You're amazing x

Original poster

chicadee · 04/01/2007 18:35

What a lovely message Impatience thankyou.
It's exciting because I've got my first appt at the docs to check all my hormone levels etc on Monday.

OP posts:

Pruni · 04/01/2007 19:51

Message withdrawn

nally · 24/02/2007 22:05

chicadee, any further news on this????

amidaiwish · 12/08/2007 15:35

bump
am considering this atm for a family member and trying to get as much info as poss before i get their hopes up.

quint · 12/08/2007 15:40

I'm th eopposite to you chicadee - I could (and offered to one friend - luckily she didn't need to and now has twins) donate eggs to a friend but not to stranger, as it would be my friends child not mine, but if it were to a stranger I would always be wondering what he she were like and were they being looked after properly, whereas I knwo that the friend that I offered to would be a great parent. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I think its a great thing you are doing and I wish you all the best

madmumof5 · 12/08/2007 15:53

i am currently in talks as i am wantin to do egg donation it is so rewardin as we take havin children for granted and there are so many people out there that cant

Nemo2007 · 12/08/2007 15:56

This is interesting as it is something I have thought of doing but dont think I would be wanted due to recurring mc and being overweight.

madcows · 07/09/2007 10:30

amidaiwish,
Don't know if you have made a decision yet - but I'm in the process of becoming a donor for my sister. Am writing a diary about the practical side of it here
All the best with your decision,
mc

Sassib · 13/09/2007 20:32

Guys
if anyone is reading this. Can I just say that anyone who donates eggs is a true angel. I had ovarian cancer at 27 and I was devastated that I couldnt have children. This year, thanks to an angel, I now have a beautiful baby girl. Words cannot describe my happiness and gratitude I feel for my egg donor.

It is a huge gift, but the happiness and joy you can give to people like me is immeasurable and truly one of the greatest gifts of all - life.

I will never be able to thank my donor personally, but I would like to say thanks to you for giving women like me a chance of being a mum, and bringing miracles into our lives.

amidaiwish · 27/10/2007 09:22

just done a search as i haven't been on mumsnet for a while - thanks for your message madcow and i will certainly keep an eye on your diary.
my sister is getting married next summer so i expect the issue to arise "properly" next year. i think i will go ahead, i mean how can i not? how can i deny my sister the chance of trying to have a genetically "like her" child?

Sassib, am really happy for you.

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