IVF and an emotional rollercoaster

[WelshMoth]

A close friend is expecting after 5 yrs worth of failed IVF. Her head and heart is all over the place and she admitted that she thought she'd feel happier now that she's finally expecting (20 weeks). However, she's almost constantly nauseas so, no appetite, fed up of friends and colleagues commenting on her bump (she has a very small gymnasts frame so rather tiny) but ultimately she cannot get her head around the fact that she's feels a failure for not conceiving naturally .

She's also trying to prepare herself for her babies being rushed to SCBU and not having them for herself immediately after birth.

Please help me try and support my friend - I'm at a loss at what to say. She's far from being th failure she thinks she is. I want her to try and enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible. She's come such a long way.

I'm pregnant after IVF and I have found it hard to enjoy it or get excited - much to everyone's surprise! It's hard to enjoy it in case something goes wrong, especially when you have wanted it for such a long time. I don't like it when people talk about my bump etc but I just put a smile on as most people don't know we had treatment. I doubt this would stop them talking about it anyway.

I understand how she feels about feeling like a failure. I've had moments of thinking that I am not having a "real" baby and I worry that others would judge me or my baby for how it was conceived. Those feelings have subsided recently (now 25 weeks). I'm sure she'll be fine when baby is here but anyone's pregnancy or birth can go wrong. IVF pregnancies are usually seen as "normal" once an embryo has been seen on an ultrasound at about 6-7 weeks.

Osirus, thank you for responding. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I hate the way my friend is feeling and wish I could 'magic wand' her worries and anxieties away.

You've both walked such an emotional path to get where you are now but I can imagine that you cannot relax even being half way through your pregnancies. It's not something I entirely understand because I haven't walked in your shoes) but I want to support her.

I very much wish you well. Do you know if you're having a boy or girl?