What should I do? :(

[sjj257]

I'm feeling in a bit of a predicament. I'm married with two children, aged 7 and 9. I really want another baby and now seems the right time to me. However my husband seems less than enthusiastic, he is worried about money.

I stopped taking my pill a few months ago, not purposely, I was due for a blood pressure check up so they wouldn't give me a prescription until I had that done. They cancelled the appointment I made at the last minute and I never ended up making another. We have been using protection since then, however this past few weeks he hasn't and I haven't complained.

My period is due on Sunday and I have now become obsessed with the fact that I might be pregnant and really getting my hopes up. I've done a test this evening and it was negative. I was gutted, even though I know it's too early really.

I just don't know what to do. I know if I mention having a baby to my husband he will fob me off. However, I feel like I have a physical ache for another baby. I'm crying while typing this.

Thanks for reading...I just really felt like I needed to get this out to somebody.

He can't be totally against the idea if he's having unprotected sex. He must know how they are made! I do feel for you; it's horrible wanting something so much but you are denied it. My DP kept putting off having children for about 4 years after I first mentioned it. It wasn't the right time for him, but we then ended up needing IVF and a part of me thinks it would have been easier if we'd done it when I first suggested. I hope you work things out.

I know what you mean, I daren't mention anything to him, I wonder if he wonders if I've just gone back on the pill without telling him?! God knows how theirs minds work, lol.

That's another thing that worries me, just because I got pregnant easily with my two doesn't mean I will this time, it worries me that he may say yes in a couple of years time however by then it may be too late. I'm also conscious of the age gap between my children and any would be baby. I feel like my head is going to explode! Thanks for replying x

I think your hormones are probably up the left with AF due/coming off pill/whatever and you should give them a couple of weeks to settle before having a discussion with DH and explaining how you feel.

I would have a talk with your DH about how much this third child means to you. He can't be totally against the idea if he's having unprotected sex but if he's not ready, as much as you are (and I know wanting a baby is such a strong Desire for us!) it isn't fair to make it happen anyway, knowingly. Of course if it happened he would have to deal with it and I'm sure you'd make it work! My nan always said, if you had to plan exactly when to have a baby, no one would ever have them because no one is ever really ready in every single sense of the word. We could all be more ready in all aspects! But I think if you purposely get pregnant knowing he isn't 100% ready you might feel slightly guilty and it could cause issues for you and your DH and you don't want that. I'm sure that if you're a strong pair, and I'm sure you are, he will understand when you talk and tell him how much it means to you and that of course it won't be a walk in the park but it never is!

Good luck!

You need to talk to your husband and tell him again that youre not back on the pill. He cant be accused of being oopsed then.

I've sent him a huge message this morning. He's not very good at talking face to face about serious things so I just got everything out in a message, no interruptions. I've told him my worries about waiting too much longer with regards to age gap between a baby and our children, about worrying we won't be able to get pregnant because we are older now. I've basically told him if he is totally serious about no more babies then I think he needs to consider having the snip. I would never trick him into having a baby.