Hi everyone. DP and I decided roughly a year ago that I should come off the pill. At the time we had been together 3 and a half years and were both in pretty well paying jobs. Unfortunately DP then lost his job and has only managed to find temporary work (sometimes for only a week at a time) so money is really tight and I have to keep borrowing from parents to pay the bills. We have also just been told that the house we are renting is going up for sale and we have 2 months to find somewhere new, meaning we need to save up a deposit somehow with DP out of a job. So with all this going on the TTC really hasn't been happening at all, my periods are normal-ish now (was on the pill for 9 years) so really we are avoiding sex when my app is showing I am fertile (tbh we don't do it often anyway). I am kind of ok with our decision to put the TTC on hold as obviously our financial situation is not good at all. But my problem is this, my brother and his girlfriend have recently announced they're pregnant. Myself and DP have been together 4.5 years and they've hardly been together 4.5 months. This was an unplanned pregnancy and I think they would be in a lot worse financial situation than us, we have more bills but my monthly salary is more than theirs combined. I can't help feeling really jealous. To make matters worse she proposed to him this Christmas! Myself and DP are not engaged as once we get engaged we want to be able to plan a wedding and even though I know it is possible to have a wedding for less than £1000, we cannot afford anything at all.
I know this post has been a bit all over the place and to be honest that's probably because that's how I'm feeling. When I saw a picture of the scan of my soon to be niece or nephew I filled up with tears, but I can't help but think those tears were because I was upset it wasn't me...