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Conception

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Original poster

Just had a Positive test...Already have a baby tho'

20 replies

lilstarry1 · 14/12/2006 20:17

This might be a bit long and confusing, I am still in shock..

I have a 10 month DD, My AF started up two months ago because she slowed with her BF, then she was poorly and started back up and I thought my AF was just missing because of hormones, however I've been feeling stupidly tired and a little bloated so to rule pregnancy out I took a test, it was positive.

My DP and I are in complete shock, I just don't know what to do.. I am really pleased, but I also love my DD and don't know how I'll cope with two so close in age... Has anyone out there had two so close together, honestly - how do you find it? I've always said I wanted to really enjoy my DD and now I feel like I won't get to ... which is silly, but I don't want to have an abortion because I know how much of a blessing pregnancy is...

ARGH. Also, I've no idea how pregnant I am, no idea when I conceived, my periods were so unpredictable (well, I had two!!) that I don't know what to say to the DR... I guess from my last, but that was a while ago so I could technically be 10/11 weeks gone already, which is worrying because a few weeks ago I was on a lot of pain medication..

I'm waffling..

Finally, I'm due to go back to Uni in January, technically I could still do that, but it is all a little confusing/scary.
Thank you for listening/reading, any advice would be greatly (greatly) received.
xx

OP posts:
DeckTheHallsWithFRAUsOfHolly · 14/12/2006 20:20

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hotmulledwinemama · 14/12/2006 20:40

lilstarry1 - firstly congratulations.

My dd1 was 7 months when I got pregnant with dd2 oops . We were planning another baby but we were planning on a larger age gap!

My first thoughts were utter panic as I was still on maternity leave with dd1, felt like I was taking dd1's babyhood away from her - and I was going to have to put off getting married yet again!

Well, dd2 is now 10 months - there's only 16 months between the dd's - and it is fab.

I was expecting it to be really hard work but it is far easier/better than I thought. I must be honest we don't have any financial worries - which makes life a lot easier. Dd1 also goes to nursery 3 days a week as well.

Tbh the first 6 months were the easiest - it's a little harder now as dd2 is eating solids and on the move - but it's also a time that is full of fun and joy. I absolutely love my dd's and wouldn't change my situation for the world.

Also, can't be too bad as we are 'thinking' about a 3rd - but with a bigger age gap (and are planning to get married first - famous last words!)

Hth - any queries - then ask away.

foxtrottothefestivegrotto · 14/12/2006 20:47

congrats, you'll be fine! Busy, knackered but fine. My 3 are 13 months and 15 months apart. The eldest is now in school, the younger two are at preschool and for the first time in five years i have a couple of hours to myself and looking back i do wonder how we made it - but you are so busy you don't have time to think. To see them all playing together (and fighting too) is great and i wouldn't have it any other way.

shepherdswatchedtheirfLOCKETS · 14/12/2006 20:48

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Peridot30 · 14/12/2006 21:07

Congratulations to you both. You'll manage. My gap is 22months so a bit different from you however i know people who have had 14/15months gap and have managed fine. Good Luck Hope everything goes well x

ChristmasisComing · 14/12/2006 21:10

My 2 are 17 months apart. It IS hard when they are young but now (age 4 and 5) it is wonderful and has been for a while. They are best of friends and we get lie ins in the morning as they just get up, go downstairs and play together. Friends with only one, or a bigger gap, do not get that!!

It is so much easier second time around, you will be so much more confident and knowledgeable.

Our biggest problem was the bedtime routine - we bought a plastic moulded support for ds and they went in the bath togteher, then we started videos (Thomas, Bagpuss, Clangers etc) for dd to watch whilst i fed ds as it was impossible to feed him and read to her!

Congratulations and have a fab time!!

IvorthePolarExpress · 14/12/2006 21:22

Congratulations! I have just 15 months between my two, and the 2nd pregnancy was very much planned. I lived away from family and friends at the time but managed with some outside help. My eldest is now a teenager and it has been fine at every stage. No jealousy from ds when dd was born or afterwards.

Reece · 14/12/2006 21:48

Congratulations!!! When I read your post it was like I was reading about myself (nearly 2 and a half yrs ago).

We have a 16 mth gap between our 2 boys. When I found out I was pregnant with DS2 we were in shock. We really didn't plan to have another baby so soon and DH and I were very careful .

I had all the same concerns that you have (how will I cope?, will DS1 lose out? etc..).

Anyway DS1 is now 3 and DS2 is 21 mths. The 1st 8 mths were a lot easier than I expected, then it got a little trickier for a few months and now its great! They play brilliantly together but they do also have their share of fights (normally over toys). All in all they are a pleaure and looking back we are glad we had them so close together.

You will still be in the motions of doing all the baby things and it will all just come so much more easily 2nd time around

Good Luck and enjoy it You will be knackered but hey - they grow up fast.

3Ddonut · 14/12/2006 22:01

Much like the others, my dd was 9 months when we conceived ds, they're very close, there's been absolutely no sibling rivalry between them, no jealousy on her part at all, they're best buds! also, don't worry about the pain meds, paracetamol and opiates (codeine, morphine etc) are safe for use (not to be used with knowledge of pregnancy without Drs say so - however!) so try not to worry too much, when you've got your head around it and seen your midwife mention your concerns to her and I'm sure she'll put your mind at rest! Lastly, congrats!!!!

Original poster
lilstarry1 · 15/12/2006 07:46

Thank you all SO much, I've read every post and they've all made me smile, and feel so much more reassured. It is just strange and hard because I've no one around me in a similar position so I can't ask how they'd cope or what they did, hearing how many people have not only succeeded but enjoyed such a close age gap is really comforting.

Ironically I've got the HV visiting this morning for my DD's check up so I'll ask her what I should do, I'd really like to know how far along I am so I can work out dates etc, next summer is already busy with two weddings and a family holiday... Eek, all whilst heavily pregnant (something I always said I'd never do - August birth... argh!!)

If anyone else has any other experience do let me know, it is all helping to keep me feeling confident and not a wobbly terrified mess (I guess it's such a shock?!)

Thanks again...
xxx

OP posts:
foxtrottothefestivegrotto · 15/12/2006 08:05

Glad we're helping! Honestly, there are plenty of us out there - just be prepared for the 'are they twins' comments. The hard part is when they are all tiny, once they are all walking talking and out of nappies it's a doddle, not least because they entertain and look after each other.

SchneeBallFight · 15/12/2006 09:17

Congrats!
DS1 was only 8 months when I fell pg with DS2 and it has been fab! DS1 wasn't really old enough to be jealous of the baby but was old enough to be able to feed himself a bit etc. They are now 3y4m and 23m and although they bicker over toys they absuolutely adore each other and are very close - they play together all the time. I am also studying (although just started this year) and managing albeit hard work! All the best - you can do it!
xxx

3Ddonut · 15/12/2006 10:09

I did weddings this year April 29th and my dd was born early June, being my third, I was enormous!!! People were really kind and I got lots of special attention! There were actually three of us pg at that wedding and we were the furthest from our due date!!! People don't expect too much from you when you're that size anyway, my ds was born in October after a long, long hot summer, try to take your mat leave a bit earlier if you can (if you work) you get 9 months as standard from April 1st now! I also went abroad when I was 16-18 weeks pg with ds again, it was hard work tbh but worth it!

Reece · 15/12/2006 22:34

It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it.
I went to my best friends wedding with only 2 weeks to go to my first born. I was hUUUUUge, my feet were swollen and I spent most of the time sitting but I enjoyed myself and wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Also travelled to Spain (without DH) with DS1 to visit parents. I was 4 months pregnant. No problem.
Oh and saved the best til last - went to see Robbie Willams in Phoenix Park, Dublin when I was 7 and a half months pregnant with DS2. I danced my socks off for hours in the rain! It took 2 and a half hours after the concert to walk back to the car through the crowds! We mums can do most things if we want to

greedyformincepies · 16/12/2006 10:35

you will be FINE!!!! it will be lovely having them so close and at least you have already gone through a few months of pregnancy without worrying...it will seem like the shortest pregnancy ever!

my 2 are 17 months apart, so my ds was 8 months when we concieved dd and it was completely planned! it is great and they are such good frineds. dont worry about not having as much time to spend with your first one, just think of all the positive things they will gain like having a sibling. you will be knackered but happy!

Original poster
lilstarry1 · 17/12/2006 07:56

Thanks again everyone, still in shock (a little) but the more we've read the more sure we are this is a great thing...
Just wish the morning / all day sickness hadn't kicked in!
xxx

OP posts:
HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 17/12/2006 08:10

I had a slightly bigger gap-22 months. I would be lying if I said it was not very hard work, especially the first 6 months.

BUT

now they are 18 months and 3 and a bit and they play together very nicely. I am glad we had this smallish gap, though it wasn't planned.

one thing I will say. If you can possibly get outside help, go for it. Plan to live on (nutritious) frozen food for a bit, and so on. I had a cleaner, and it made a world of difference (didn't really buy anything else new for dd-just a cleaner!)

TinselgalacticWalrus · 17/12/2006 08:25

I have 21 months between mine, so a slightly larger age gap, but it's been fine so far (DS1 was 2 yesterday and DS2 is 14 weeks) I was worried sick about it when I was pg with DS2, but it';s been great so far.

I think the first year is hard anyway, notwithstanding siblings. ou'll find ways to cope, and I bet you'll get there and wonder what all the worry was about.

My friend has 12 months between hers, and she said it's been great in that she's got all the sleepless nights out of the way in one go, and now they are older they amuse one another beautifully.

I also had the same prob as you when I conceived, as I had been breastfeeding DS1, and only had one period when he was 10 months, so I could have been anywhere up to 12 weeks when I did a test. I was sent for a dating scan to confirm what stage I was at (I was about 10 weeks by then, but that was a good few weeks after I first went to the docs.)

ernest · 17/12/2006 08:32

I've got 17 months between miine and it was hard work (only in hindsite, at the time I just got on with it! It's looking back and thinking, wow!) but my boys really are best mates, being so close means you can read them the same book at bed time, they'll enjoy the same sort of day trips out, becasue they'll be at a similar level. Think of people who have twins, that is considered difficult but manageable. You'll be fine, your dd will be fine, and she'll ahve a wonderful little sibling, and enjoy, don't panic, it'll be ok. I am truly glad ours came at the time they did. I have a 3 year gap bwn ds2 & ds3 & tbh, I wish they'd come closer, but I tried for nearly a year before I got pg with ds3, so you can't always have the gap you want, either way you look at it.

kittyschristmascrackers · 17/12/2006 09:19

Many congrats on your preg. My first 2 are 14 months apart and my last 2 will be 15 months apart. There is someone on our antenatal thread who had 2 11 months apart. It is perfectlt managable but it is hard work.

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