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Conception

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Original poster

Money matters

18 replies

endlesslove · 27/11/2006 13:23

Hi all. This is probably not the correct place to post but as we are all in the ttc vote thought you lot may be the best people to ask.

It dawned on me this morning..."oh my, what if we cannot afford a baby and I may have conceived and how will we live on one wage" etc etc. (I am in the two week wait!)

I just want to know how hard is it going from two to one wages with a new born? Is anyone else worried about this topic whilst ttc? I would love to have a year out when a baby does come along but am such a worrier!

Thanks ladies

OP posts:

LaylaandSethsmum · 27/11/2006 13:26

Try and work out how much you actually need to live on. It may be that your wage going will make a huge difference but if you can work out a way to manage for a year then that should help you feel less worried. When you are pg save as much as you can , try and live on a set amount per wk, this will set you up for living when you have no extra money and what you save can be used when you're off.

Ready · 27/11/2006 13:29

The things we think about in the 2ww huh!!

octobermum · 27/11/2006 15:33

We have been doing it for nearly three years, and dh has lost some standby cover as well.

As LaylaandSethsmum has said work out what you need to live on and where you can make changes, eg i have given up my car as not used everyday, and when we worked how much it was costing us to have 2 cars it was quite frigtening, £5500 per year for me to use a car for about average of an 1hour a week.

Impatience · 27/11/2006 17:40

I agree with the others: Save while pregnant. Work out your realistic minimum expenditure and your actual income (don't forget child benefit etc) over your pg months and your mat leave. How much do you need to save while you're pg to cover what you need while off? Put that money into a high interest account, then use it to tide you over when you're on the teeny income.

I had to do this because I get v stressed by money and neither of us are high earners, but doing this we actually ended the 12m mat leave with savings!

Original poster

endlesslove · 27/11/2006 17:43

Hi there. Thanks for getting back to me.

I know I am being silly as with DH wages we can live.

What I suppose I am worried about more is will we have the money to send child/children on school trips or swimming club or girl guides or scouts. You know that sort of thing. Also will I be able to buy clothes every now and again. Will we be able to go to the zoo for the day as a family etc etc. Just those little luxuries.

DH and I had discussed money issues before we decided it was time to start trying and agreed it was not a problem, but I think I am just worrying a little too much. Is that a women thing?!

I also think the main reason I am worrying is the fact that DH is self-employed. What if a couple of months go by with no work (this has never happened before so am being a little OTT!). You just never know.

Sorry to rant and worry to you guys but its something that has really got me thinking. Did anyone else worry about the future like this?

OP posts:

honeyapple · 27/11/2006 18:32

Having children can be as expensive as YOU choose. No one says you have to buy the most pricey pushchair/ baby clothes/ cot etc...
So many people go really mad buying way too much stuff for their babies. In fact a baby needs very little. Just think of babies in other countries where they are just tied on to mum. I think articles that say things like.... average price of bringing up a kid is £100,000.... make people really worry.
What do kids need? Love and happy parents, not stuff.

Sorry, didnt mean to preach!

Ready · 27/11/2006 19:35

It's totally a female thing!! We tend to worry far more than men!! I have come to the conclusion that I worry on my DH's behalf!!

greedyguzzler · 27/11/2006 19:52

i completely agree with honeyapple. kids dont have to cost loads of money! everyone wants to give you stuff as soon as you get pg, and if you dont mind second hand cots, clothes, buggies etc then it can be virtually cost free! the baby certainly wont mind!

Ready · 27/11/2006 19:54

Honeyapple - What you said makes perfect sense. I don't think you were "preaching" at all!!

honeyapple · 27/11/2006 20:07

Cheers!
I can become a bit of an old bore about this sort of thing!
I have to stop myself from telling people not to buy stuff when I'm in mothercare...
"OOhhh you dont want that! You'll only use it once!!" etc..

Ready · 27/11/2006 20:15

Ha ha. When I eventually get my BFP (repeat the mantra with me "it will happen for us, it will happen for us" I will call upon you to reign me in!! I am a bit of a magpie!!

Original poster

endlesslove · 27/11/2006 21:22

Thanks for your comments.

I understand that babies are not expensive and what honeyapple says is quite right - there is so much advertising and marketing out there that first time mums tend to buy everything which they really don't need. That is something I am going to watch. DH have been putting £50.00 a month away for about 4 years now so will have some money to buy pushchair, cot and highchair etc (the main things), however mothers have already started saying what they want to buy when they become grannies! can you imagine how interfering they are going to be when and if it does happen for us!

I am just worrying I think about the going down to one wage and the longer term in view of outings out etc.

I hate the two week wait, it really plays tricks with your mind!!!

Had a chat with DH over dinner and he told me in so many words to stop worrying over nothing. But like i said earlier its defo a women thing!

OP posts:

octobermum · 28/11/2006 11:07

Can you put your wages in a different account so A) you can actually see what you have to live and B) you also get to save some money as well.

Chooster · 28/11/2006 15:02

I totally agree with whats been said - babies / children are as expensive as you want them to be. The only thing I would add, is when I had my son I found myself saving money in areas I hadn't expected. We don't go out as much and I don't have as much free time so never amble round the shops and buy things i then regret. All this probably matches the expenditure on DS. And there is SO much you can do that is free, so it needn't cost a fortune.

At the end of the day it all works out and you'll find the money you need.

honeyapple · 28/11/2006 15:02

My DP is also self employed- and money is up and down. Last year I took a part time job working in a bar... good fun and brought in a little bit of extra money.

fatfeet · 28/11/2006 15:29

endlesslove

definately let the "grannies to be" buy stuff for you, pushchair/highchair/cot etc or buy wisely using ebay or accept second hand from people who want to make space in their homes.

dh's £50/month savings will then be a nice rainy day fund to see you through any hard times or enable you to take a bit longer maternity leave than you would have done.
The peace of mind, that having a bit of money in a savings account brings, will enable you to enjoy your time as a new parent that bit more, particularly if dh wants to spend a bit of time at home in the very early days.

In years to come you too will be wanting to get rid of all the baby equipment and will have nothing to show for having used the savings up.

I am the queen of "secondhand stuff" but my kids have savings funds as a result of us having a bit of spare cash to put in their accounts because if I accept second hand stuff or let MIL/mum buy them stuff they need I spend less.

SachaF · 28/11/2006 15:48

I agree with the naturally just starting to worry about money things. I'm at 37 weeks and a couple of weeks ago my hubby went away for work and came back with gifts for me, a few face creams and bath stuff. Rather than saying 'thanks' I wanted to know the price of absolutely everything! This has carried on, he picked up some shopping the other day and picked up a more expensive brand of breakfast cereal then I would normally go for, he had to convince me to relax, it was only 50p more etc.....
So yes, for me there seems to be a natural tendency to worry about money even though I don't need to - both of us being accountants we are very sensible when it comes to money matters, just I am stressing!

Original poster

endlesslove · 28/11/2006 22:17

Thanks for your comments.

Women eh!!!

In response to your comment about free things to do, what things do you have in mind? Just interested to know. I love walking etc and would love to do a walk everyday when I'm off.

I am sounding like I am due to go on mat leave any day! Just hoping it will all work out.

I do think it is harder for a dp with own business as you just never know. I do plan to work 4 hours, 3 times a week after a year. But am so hoping that I can take that year out.

I don't think it helps that I am worrying about money around the Christmas period either!

Does anyone else worry about money issues knowing they will be off when they don't really need to but no matter what dp says its not going to make you stop worrying!!!

I even got to the stage when I was thinking "perhaps ttc is not the right time for us yet as we may not have the money". Feel terribly guilty about saying that now as we have been ttc for 5 months now and all was discussed beforehand.

Oh hurry up two week wait and let me think of expecting a baby in 9 months rather than money!!!

OP posts:

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