How do you stop marking time whilst ttc?

[Mollyben]

Hi all,

First thread....I've been ttc now for 3 months and finding the waiting period quite hard. What do you ladies do to ensure life is not passing you by and that these precious baby-free months are lived to the full, albeit within sensible boundaries?

I'm just finding it difficult to keep motivated at work each day, excited about going out where I need to be conscious what I drink etc,

Appreciate any tips or advice in advance, thanks!

Hi Mollyben. I wish I knew the answer to that one! I'm currently on my fifth month TTC after a miscarriage in March. Today I'm 1DPO so the dreaded two week wait has begun!

For the last couple of months I have obsessively looked for and recorded every twinge, pain and barely-there symptom and convinced myself that I'm pregnant. This month I've decided not to do any symptom spotting, as I now know for sure that 'symptoms' often mean nothing.

I am also going to try and distract myself whenever I start obsessing over things. I've just bought myself an adult colouring book and pencils. Sounds weird but it's meant to be very therapeutic and I've decided that whenever I'm obsessing I will start colouring instead! Hopefully it will be a good distraction.

I've also made some nice plans with friends and family so that I know I've got things to look forward to and enjoy.

Other than that, I just keep telling myself that I've done everything I can this month, and that I should enjoy the next two weeks with no pressure to do OPKs and BD at the exact right time, etc.

Another thing to do is to remember that statistically you're very likely to be holding your baby within say 18 months. Seems like a long time but when it happens, it won't feel long in the grand scheme of things. Good luck and hope you get your BFP soon! x

I only worried about drinking 4 days before period was due as prior to that, if you have succeeded, it's just en route to your uterus, floating around. It's not until implantation at approx 7-10 dpo that you become pregnant and the baby could get anything from you. As they say, drink til it's pink! You can't put your life on hold just in case for an indefinite amount of time. Month before my BFP at 11dpo I had a party to attend, and so POAS to confirm I wasn't pregnant yet and could still drink. Then AF arrived 5 days later and I was pleased I hadn't missed out.

I suppose I was lucky as had a 28 day cycle with period on a Thursday so never had to miss out on weekend drinking!

Oh I also picked what I wanted for meal options for a wedding on Saturday, rather than playing it safe 'just in case' and now have an unsuitable for a pregnancy starter and dessert! At 9 weeks pregnant, I'll be thrilled I can't eat it and if I wasn't pregnant, I would have at least enjoyed my meal.

Good luck and try to assume you always won't be pregnant. Chances are the things you will miss out on once you are won't really matter. But they will if you're not pregnant.

That's very true MrsPCR but alcohol is also a cell killer. The worry isn't that baby will get anything from you but that if you have a heavy booze session you might actually inhibit implantation. I use to drink a bit at the weekends...nothing excessive but DH and I would order a bottle of wine between us if we were out. Now we order a carafe or two glasses and I actually feel the better for it!
It's true that you shouldn't put your life on hold, but it also doesn't hurt to try and get into healthy habits :)
I personally find podcasts an amazing distraction as you need to focus on them (great for commuting). This American Life is a good one :)
I use to note down every twinge/headache/pimple during my TWW and I stopped because now I am not spending hours pouring over old charts and over analysing and comparing.
I'm also throwing myself into sorting out our flat. Sorting through the wardrobe and donating old clothes, filing paperwork, sorting out old paperwork. But only during the TWW so it distracts me. Maybe print out all those holiday photos you never got around to printing and make an album? I find channelling my nervous energy into something positive and rewarding is uplifting :)