I feel like I should go back on the pill but I can't quite give up the tiny shred of hope...

[ScarlettInSpace]

I'll try to keep this as simple as possible but need some advice!

Potted history:
Ectopic 18 yrs ago at uni that nearly finished me off & R tube removed. On pill from then on.
Fast forward to Feb 2011, 34 yrs old, came off pill and started TTC.
Never had a single bfp.
Investigations through 2012 showed FSH 12 AMH 4.2, diagnosed diminished ovarian reserve. No male issue [plus he has 2 kids from previous relationship]
Autumn 2012 long IVF cancelled due to poor response [1 follicle]
Feb 2013 short IVF failed after all 3 embryos retrieved fertilised abnormally.
June 2013 Clomid failed, following month IUI failed.
Tried a cocktail of supplements & hormones until Jan 2014 when I started new job and refocused attention.

Over last 18 months AF is consistent only in its erraticness,
I spend most of my time bloated and pmt'y, and the bleed when it comes is horrendously heavy and the pain/nausea takes me back to when I first started my periods, this month I was physically laid up for a day

I feel like the only way to end it is to go back on the pill but at 38 I still feel too young to give up altogether, which is what that means. Plus we just got married, I am still holding out for a miracle I think.

Help! Basically give me a reason it will be worth feeling so shit for most of the month

Or tell me to stfu and just go back on the pill lol x

Hi folks, just thought I'd update in case anyone searches for this issue in the future, I hate when you find a thread without an update lol

I went to the doctors and he said it would be classed as a continuation of treatment so I had to go back to the same clinic. First appt there in December turned out to be a total waste of time but follow up in February was much better.

The guidelines have been reviewed and as I didn't get a fertilised embryo on my last go they have agreed I can have funding reinstated for one more go! Also my consultant has given me 6 goes of Clomid (to use on tracked cycles) but as I haven't had a period since January I haven't been able to use any yet...

She has also put me down for a full laparoscopy & hysteroscopy, waiting list should see me in for that end May - early June time, give me s good spring clean so to speak

My AMH has deteriorated further to 0.02 and I'm getting a raft of menopause symptoms so I'm not expecting much from my own non existent eggs really - although the woman who reinstated my ivf funding said that if my consultant diagnoses Premature Ovarian Failure then they will also include funding for donated eggs so fingers crossed for that I guess.

Next appt is early May to discuss further, am expecting to proceed with ivf straight after operation so could be a busy summer!

Good luck! I'm not sure which clinic you are with but there are clinics out there which specialise in treating patients with low AMH. Maybe an option for the future, if this round doesn't work.

Thanks
I am with CRM at Walsgrave hospital in Coventry, they don't specialise in much lol but my actual consultant (when I get to see her instead of one of her team, who don't actually do anything ) is really good.

I think I've reconciled with donor eggs now so fingers crossed I get the POF diagnosis - to be honest with ny symptoms that seems more than likely anyway!

Night sweats and hot flushes suck, esp at 39... although OH seems happy with the AWOL AF, lol men eh!