A little question about getting jiggy with it ;)

[sophiedeana990]

Okay, so I'm a little baffled. This is my 3rd month TTC and well here is how the cookie crumbles each month: I have a 30 day cycle and always start using my ovulation kit a few days before I'm due to be ovulating, just to be sure I don't miss anything.

During my fertile period, I only have sex once I get a SMILEY on my OV kit. HOWEVER, I saw something someone put today about actually I should be having sex before that because for the simple reason being, I may have already ovulated once I got that smiley and that night's sex session from the afternoon's smiley may not work because the egg may already be on it's way out?

I have sex as often as possible once I've done the deed for the exact dated ovulation predictor, however, BEFOREHAND I don't do it at ALL unless it's no where near my expected fertile period. My reason for this is OH doesn't like to do it much.. Bloody annoying, I'm lucky if it's once/twice a week now so I must be careful not to 'waste the passion'.

Completely off topic, but he's only 21 and it use to be like 3 times a week tops anyways and back then I thought THAT was a bad sex life :( lol

DH is the same or worse libido-wise. However when we were trying to conceive it was a joint venture so he just did what needed to be done to ensure it happened. I'm sure a couple of extra bonks in and around the pivotal time isn't beyond him, and hopefully it won't be for long. Good luck.

Hiya polkadotsrock, nope, he is completely against any MORE jiggy time and says he's reached his limit completely :'( WHAAA lol

Blimey! If you really have to limit it I would possibly go for th day before and itself, which only works if you have noticed a clear pattern in your cycle. Without wanting to sound mean and rude, and I hope you don't think I'm overstepping the mark, but is he truly committed to having a baby?

Would the day before I ovulate/day I'm ovulating be the day I'm getting my first smiley?

No worries polkadotsrock, I get what you mean and I sometimes think that too, in fact I KNOW he isn't committed in any sense but he isn't against the idea. I wouldn't do it if I knew it wasn't what he wanted, it's just something I REALLY want, certainly more than he does :(

Please just do be sure. And sure enough that you will still want to be in the situation of having a child if he was to leave you.
I can't lie, I'm not 100% sure about ov kits but I do know that sperm lasts for days in there (nice) so earlier is better than later I would think! Again, best of luck

Not much help as not 100% with on kits but sperm definitely survives longer than you think (up to 5 days depending on a variety of factors) so even though an egg is only viable for 24 hours you can still fall pregnant if you don't have sex during the actual 24 hours - in fact I was told the best time is around 2 days before ovulation but could be an old wives tale!

I don't know about ovulation kits but know I've conceived 1-2 days before ovulation with both of mine so think earlier is probably than later (sperm survives longer than the egg).
On another note, you mention that your partner is only 21 and you know isn't totally committed to the idea. Don't want to over step the mark but are you 100% sure it's the right time (and the right person!) to have a baby? DH and I are 30 and having a baby really put pressure on our relationship, it was such a massive life change after being able to do what we wanted when we wanted. Are you sure he (and you) are ready for that? You have plenty of time to start a family/

I was gonna say.. If he isn't 100% it may not be the best thing right now - and could actually be the reason behind the libido drop.
I came off my pill last August for medical reasons and have just been using condoms (which we both despise!) .. And our sex life has dwindled. I found out recently that my husband actually tries to avoid sex because he just so scared of getting me pregnant.. And because he obviously doesn't know when I'm ovulating, he just avoids the situation.. We were pregnant on a pill when we were 18, but sadly miscarried.. So I'm super fertile.
All I'm saying is you never know what goes through their little brains .. And they aren't always forth coming about talking about it either! :)

We dtd on count day 11. I ov'd cd15 we didn't dtd before or after until I got my FP, so yes, do it before - from CD 10 if you ov 14/15. It can only help right?

It is what we both want, he's just very blasé with it comes down to doing anything that doesn't happen magically overnight. I've been with him for more than 4 years now so I know the time is right as we do feel incomplete as a family.

My OH would never leave a child without a father, that's one of the reasons I know I could deal with being a single Mum, as he is very supportive, with me or not.

The book expecting better is quite good at explaining when the best time to have sex is.

I worry about when the right time is too my hubby is a twice a week bloke and my cycles r every 25 days any ideas when best 2 days would be?