Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Shall I have number 3 I just cant decide!

26 replies

Beccarolloveragain · 13/11/2006 14:20

Im really struggling to decide whether to have another baby.

Going from 2 to 3 seems to be a huge decision. Far bigger than from 1 to 2.

Pros to have one
Im broody
DH is broody
Cant wait to breastfeed again
Baby would be born around the time DH went up to nursery (if I conceived ok)
I have always wanted 3
I had DD at 18 - Im now 25 and have this feeling of completing my family quite young so when they are grown up I will still have plenty of life left in me!
I keep thinking about when Im older how lovely it will be to have lots of kids.
I thoroughly enjoy being a Mum and get lots and lots of joy from my kids - I get excited thinking about watching another personality develop and interact with the two I already have.

Cons
My life is fairly easy at the moment, DS now much easier at 3 and DD no trouble so if I didnt have any more yet I could look forward to a copule of easy years and a good bit of me time.
I would like to go to uni - having another one would delay that even further.
Money is an issue.
I worry about all the normal things like 3 kids being much harder than 2.
Will we ever have another holiday!!
Sleepless nights etc etc
Dont enjoy pregnancy

ARggghhh I just dont know

Any thoughts

OP posts:
ready4motherhood · 13/11/2006 14:42

Becca - I'd say GO FOR IT!! You are both broody and you have always wanted 3!!

There will always be cons involved in having more children... the money aspect being the major one I would have thought! But you don't need to be rolling in money to enjoy life. You don't enjoy pregnancy but it only 9 months of the big picture!! As for Uni, perhaps you could do Open University??

At the end of the day though, the decision has got to be right for you and DH!! But if you want 3, and can have 3, you should

Best of luck.

popsycal · 13/11/2006 19:01

oh god go and shag now

Original poster
Beccarolloveragain · 13/11/2006 19:01

im only on cd4 popsy (NOT that im keeping track of my cycle to know my fertile times to have a baby, no, no, not that!)

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 13/11/2006 19:02

Lol @ 'Baby would be born around the time DH went up to nursery (if I conceived ok) '

popsycal · 13/11/2006 19:02

go do it anyway

lockets · 13/11/2006 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FioFio · 13/11/2006 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Beccarolloveragain · 13/11/2006 19:03

LOL NDP

OOPS! Actually probably very fitting

Forgot another con - I dont want to be fat again, my body is wrecked after 2 what the hell will it be like after three?

I keep imagining an even bigger apron belly and incontinence.

OP posts:
popsycal · 13/11/2006 19:05

oh becca go on do it
your dh would be fine about it

get on with it lady

LadyMacbeth · 13/11/2006 19:11

The problems you list are mainly temporary and you could go to uni later. OR maybe you should go to uni now and get pregnant with no 3 towards the end of your final year? You've got plenty of years left!

One of my friends is in the same dilema as you but with older dcs and no uni dilema and all I could say is that you'll never regret having a child! You're far more likely to regret not having one though!

zookeeper · 13/11/2006 19:58

I have three - 5, just three and nearly 2. I thought that the transition from having one to two children was a lot easier than the transition from having two to three. I find it very hard taking them out on my own and all the lugging of the two little ones in and out of the car for the school run is difficult. It's also tricky taking them all out at once, as it's hard to keep an eye on them all,although it is getting easier as they get older.

Sometmes I look at my friends , who nearly all have two, with envy and I often feel than I am so busy caring for them that I don't give them each enough individual attention. I and DP often feel that we lurch from day to day and we have found it a bloody hard slog.

However, predictably, we can't imagine life without the youngest and adore her - when I see all three together playing and laughing I wouldn't change a thing. On balance, I would say go for it!

batters · 13/11/2006 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetkitty · 13/11/2006 22:17

oh becca I could be you (would love to be 25 though) we're debating no 3 right now (DD1 2.4 DD2 10mo) I always wanted 3 too and have the exact same pros as you and most of the same cons except life being easy at the moment lol.

I really don't know what to do commonsense says we should stop at 2, then I can get my career back on track or go back to uni myself but I can't imagine never being pregnant again and holding a little newborn.

I would say go for it TBH.

TheHighwayCod · 13/11/2006 22:18

no

Original poster
Beccarolloveragain · 13/11/2006 23:52

cod WHY wont you let me have another

OP posts:
TheHighwayCod · 14/11/2006 10:21

I would like to go to uni - having another one would delay that even further.
Money is an issue.

McDreamy · 14/11/2006 10:26

I don't know wether to go from 2-3 either! The biggest shock for me was going from 0-1 though!! I do wonder what going from 2-3 would be like and once you've done it........ DD is nearly 4 and DS is 16 months....just don't know what to do but get very clucky around new babies! I am also one of 3 but I was the oldest - what about this middle child syndrome ......oh decisions decisions

Original poster
Beccarolloveragain · 14/11/2006 16:26

Argggh its really getting on my nerves.

Its on my mind all of the time.

I think in an ideal world, what I would like is to NOT want another.

I want to be happy with 2 but Im not hmmmm

OP posts:
whoopsfallenoveragain · 14/11/2006 16:37

Becca - Go for it!! I am ttc no 3! (don't tell dh about the trying bit though) he is happy for it to happen if it happens!!

corrina28 · 14/11/2006 16:53

i would love to have another but again money etc and i would like to get back to work eventually, ds2 is now 2.6 years. and the thought of having another epidurals for c section scares the fricking shit out of me.

comebacksummer · 14/11/2006 17:40

hi becca
I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant with no 3, after exactly the same heartache and reasons for and against as you- so many very kind mnetters helped me get my head together, and I realised that the desperate broody feeling i'd never felt before ( DDS 1 & 2 were more done to "right time" than broodiness) wasn't going to go away- my DH wasn't keen initially but we realised that all the against factors were practical ones and all the for ones were emotional ones, and you can't live life just being practical, can you????? I do get days when I think, what have we done, and that bloody programme last night on middle child syndrome made me cry for what we are doing to dd2 in making her a middle child, but...I would say listen to your heart ( as Roxette once advised) and see how you feel in a month or so...
good luck!

greedyguzzler · 14/11/2006 18:07

i too am currently ttc no. 3. DS is 3.5 DD is 22months. both as gorgeous as ever and i would love another gorgeous one (sending it back if its not gorgeous!)
just go for it....you know you wont be happy until you do!!!
some days i wonder how i would ever cope with another one, but i have always imagined myself with 3 and never thought my DD was my last so cant imagine NOT having anymore. not sure i will want to stop at 3 though!
i reckon going from 1 to 2 is a shock cos you suddenly have no time to yourself, but 2 to 3 would be ok cos you are used to be run ragged and being completely knackered all the time anyway.....how much worse can it get?
im hoping to find out soon!!!!

greedyguzzler · 14/11/2006 18:09

i am a middle child by the way and i am fantastically well adjusted and normal, get on really well with my siblings and love my birth position.......so i reckon that programme was bollocks!

Ready · 21/11/2006 19:10

Beccarolloveragain, what did you decide??

peegeeweegee · 21/11/2006 21:12

Beccarolloveragain (fantastic name btw ), did you come to a decision?

I am in a similar situation to you. (Although I am 10 years older...)
I have two gorgeous children, the first, a boy aged 7 who was conceived out of broodiness. The second, a girl aged nearly 4 who was conceived as the age gap was right.

DH decided that as we have one of each, and he is nearing 40, that 2 is plenty and our family is complete. I have always wanted 3. I am now very very broody, but like dh am worried about no spare room, need a bigger car, money, delay in me going back to work etc etc...

What shall we do??????
I really really want to do the baby thing one more time....

What have you decided??